Hockey player suspended for having too many teeth

Written by ShepShepard

Monday, 30 December 2013

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"Less teeth, more puck" -every coach ever

Cold part, Canada - Starting defenseman Larry McMurphy was suspended 2 games for his repeated violation of NHL dress code. According to section 3.41.2 "No player, in accordance with hockey tradition, shall have a complete set of front teeth." His suspension is effective immediately.

McMurphy is appealing the ruling on the grounds that his face is extremely disfigured. "I know I have my teeth, but I'm still not pretty," said McMurphy in a recent interview. He continued, "Surely we can follow the spirit of the law not the letter of the law." No NHL representative could be reached for comment.

In the past 2 players have been suspended for similar dress code violations. Ryan Peterson (85-88 Whalers) and Matt Cozniak (94-95 Penguins) were both suspended for 2 games. Each elected to have a front tooth removed to continue playing. After his procedure, Cozniak famously said, "The NBA is a bunch of pussies."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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