Ron Artest: Man of World Peace

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Monday, 23 April 2012

Metta World Peace sent another unintentional elbow to the NBA headquarters.

After a dozen years of elbowing and other infractions, that is Ron Artest's story--and he's sticking to it.

Having entered a new age where giving a sports opponent a concussion has become the new form of brutality and abuse, Ron Artest remains a traditionalist. He believes in bone to bone crunching.

He still bops with intent to maim and to dominate. Self-baptized as the soul of World Peace, Ron Artest is the leopard that cannot change his spots. Always a thug means never having to say you're sorry (or mean it).

Forget the new medical evidence that knocking the gray matter out of the ears of your opponent is now seen as a one-way ticket to Palookaville.

World Peace seems to live in a world where food chain brutality reigns; it used to be called the Jungle. Now we deem it 'Showtime' in the NBA.

Athletes bopped on the noggin with an elbow may end up with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and on suicide watch, but some pro players continue to dole out the pointed bone to cranium as a means of establishing their manhood.

World Peace in our time means dirty play, outright hypocrisy, and an increase in Twitter followers.

We used to think some dumb jocks just didn't get it. We now know they do get it: a big contract, appearances on the Leno show, an opportunity to give endless mea culpa speeches, and product endorsements.

In the old days, changing your name to present an alter ego to the world used to mean something: sort of like announcing to the world you were a Jekyll and Hyde personality.

We presume Jack the Ripper's real name was not Jack, perhaps it was Ron or Metta.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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