Written by Bonnie Burns

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

image for Man Eats Basketball For NBA Final Game 6

Topeka KS: James Stein loves basketball. The team does not matter, just watching basketball is what he lives for. With the NBS finals, the thrill is just as intense as any major sport finale. To show his devotion, and yes, addiction to basketball, James elected to actually eat a Spalding professional basketball.

James Stein lives by himself in a two room apartment. He works part time as a hair sweeper in a barbershop. He purchased his Spalding basketball online through ebay. When it arrived, he prepared for the basketball feast. What is more amazing, James had his mother come and help him cook his meal and also serve as proof that he did eat the basketball. And as we all know, a mother would never lie.

James contacted us and we were amazed at the fact that this young man did indeed eat the basketball. We called James for an interview, and here are the facts and process.

"I knew that eating a basketball would not be easy" stated James. "So I decided to eat it as a 3 course meal"

As the story goes, James first shredded the basketball into strips. He them placed each strip into a Cuisinart and chopped it into very small pieces. He then placed all pieces into a bowl filled with water and allowed it to soak for 3 days.

"I then went about preparing my meal" stated James.

He started with shrimp cocktail. He took about a cup of shaved basketball and mixed into the cocktail sauce and also into the shredded lettuce. He placed four cups of basketball shavings into his homemade stuffing for the Cornish hens. Another cup went into the mashed potatoes and a cup went into the homemade rolls. Two cups of basketball bits were added to the chocolate cake batter.

James prepared his meal with loving care and then proceeded to enjoy what he made. "At first it was a bit chewy, but with such small pieces it was not to difficult to get down" said James.

No, his mother did not partake of the feast.

In our opinion, the NBA Finals just got a bit 'madder'. But, James did survive his basketball meal. He stated he did have some very bad gas and did stay home from work as the oder was very overwhelming, and he himself almost fainted from the smell. But three rolls of bathroom tissue later, the only thing that got clogged was, well, his toilet.

We asked James if he would do this again. He said " Why not. I had great meal and just a few days of some heavy bathroom time. Maybe I will write a cookbook titled 'Ball Cooking Made Easy'. We wish James good luck with that.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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