Keep reading, then applaud the wittiness of the headline - Wanataway LA galaxy star David Beckham has come up with an idea that could please his American bosses and allow him to play real football at his loan club AC Milan for the rest of the season.
Beckham, 33 (thanks wikipedia), has eased the pressure to return to america for the start of the "soccer" season by developing an MLS version of the classic football board game Subbuteo in which all MLS teams are accounted for.
Beckham has stated that all fixtures will be played out once a week and he will represent LA Galaxy. An MLS spokesperson has praised the move, saying "it's brilliant, Beckham's the only reason anyone can stand watching this league anyway so if he still represents it with his finger's and thumb's it better than what the rest of those jokers can do.ha ha ha ha ha. wait, don't print that."
Beckham is delighted that he is now seemingly about to play proper football whilst maintaining his ambassadorial role for "soccer" in "america". As a bonus he has solved the poor attendance problem which has plauged the MLS since it's inception.
"I realise that i have an old box full of lego men, toy soldiers and transformers in my mum's attic" the footie God gleefully said, "when they are all put out around the pitch there'll be record attendances. I have at least 200 toy soldiers to begin with, that beats what we got in real people for the New York game. Plus it'll be a fun warm down after a game to play about with Octopus Brine"
So there you go, Beckham has the best of both worlds. Now let's see how long it takes him to announce his retirement from MLS subbuteo due to "chronic thumb blisterage."
