Ex champ Lewis set for ring return

Funny story written by MickyW

Monday, 12 March 2007

Lennox Lewis is on the verge of signing a new deal that will see him return to the ring - as a round-card girl at the MGM Grand Hotel in Las Vegas on May 5.

The former heavyweight champion turned down a £12million deal for a comeback against former foe Vitali Klitschko and instead will be a special guest between rounds during the big showdown between Oscar de La Hoya v Floyd Mayweather Jnr.

Boxing insiders have voiced their concerns that former Olympic gold winner and three-time heavyweight champ could be on the verge of embarrassing himself but the fighter said he felt it was an opportunity he could not pass on.

Lewis, 41, said: "I haven't the determination to put myself through 12 weeks of hell to prepare for a fight but this gives me the chance to step between the ropes and soak up the adoration of my public, without getting knocked out.

"People will say I'm embarrassing myself but this is a lot easier than fighting and nothing's more embarrassing than the site of a 41 year-old fighter past his best groping around on the canvas looking for his gumshield when he's had that one fight too many."

And with a smile, the former self-named 'puglist specialist' added: "Plus, I've a great pair of legs and they'll be shaved beforehand. I'm on a diet now so I can look my best."

His attire on the night will be a "sassy little gold lycra number encrusted with diamonds designed by my mum."

Former boxing legend George Foreman said: "All power to Lennox but if he wants to look good in lycra he better be using my lean-mean ultra big grilling machine, available at all?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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