Former world boxing champion, Scott Harrison, was today charged with the ancient crime of 'being violent.'
Having spent most of his life hitting people with his fists for money, and punching them in the head and the stomach, Harrison today denied he was in any way violent.
'I'm not violent', he said, before taking a swing at his sparring opponent, James 'Nutter' McDonald, breaking his jaw in three places.
Rumours have persistently come from the west of Scotland that Harrison, and other boxers, actually go around hitting people, and hurting them, but the spokesman for the official boxing association, the World Braindamaged Council, denied this. 'Is this Thursday?', Muhammed Ali asked, 'or is it Wembley?'
And rival organisation, the World Boxing Fixedmatches, added: 'Boxing is a harmless sport for grannies and children, it's foxhunting you should be banning!'
Cassius Clay is taking his medication.
