Raich Carter returns to Hull City, as Brian Horton succumbs to Rabies

Funny story written by indethinker

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

image for Raich Carter returns to Hull City, as Brian Horton succumbs to Rabies

In an astonishing development former Hull City great Raich Carter, has been confirmed temporary assistant manager replacing the now sick Brian Horton.

Celebrated psychic Mystic Meg confirmed that she was acting as Mr. Carters agent, and that Hull chairman Paul Duffen had agreed to a award Mr. Carter a temporary 4 year contract, at 40 grand a week but only if the Hull great could prove his knee was still injured, from a good kicking he got from the dirty thugs of Scunthorpe United in the 1950's.

Mr. Duffen confirmed the signing today stating "We welcome the return of the great Raich Carter to the Hull coaching staff, and look forward to his contribution to our fight for Premiership survival" He also was heard to say "let's see if that greasy little dago can hit Raich Carters ghost with his spittle"

Mr. Horton was today diagnosed with rabies after inadvertently swallowing the spittle of Sissy Faggyass the captain of Arsehol, who on Tuesday night, along with "referee" Old Mutha Riley cheated the mighty "Tigers" of their rightful place at Wembley.

Faggyass spent the entire game on the Arsehol bench, aiming spit balls at the Hull coaching staff. Though this was denied by Arsehol manager Arseand Whinger, even though Whinger was seen to get one full in the face just before half time.

When asked for a quote Whinger responded by saying "All I saw was my players trying to spit quickly and the 'Ull were wasting all our time, their goalkeeper took at least 15 seconds to spit every chance he got"

An unnamed Hull player confirmed this breaking allegation about Faggyass stating
"He was doin' it all game, if Deano had bin 'ere he'd 'ave kicked the shite out of the greasy little dago"

When asked for a quote Hull manager Phil Brown said:

"Raich Carter is a legend in the history of Hull City, I look forward to his contribution" but muttered "if he interferes with me tan time, I'll ship him off to Oldham, before the months out"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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