Goose Leads or Els

Funny story written by Rebut

Sunday, 20 June 2004

image for Goose Leads or Els
It's got everything, even a place to par your beer.

With two South Africans leading the way at the halfway mark of the US Open, it is time to accept that in golf South Africa are up there with best.

Retief Goosen at 5 under is setting the pace, while Ernie Els is two back, in second place.

As one of the greatest golf talents never to go on, I can only imagine how they must be feeling.

I once shot a 64 at Glendower Country Club but it was getting dark, so we couldn't play the second hole.

The groundsmen nearly shot a Traps when he saw the divots.....

but I digress..

Els has always been the wunderkind down the years but Goosen having now won the European Order of Merit and a major, is no longer the bridesmaid.

I, on the other hand, was also considered to be some sort of wunderkind with the green keeper having to wunder if that kind would ever finish the hole he was playing.

It wasn't always my fault :

Once I teed off the first and sliced into the trees. Instead of dropping out, I decided to try and hack it out of the thick undergrowth.

Slashing n hacking, crashing n wacking, I was on the edge of the fairway, just in front of the tee, in 24.

Then I saw the club pro who'd been watching me 'at work' : "What club should I use?"

"Dunno, what game are you playing?"

Of course the big question is where's Tiger?

Have you seen Tiger's bird?

Do you got a bird like Tiger's?

Would you like to get a bird like Tigers?

Best check your bank balance because those are high maintenance, very low mileage.

So with two rounds to play and everything to play for the chances are a South African is going to top the leaderboard when it matters.


Maybe, depends if he's facing that period in which he is unable to sink one, so he may as well go and play golf.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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