McClaren and Moyes co-found support group

Funny story written by Jack Allen

Friday, 25 July 2014


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Surprise Christmas presents are no longer allowed at Steve's house...

Steve McClaren and David Moyes have co-founded a support group for battered and abused sporting managers, with the hope of providing an environment to rehabilitate anyone who joins.

Both the co-founders have arguably received the most ridicule and abuse from fans and critics over the past 15 years above all other managers. McClaren was bombarded with insults and disrespect during his reign as England manager, being labelled "the wally with the brolly", and in some circles as "the twat who forgot his hat". This led to McClaren managing clubs abroad, with high levels of success, before he could once again face managing in this country.

Whereas David Moyes' pain is much more fresh, as only last season was he routinely ripped to shreds quicker and more viciously than an unattended strawberry cheesecake at Paddy Kenny's house. Moyes is yet to find employment since this tragic spell in his career but believes this course can help others who have been through it.

In an interview today, Moyes said, "This project is needed as managers of British clubs are the most mistreated, abused and misunderstood individuals in sport today. They require support and trust at all times. If the sport cannot provide this then we will. It can take years to heal."

With the support group now taking on members, rumours about who will attend are rife. Graham Taylor, Luis Felipe Scolari, Peter Reid, Andre Villas-Boas and Joe Kinnear are all allegedly paying their annual membership fees up front this week to ensure they qualify for the new starter's present, a weekend shadowing Glenn Roeder.

Critics are also looking at this project in a favourable light, as due to the creation of the project, they are unlikely to be held accountable for the scathing comments they make about a situation or person they arguably know very little about.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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