The city of Manchester, which hosts the UEFA Cup final on Wednesday, today officially said 'we're not sorry', as they deliberately tried to prevent ticketless Rangers fans from setting foot in the place.
Pat O'Celticfan, the city's head Hoopsperson, said: 'Manchester has a large number of citizens of Irish descent, and Rangers fans are about as welcome here as an outbreak of bubonic plague.' Another councillor, Tim Malloy, added: 'Actually, we hope they come down here, most of my relatives are itching to give those Nazis a right doing.'
Ticketless fans will be herded into 3 war zones, and after endless skirmishes throughout the match with local police, outright warfare will break out after the game. Naturally, the visiting Russian fans will not only be unharmed, but will be in about the safest part of the world, as fighting Scots and English don't even rate anyone else as worth bothering about, they'll be too busy re-enacting the Battle of Bannockburn to care.
Ladbrokes today gave Rangers fans a slight edge, favourites at 6/5 to win, but made Manchester at only 2/1 against, generous odds, explained by the fact that not only does the city have thousands of yobbo football fans, it also has the police on its side, and if there's one thing British police forces hate it's visiting football fans, and especially ones from Glasgow.
Naturally, thousands of fans of Rangers' rivals, Celtic, may decide to go to Manchester, to help their English brothers-in-arms in the struggle, on the other hand, they probably won't, as even Celtic and Rangers fans hate the English police more than they hate each other.
Rangers manager, Walter Bland, said: 'It's sad, why can't people just enjoy the match, and remember that Scottish Protestants are the Master Race, and there'll be no Popery in our country, want to make something of it?' And Celtic manager, Gordon Redheid, said: 'Come on ye Ruskiessssss!!!!!!!'
Gary Lineker has been asleep for a year, but nobody noticed.
