Sunday, 26 February 2012

image for Rangers: Craig Whyte Wash in 419 Email Scam
100% Risky Free email from Craig Whyte Wash? NO.... unless you play in the 'Tax Shadows' of course.

New 419 scam email Alert. Whyte offers a 'cut' of the £[insert amount]Million deal. Wee tax bill is the bait.
Disgraced Glasgow Rangers owner(??) Craig Whyte Wash, currently laughing himself all the way to the 'offshore' bank, whilst also 'walking away' [sic] from a potential total £100 Million tax bill by HMRC and indeed possible criminal charges, was at the centre of a new storm once again.

Our (on -Ed) crack news team in the Tax haven of the BVI. (currently under investigation themselves for 'extraneous' elements to their ever increasing expense sheets - fiddling bastards!! -Ed) can exclusively reveal the sickening 419 email is actually from Mr Craig Whyte Wash and not the Clerical Conman named in the email below.

We've all received those '100% risky free!' emails from dead dictators wives, promising us a cut of Millions of $ Dollars, which before his death were 'plundered' into a 'secret' bank vault. In order to release these funds, scammers get victims to send them fees, producing fake documents & tales of woe, as desperate victims are socially engineered into position to keep paying out. More commonly known as a 419 scam after the penal code of the Nigerian authorities that deals with Fraud, more excellent reading on the 'MODALITIES' can be found here

Following is the sensational email that found it's way into our inbox.

Dear Friend,

Season's Greetings to you.

I know my letter may come as a surprise to you, but I am moved to write to you given the exceptionally difficult circumstances in which I find myself.

I am Dis-honourable Dr Reverend Whyte-Wash Craig, founder of The Church of the Disappearing Queens Head [£] in The British Virgin Islands

I write this letter to you in confidence, asking that you may not circulate it in case it should fall into the wrong hands and let the cruel and heartless officials in the UK discover my whereabouts.

You see, I bring to you terrible news that my world has turned upside down, following the somewhat scandalous & callous way in which I have been forced out of my home country by a despicable & brutal Governmental regime.

I have born 9 months of 'torture' in battling the cruel and 'hyena' like HMRC as they doggedly persist in finding the missing Millions owed to them in the Rangers tax case, incidentally which I agreed with SDM to 'take under', sorry 'take on'... take ON' I MEANT 'TAKE ON'.

Despite pledging that 'I don't do walking away', I find myself in the awful position of being 'chauffer driven' this time, with thanks to SDM Cars btw, to yet another failed company owing money.

Most disgustingly, I have found myself in the extremely unfortunate position of 'not being under house arrest in some god forsaken Hole by an Evil regime. Instead, I am busy relaxing on a hot beach, drinking Gin n Tonic, surrounded by other like minded religious people who know how to 'wash away their filthy money' or should I say 'someone else's' rightful money.

Sir, your assistance in this matter is of grave urgency and the utmost secrecy. Kindly keep this to yourself my good friend and the Lord shall bless you with many golden coins.

For I am desperately looking for a reliable partner whom I can trust as I have available the secret £[insert amount] Million pound from the 'wee tax bill' deposited in a 'friends' bank somewhere over the rainbow. However I urgently need your assistance to facilitate the transfer to my private offshore bank. I am willing to give you 30% of that money as payment for your 'efforts'.

Please be aware that there are many scams out there that ask you for funds up front to facilitate deals that probably aren't worth the paper they're written on, ironically similar in price & substance to my £1 takeover of Rangers Football Club 9 months ago, which has unfortunately led to my subsequent demise.

In the first instance, please contact our Solicitors, Collier & Bristows.

BARRISTER Norman Collier, famed for 'missing bits out' and BARRISTER Eric Bristow, famed for being a 'crafty cockney', with details of your inability to keep professional records of names & addresses, the ability to 'shadow direct' wishy washy fake companies and details of tax avoidance collusion partners.

They can be contacted here atarmslengthfromHMRC@yahoo.web

I remain forever at your gratitude in trying to help me out of this terrible terrible hot weather we are having this time of the year.

Your trusted friend,

Rev Whyte Wash Craig

The letter shows the desperation Mr Whyte Wash has to 'cleanse' his money, whilst back home, others are left picking up the pieces of this horrendous situation Rangers football Club & it's supporters find themselves in. For them, we can only hope a way can be found.

The real questions are ... was Whyte brought in as the 'fall guy' for the previous owners 'mismanagement of finances', knowing very well Whyte Wash was 'dodgy'? are they in it together? Is Whyte the only man to blame in all of this? did he try to move up a tier too many from 3nd rate to top notch Sheister and then still think he could bank the money in the glaze of so many headlights?

One day, the truth will out!! ....more as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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