Wembley Key Fiasco - Exclusive!

Funny story written by Egg Man

Friday, 9 March 2007

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Just One Of The Key's Lost At Wembley

The handover of keys to the Football Association's new Wembley stadium in London has hit yet another unforeseen "snag", the keys have gone missing.

Phillip, the man whose job it is to make sure the toilets all flush is reported to have dropped the keys down a drain in the "A" row of the new arena last Friday evening.

The new Wembley project said to cost a staggering £8801 million is already fifteen years behind schedule, the loss of the keys are set to put it back even further.

We caught up with the Forman in charge during his lunch break, between supping his ale, he told us "We did all we could, I asked Jim who has the longest arms in my work team to feel down the drain as far as he could, he reported back to me that he couldn't reach the bottom so now we need to implement plan B.

We asked what plan B was, "Plan B is asking Jim to hold a length of string down the drain with a magnet tied on the end, I saw it once in a bank robber movie, it was a black and white film but I think the mechanism should still work. I told my work force and they reported back to me that it was a brilliant idea".

Dick the handy man was sent down the road to the local do-it-yourself shop by the Forman to get the string and magnet. "Dick's on his annual leave and he's not due back for a couple of weeks, I've asked my work force to give the new gates a lick of paint in the meantime, I'm not one to waist time like the media have reported"

We left the Forman in the pub with his work force waiting for the clock to strike three, that's when overtime starts.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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