Professor Stephen Hawking plans return to ring

Funny story written by Breeze

Monday, 4 December 2006

image for Professor Stephen Hawking plans return to ring
When 'Iron' Mike gets in range, Whammo - Hawking

Professor Stephen Hawking announced yesterday that he plans to return to the ring after a hiatus of thirty years.

Professor Hawking, 50, told our reporter, "I used to be proper tasty in my younger day before I done all this physics stuff."

The Oxford academic revealed that he has been in talks with boxing supremo Don King and hopes to have a bout soon.

"Don has a few fighters lined up for me," said Hawking "And we hope to have an exhibition match soon with 'Iron' Mike Tyson."

Professor Hawking, who wrote the popular book 'A brief history of the Universe' which everybody has but nobody has ever read, plans to have modifications made to his wheelchair in order to help him fight.

"I have put a boxing glove on the end of a big spring," he told our reporter last night, "and when 'Iron' Mike gets in range, Whammo!"

Professor Hawking dismissed reports that his health could be jeopardised by going into the ring at the age of 50 and in a wheelchair.

"Nonsense, I've never felt better in my life." he coughed.

A top doctor told us last night, "He'll probably get killed, but he might win. It's 50/50 really.."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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