Shaquille O'Neal Proposes A Much-Needed Change To The NBA Technical Foul Rule

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 12 May 2013

image for Shaquille O'Neal Proposes A Much-Needed Change To The NBA Technical Foul Rule
Shaq says that the only way to stop technical fouls is to hit the players with a hefty fine.

ATLANTA - Shaquille was in Atlanta filming a commercial for a brand new line of professional basketballs named Big Bouncy Bounce Basketballs.

He was asked by Dottie Bazooka with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily to comment on his proposal to change professional basketball's Technical Foul Rule.

O'Neal who had invited Miss Bazooka to have dinner with him at a Pompous Pizza Parlor told her that something definitely needs to be done about this outdated rule.

He remarked that he watched that circus performance in Chicago between the Bulls and the Miami Heat and at times he actually felt like he was at a friggin ice hockey match.

Shaq said that the only thing missing was the black puck. He then added that it has gotten to the point where hitting a player with a technical is no big deal anymore.

He commented that players need to know that the NBA referees and the NBA powers that be are no longer going to tolerate grown men acting like third graders.

Miss Bazooka asked him what the answer is. Shaq took three bites out of his triple pepperoni pizza and said that he is proposing that Commissioner David Stern grow some and change the technical foul rule from giving a team one free throw to giving them five free throws.

He then said that if a player is given a second technical during the game the other team will again shoot five free throws, plus the player will be ejected from the game, and he and the team will both be fined $65,000.

O'Neal said that this is the only way that you are going to get these NBA players to start acting like grown men instead of like little, spoiled, rotten brats.

In Breaking News. After Syrian officials intercepted an email which stated that Puerto Rico was planning on invading Syria on May 15, the invasion has now been officially cancelled by the Puerto Rican government.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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