1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt

Funny story written by Wumf

Monday, 24 February 2014

image for 1st International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be Held In Frankfurt
Ad for Frankfurt International Dachshund Race & Sausage Festival

FRANKFURT, GERMANY - In an effort to establish dachshund racing in Germany, the Frankfurt City Fathers are excited to announce the First Annual International Dachshund Race, Sausage and Beer Festival to be held here in June.

Race Organizer, Englebert Winkler, explained, "The Dachshund is a dog breed that originated in Germany. We strongly feel our little sausage dogs have been overlooked in the dog racing world. They may not be tall, slender, and sleek like the greyhounds, but they have a lot of courage, having been bred to go after ferocious badgers in burrows in the ground."

Dachshund races were first held in Australia in the 1970's. Since then the sport has grown, particularly in the U.S. with such events as "The Running of the Wienies" in Germantown, Tennessee, "The Annual Doxie Derby" at U.C. Davis, and the 16th Annual Weiner Dog Nationals in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. The largest event is the (18th) Annual Sir Wienieschnitzel Wiener Nationals in southern California, which draws thousands of visitors every year.

Continued Herr Winkler, "We are proud of our German heritage and culture here in Frankfurt, home of the world famous frankfurter. Our German dachshunds are not called 'wiener dogs' for nothing! Germany is a land of 39 different kinds of sausages. We plan to combine the excitement of dachshund racing with a wonderful sausage and beer festival, so tourists will have a great experience, similar to Octoberfest, only in June."

Unfortunately, Bacon, the undisputed champion of wiener dog racing who was featured in the movie, 'Bacon Blasts the Competition', passed away in 2008. Bacon's fastest time was 45 yards in 3.2 seconds. Current champions, like an American piebald named Moscow, are slated to attend the Frankfurt race, which will be on a 22 yard course. Wiener dog racing internet sites are ablaze with excitement as owners are getting their stubby-legged racers in shape for this summer's big event.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more