OROTINA, Costa Rica - Costa Rica's very promising figure skater Hacienda Bolero, 23, has stated that she will not be going to Sochi, Russia to compete in the XXII Winter Olympics.
The extremely beautiful Miss Bolero told the members of the news media that two days before she was to have departed her country for Russia she accidentally slipped on a banana peel and badly bruised her meniscus.
Her gynecologist told her that she would barely be able to walk much less compete in the figure skating Olympic event.
The president of Costa Rica Kiko Sombrero expressed his personal disappointment and that of the entire population of Costa Rica who were hoping that Hacienda would have brought home the gold.
President Sombrero stated that to try and cheer the fabulous figure skater up he will be giving her a brand new 2014 KIA Spectra.
He commented that he will be naming a new government building in her honor plus her face will appear on a brand new Costa Rican dollar bill.
