Katie Price In The Running For Chelsea Job

Funny story written by Simon Saunders

Monday, 5 March 2012


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If Katie Price gets the job, Stamford Bridge will painted pink.

Former tits out model Katie Price, AKA Jordan, has thrown her pink hat into the ring by declaring herself interested in succeeding Andre Villas-Boas as Chelsea manager.

The west London club axed AVB after a dismal eight months in charge of the ailing club.

Price, raconteur,renowned author,peerless singer and world class attention seeker claims that her previous experience with high profile footballers, such as Teddy Sheringham and Dwight Yorke, puts her in the perfect position to deal with Chelsea's big name stars.

Earlier today she gave her view on AVB's appointment and outlined her credentials for the job. She said, "If Abramovich had asked for my advice when he fired Carlo Ancelotti I would have told him to avoid Andre Villas-Boas. Everyone knows that people called Andre are useless at everything. Trust me, I known from my own personal experience." She continued, "If he's looking for another young boss, then I'm his woman. I'm a bit younger than AVB, have experience with big names like Sheringham and Yorke and let me tell you, when they didn't understand my bedroom tactics I got shot of them and replaced them with someone who did. That's what Chelsea need and I'm confident I can get those players performing again by using my man management skills. Failing that, I'll just get my tits out. That'll definetely make them respect me."

When asked who she would target in the transfer market, she responded without hesitation. "I would sign veteran Roma striker, Francesco Totti."

Sky pundit, Gary Neville reckons Price has no chance of becoming Chelsea manager. He explained his reasons, " The only female manager of an English football club was in the fictional T.V series 'The Manageress' starring Cherie Lunghi and Warren Clarke. She has no chance. What next?" Pondered the least ugly Neville brother, "A woman for Prime Minister!"

No one from Chelsea football club would comment publicly about the hunt for a new gaffer. However, an anonymous source told us that at the rate Roman Abramovich is going through managers Katie Price can't be far down the list.

Chelsea also announced that they will be releasing a pink away strip for next season. Coincedence? We doubt it.

Meanwhile, Villas-Boas was seen at managerless Tranmere Rovers training ground late last night to discuss terms to become their new boss.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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