Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 28 January 2009

image for Robinho DID NOT Go Back To Brazil To Avoid Arrest Over Serious Sexual Assault Charge
The Leeds woman at the centre of the sexual assault charge

Robinho, Manchester City's wantaway Brazilian striker, has said that his mysterious recent trip back to his home country was not triggered by an urgent need to avoid West Yorkshire police in relation to serious sexual assault charges.

Robinho, real name Robson de Souza, left City's training camp and flew back to South America two weeks ago, saying he "had to go". City manager Mark Hughes has said that the player will be fined a ridiculously small amount of his wages for breaking ranks.

Yesterday, it emerged that police in Yorkshire wanted to interview the player about a sexual assault on a munter in a Leeds nightclub. Robinho's spokesman Chris Nathaniel said:

"Robinho is innocent. He wouldn't harm a fly, much less an ugly, stinking Yorkshire bitch with a face like a bag of spanners."

Mr Nathaniel went on:

"My client went back to Brazil to sort out some 'family business'. Nothing whatever to do with evading the constabulary. That's what I have been paid to say, anyway."

Proceeding (slowly).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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