Conference North mid-table team, Gloucester City, have discovered that as from next season, they will be homeless, after selling the ground they have played in for the past one hundred a twenty years, and owing their current landlords forty-thousand...
Conference North side, Halifax Town, have shocked the football world by signing former Premiership and England striker, Wayne Rooney. "It was a chance encounter," said Halifax chairman, Dave Breastcost. "I'd been hanging around his local pub for e...
The sixth level of English Football, the Conference North, is to be re-branded as the Conference UK after teams from Oxford and Cambridge were added to the cannon of clubs partaking in the division. "We had a couple of teams from just north of Lon...
Droylsden FC, a not-quite-professional football club from east Manchester playing in the Conference North has lost the final of the Manchester Senior Cup without ever kicking a ball. The game, scheduled for last week, was postponed when Droylsden...
Stalybridge Celtic of the Conference North have examined their finances and decided that promotion would be financial suicide. "We said to Jim Harvey, the manager, to get us promoted in three years," said chairman Rob Gorski. "The bugger nearly di...
Worcester City player Lee Smith has been suspended from playing indefinitely while a police investigation is conducted into his comments on Twitter. "His remarks were out of order," said club chairman, Adge Wurzel. "I don't understand this Twitche...
Stalybridge Celtic have set a personal best record by going unbeaten at home for nearly the whole of 2011, and manager Jim Harvey has come forward to explain how such a record was set. "It's quite simply down to the fans at the club," said former...
Altrincham Football Club who ply their trade in the Conference North, two promotions away from the football league, have been discovered attempting to manipulate the Golden Boot to ensure at least one trophy goes to Altrincham this season. "Basica...
In a pre-match interview with the Shaymen's website, manager of Conference North team Halifax Town, Neil Aspin, has admitted that he would leave Halifax Town at the drop of a hat should he be offered the England job. With Fabio Capello due to step...
First they were called Hyde United, but the United was dropped when Hyde were given pots of cash by Manchester City for sponsorship and use of their stadium. Now Hyde are set to change their name again. "We never dropped the United from our name w...
The Blue Square Conference, non-league's highest tier, is to lead the way with new 'Smart Balls'. Made by Fila, these balls are the latest in intelligent sports gear. As well as being perfectly spherical, the balls promise to aid referees in some...
Bishops Stortford, the Conference North's most southerly team are slowly adjusting to life being classed as 'Northern'. "There's been a few changes," said Bishops's chief executive, Mannie Handled. "For a start, the proposed sale of land adjacent...
In an effort to force Craig Bellamy to hand in a transfer request, Roberto Mancini has told Bellamy that he must face a series of non-league teams in pre-season friendlies. "I have already told him to play against Altrincham," said Mancini. "To hi...
After searching high and low for a good manager to take over the managing of the Macedonian International squad, the Macedonian FA are rumoured to have gone for Brian Little instead. "I can't help but feel this shows a complete lack of ambition by...
The Conference North, the second tier of non-league football has been expanded to include Bishop Stortford. Bishop Stortford is the town in which London Stanstead Airport is located. "It's a bit ridiculous," said Alan Carlisle, chairman of Working...
The final day of the Conference North saw one of the most interesting clashes take place at Bower Fold, the home of Stalybridge Celtic who were hosting Stafford Rangers. Celtic's nearest rival in the league is Hyde, a mere two miles away. Hyde...
Manager of Stalybridge Celtic, Jim Harvey, admitted his shock when he discovered that the entire team had resigned. "I was told by a text message," Harvey said in a press conference at the club's Bower Fold ground. "Chairman Rob Gorski sent it."...
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