Jose Mourinho, Manchester United manager, seems to have a chip on his shoulder as big as his salary because he is always grumpy!
A soccer shrink working for Jaggedone's CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) called, Sir Blubby Blusby, has been studying Jose's mannerisms and come up with the following list of conclusions why he is a miserable old sod and here they are:
1) He hates Manchester, loves the West End of London, but the money was too good to refuse!
2) He hates living in a first class suite in a grand hotel because he loves cooking Portuguese cuisine and only can eat fantastic 5 star Portuguese cuisine in his place of abode!
3) He hates the tabloids following his every step, but loves the attention!
4) He hates being "Mister Nice Guy" just in case any reporter claims he is similar to sacked manager, David Moyes, in other words; Mr Nice Guy, but fucking useless!
5) He hates Paul Pogba's rap music (who wouldn't) but dished out 89 million GB Pounds for him, so he's stuck with it!
6) The porno channels on his TV in his luxury suite are English, he prefers Swedish because Zlatan told him they are much better!
7) He hates flying longer than 2 hours in a luxury private jet with his team and would prefer a Ryanair or Easyjet flight so his players would need to loosen up properly instead of being pampered by beautiful hostesses whilst laying in the horizontal!
8) And the biggest thing that gets up Jose's nose is that Manchester City are in the Champions league and ex-manager, Louis van Gaal, sentenced him to playing in the Europa League; now that is really a pain in the butt!