Liverpool UK: Shocking news reverberated around the world today with the news that Steven Gerrard actually smiled.
Mr Gerrard, noted for being a miserable git, was opening a snack bar outside a College in Garston Liverpool. Stunned onlookers stared in disbelief when grumpy Gerrard managed to keep a little smile going for around three seconds, the best of his career so far.
Scouser Jim Eanme from Toxteth, who bought an insect infested baked potato with pongy cheese and black beans, couldn't believe his eyes. "I was there watching Gerrard cut the string around the van, when a local slag took her top off and waggled her tits in his face, throwing her bra over his head" Gerrard was heard to say "this is the only cup I'll get with liverpool this year...ha-ha-ha"
Fellow onlooker Luce Bowel from Crosby, who ordered stale, dry salad and pale white chips commented "I was in shock, never before have I seen Gerrard smile like that, he's normally such a miserable sod on TV and that attempt at a joke was shite".
Upon hearing the news Liverpool manager Rafa Benitez, immediately had Gerrard rushed to hospital, where surgeons placed a Jaw brace on him to prevent this outrageous incident from happening again. Gerrard was thankfully unavailable for further comment.
