Crazed Duke Fans Plan Revolution as NCAA Tournament Berth Fades

Written by WilKory

Wednesday, 14 February 2007

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America's fondness for toppling evil dictators of totalitarian regimes has extended to a new target: Mike Kryzewski.

Following the team's dismal 4-game losing streak and failure to make the Top 25 rankings, Duke hoops aficionados have begun calling for the resignation of the once-beloved tyrant, better known as Coach K.

Bart Philmore, president of the newly formed group of radicals calling themselves "Coach K Not OK", has put out a campus-wide call to arms against the beleaguered despot.

"Look, this guy is a fluke," said Philmore from an undisclosed underground bunker that smelled of Red Bull and Twizzlers. "Sure, he had a few good years, but these last few weeks just prove he's still riding the coattails of (former coach) Bill Foster. No national championship will ever erase the memory of that 1995 loss to Clemson. Dude, seriously? Clemson? C'mon."

Philmore and his troops have launched an all-out offensive to unseat the legendary coach, using such guerilla tactics as late-night panty raids on the coach's wife, covert TP-ing of the his house, and attending lacrosse team parties, well, just because. The group?s latest effort involved using ropes to topple the Coach K statue in front of Cameron Indoor Stadium, the university?s basketball arena.

Coach K has been lying low during the losing streak, but Philmore notes that several amateur camera phone videos have spotted him hanging around campus.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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