Westwood Village, CA. Exclusive to The Spoof. As predicted by The Spoof last spring, three days after the firing of UCLA basketball coach Steve Alford, the Bruins have announced that former NBA superstar Shaquille "Shaq" O'Neal has accepted a position as a head coach at Westwood,
"Shaq" has made no secret of his desire to coach after many outstanding seasons in the NBA, including several on championship teams. The timing is perfect. Shaq's son, Shareef, entered UCLA last fall, and is a player, as a freshman, on the varsity team.
Rumor has it that Shareef's decision to move to Westwood was marked by negotiations between "Shaq" and UCLA athletic director Dan Guerrero, leading to the head coaching offer to "Shaq." Beginning immediately, O'Neal will become head coach... of the UCLA academic decathlon team.