QPR plan dream move to White City

Funny story written by Rebel Not Taken

Wednesday, 12 October 2011


The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for QPR plan dream move to White City
QPR ticket tout Len Lazarus.

The BBC has announced that Television Centre, it's iconic Shepherd's Bush headquarters, is up for sale and QPR are negotiating to purchase the site.

The ambitious Premier League football club plan to build a new stadium at White City to accommodate their growing fan base and attract passing tourists on their way to Wormwood Scrubs and Cookes Pie Mash shop.

"Our new home will be the dog's bollocks" said Ranger's ticket tout Len Lazarus. "We will reinstate greyhound racing and have a bronze statue of Sir Stanley Bowles tearing up a betting slip in the VIP lounge."

QPR enjoyed two glorious spells at the old White City between 1931-1933, and during the 1962-63 season, scoring several goals in those years. The Olympic stadium also featured in the 1973 film Steptoe And Son Ride Again.

Despite having an electric atmosphere on a chilly and foggy November night, the old White City stadium was bulldozed in 1985 after being condemned as 'a dark, damp and dilapidated mausoleum'.

But many Rangers' diehards retain nostalgic memories of the place. "It reminded me of my old woman's growler" admitted QPR fan Arthur Cock, a retired funeral director from East Acton.

With a move to a reincarnated White City looking inevitable, supporters are now scratching their bonces to find a name for their new manor.

Old codgers are hoping it will be called New White City, but a younger generation of fans have their own ideas. "I think it should be called The Dave Stadium" said Dave Ruislip from Ruislip.

There also appears to be a ground swell of support for naming it The Fuck Off Chelsea West London Is Ours Stadium, on the suggestion of Terry Northolt from Northolt.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more