Beautiful and feminine tennis star Justine Henin today denied that she was actually a man.
Speaking from her iron-packed work-out gym, Miss 'Dustin' Henin said: 'Esker avez vous un sandwich avec des grenouilles', and also added: 'I heez a woman, sank you, please go now - round to the deli to get me more steroids, merci bien.'
According to Women's tennis magazine, 'Bulging Muscles and Moustaches', Miss Henin has been long assumed to be male, and was even live-in partner to singer and tennis fan Sir Cliff Pilchard. But today's news has meant a huge sigh of relief, for Sue Barkingdog and Martina Navpratilova, and other delightful-looking girls.
Speaking from her Siberian gulag, Miss Navpratilova said: 'Da, eez true, she eez girlie. With you een a minute, Sue.' And English tennis legend, Tim Henpecked, said: 'OK, I've never won anything, but not even I could make all those loud, masculine shouting noises that Justine manages every time she plays a shot. Strawberries and cream, anyone?'
Sporting legend and BBC presenter, Gary Linekbore, commented: Well .... the excitement ....is overwhelming .....zzzzz.'
John Motson was unavailable for shouting in the background like an excited schoolboy, but Dan Maskill managed to say: 'Oh, I say!' a few hundred times, before dying of boredom in Lineker's office.
Bjorn Borg is madly in love with himself.