FA HQ, London - (Disaster Mess): The Football Association has blamed Prince William for hexing the England team in last night's farcical defeat by the Croatians.
"Last time he slimed his way onto the pitch where the national team was playing we lost the Rugby World Cup to South Africa," a FA top brass source moaned today.
"And now he's done it once again.
"It's as if the very life-blood was vampirised from our once invincible England players.
"I blame William for this disaster, fair and square.
"And for the sense of national shame that's booted us into the doghouse for the next four years.
"Everything he touches goes belly up.
"Maybe it's the Curse of Diana's Memorial Fountain that he's spreading.
"Either way, we want him out as FA President.
"And that's also the top demand before Mourinho will sign on the dotted line to replace that tosser McLaren."
