In a Republican inspired economic situation comparable to their First Great Depression, NFL team owners have announced that they cannot pay their players' salaries for the Superbowl.
TV executives anxious not to lose their revenue have released announcements that three hours of "startling and innovative ads" will be run in place of the big game.
Budweiser promises to expand its lame bottles make believe game into a full thirty minute scrimmage featuring guest appearances of numerous alcoholic NFL former and present stars. The National Rifle Association has agreed to fund a ten minute infomercial starring Plexico Burress on the importance of putting your gatt on safety when cruisin' the clubs.
Plexico will also appear in an animated reconstruction of the NFL season as if he had not shot his dopey ass in the leg and could have played for the Superbowl Champion Giants down the stretch...
