There were 66 spoof news snippets published in August 2022. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
New Russian Map For Schools Shows Ukraine as West Russia
Russia has released new maps for the upcoming school year and they show Ukraine as West Russia. Maybe in a hint to England - they show the United States as West England.
written by UncleDale, 01 August 2022
Immigrants Smuggled Into U.S. In Large Mexican Pizzas
The latest smuggling fad-smuggling small Mexican men in large Double Cheese Pizzas.The border patrol stopped a truck-all seemed OK. They lifted one of the pizzas-seemed heavy, and out fell a Mexican.
written by UncleDale, 02 August 2022
U.S. Democracy in Danger - Brain Dead Voters' Conspiracy Theories
America is in big Doo-Doo. Voters refuse to believe Facts. Lies are the Truth if repeated enough. Wild conspiracy theories go Nationwide online.. And stirring the pot is our favorite dyed Blonde.
written by UncleDale, 02 August 2022
Nancy Pelosi is now offically a 'Good Fortune Cloud'
Nancy Pelosi in Taiwan on business - (our computer chips manufactured there) - was given the 'Order of the Propitious Cloud', by Taiwan's female president. A gold medallion. She's now 'Lucky' Nancy.
written by UncleDale, 03 August 2022
After 24 years - Pornica Lewinsky is Celebrity - as Bill's Mistress
Bright, educated Monica Lewinsky - still makes a living being Bill Clinton's mistress - 24 years Later - thanks to the Republicans. All other female interns said No to him - she said Yes. He's to blame.
written by UncleDale, 03 August 2022
Supreme Court to States - Yes to Abortion Laws - No to Gun Laws
According to new Supreme Court Rulings - states can banish Abortion - but can't Restrict Guns. The 2nd. Amendment is Special for Repubs. You register to vote - but no( state)registration for guns.
written by UncleDale, 04 August 2022
Ex President Trump Now Has White Hair - Clairol?
Trump now has that platinum-widow blonde color. Must have seen it on one the Palm Beach female billionaires. Can't look like an old fart and get re-elected president.
written by UncleDale, 04 August 2022
Lightning Strike Near White House From God, Evangelicals Say
"It's a warning from God for Biden to mend his evil ways - and let Christian prayer into the schools. He should be more Godly, like Trump said another older woman wearing a red MAGA sun hat."
written by UncleDale, 05 August 2022
In U.S. - State of Georgia - Unborn is a $3,000 Tax Break
Georgia - jumping of the Supreme Court Abortion ruling - rules a unborn fetus is a dependent - so gives a $3,000 tax break. If the wife has a miscarriage does the State sue to get tax money back?
written by UncleDale, 05 August 2022
Just When You Thought Trump Couldn't Stoop Any Lower
He stooped lower. On the golf course - picking up a ball - and this huge crack was apparent...Underwear can only take so much pressure.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
Muslim American Journalist Shot in Jerusalem
The United States says Israel has the right to defend itself.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
Snickers Candy Apologizes to China for Calling Taiwan a Country
Snickers gave an abject apology to China for calling Taiwan. a Country (in a Snickers ad). It was Snickergate - and anger all over China. they could have lost All those Chinese Snicker bar chewers.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
Half of Central America Will Move to U.S. - Ivanka Trump
Ivanka was at a Women’s Fashion Show in Hawaii. In her Dad's House - She was fashion coordinator for the illegal immigrant women. Her off the cuff remark caused a furor - and a model fell off the runway.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
Biden Has his Third or Fourth Coronavirus Infection
'The little buggers just seem to like me", he said.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
Kim Kardasian Ended Relationship With 300th Boyfriend
But this morning - there was a long line outside her door of young male hopefuls. She has never had any other career except Boyfriends. Has made of good living that way - and seen much of the world.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
U.S. Republican Run States Will Have No Gynecologists
Due to Banning Abortion, Rich Republican women, needing a woman's doctor, will have to fly to Liberal States - on the same planes with women seeking Abortions - as no Doctors for either - in their states.
written by UncleDale, 06 August 2022
Democracy is Dead-Said Trump's Beautician - Who Dyes his Hair
I'm around Trump and his inner circle daily. You can't have Democracy if one side are deranged political clowns, and the other side acts responsibly - (Climate Bills, etc.). I keep my mouth shut.
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
V.P. Pence Caught Putting 'Dump the Trump' Signs All Over DC
Vice president Pence was caught at by police at 2am, putting up 'Dump the Trump - 2024' signs in suburban Georgetown. The wife was driving the car. Signs had plastered DC for weeks. Now we know.
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
Republicans Don't Like Biden's Energy Bill - But Where is Theirs?
Where is the Republican Climate Bill? - The Republican Energy Bill? The don't have one. Global Warming can't be stopped by Corporate Tax Cuts. The Party of an ignorant man - thinks he is the Greatest.
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
Ivanka Trump's New Fashion Line is Very Ole!
It's based on her work with Female Illegals. Lots of peasant skirts and blouses - big sombrero hats - Flamenco shoes, and silk serapes. "And I developed a life long passion for black beans, " she said.
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
A Tribute to Andrew Dice Clay
Hickory Dickory Dock
I came into a sock
I shot a big load
It looked like a toad
Now the sock goes hippity hop.
written by Ana Sian, 07 August 2022
Italy and France - Due to Drought - To Restore Roman Water Viaducts
Long Ago, Italy and France once long Roman Viaducts bringing water to cities. A French engineer said - 'the Romans were clever engineers - when not bloodily conquering everyone in sight - even England".
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
New Product - Abortion Phones - Will Lie for You
Live in a Dictatorial Conservative state? Thinking of an Abortion? Or Pills? Get an Abortion Phone - the Republican police in your state will think you are only ordering cheese Trays. Or puppy chow.
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
China is the Cookie Monster
China, after gobbling up Hong Kong and Shanghai now is looking at that tempting treat Taiwan. it's been hungry for the Island a long time. Ever since it stole the country of Tibet in the 1950's.
written by UncleDale, 07 August 2022
Biden Really is the 'Father of our Country'
He really cares about people when there are disasters. Trump was more like your visiting Mafia Uncle - wanting the ring kissed constantly.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
Trump and Rupert Murdoch Aren't Dating Anymore
The older Far Right Fox has dropped his simple minded friend - and is now casting eyes at young, clever lawyer Ron De Santis. Budding dictator of Florida - who trashes anything that smells of Democracy.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
Alex Jones - The Infowars Guy - Does Hate for a Living
Now he all upset that he has to pay Money to the parents of a dying child - who he said was an actor in a mass shooting. He was a Mass Shooting Denier - made big bucks, and now is pissing and moaning.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
Can British Petroleum Pay More Taxes?
When you make $6 Billion in Profit - can't you pay some taxes? - or a teensy bit more taxes? To help out the British people? Parliament - financed by BP - will look into it someday.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
Dr. Futuro Sees the 2024 Elections with His Futuroscope
It's Debate time in 2024. Biden with his Secrets Service bicyclists circling the stage - comes out to the podium. Trump with his Security detail of Miss Universe Finalists comes out the other side.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
Rapper Commentery on Ukraine War
Turkey gets Grain... Ukraine Gets Pain.
Russia no Gain… Cause Putin no Brain.
Young soldiers die… for Putin Pie in Sky.
Germany an Ass… Over Russian Gas.
This too shall Pass.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
UPS will Wait Till a Driver Dies - Before they Put in Airconditioning
Business is business - a spokesman said. The yearly average temp. in the trucks is in July and August about 85 - not that bad. Packages with plastics melt a little. No union - so tough luck.
written by UncleDale, 08 August 2022
First FBI Raid of a President's Home in U.S. History
The FBI raided Trump's Florida home for stolen presidential documents. Trump - our first Don Corleone type president - in NY City with his Mafia Buddies - who helped him build Trump Tower) - was angry.
written by UncleDale, 09 August 2022
Trump Our 'Bad-Boy' President
Just when you think Trump can't sink any lower as a Responsible, Adult human being, Morally or Ethically, he sinks lower. Burying the Wife at the Golf Course takes the Cake.
written by UncleDale, 09 August 2022
Trump Mystified by FBi Raiding His Home - It Was All a Joke
"I was packing,” said Trump - and joking around - and said to Rudy, “Why don't I just take these 15 boxes of Top Secret documents to Mar a Lago. What joke on the FBI!"
written by UncleDale, 09 August 2022
The Biggest Natural Breasts in Are Tennis Retiring
Serena Williams thanked all her fans for supporting her.
"I see all you Bad Boys out there looking at my breasts" she said. "Well, enjoy your last look. They are retiring. Home to Daddy."
written by UncleDale, 09 August 2022
Trump Backed Candidates Try for Congress - 5 Paranoid - 3 Delusional - 4 Hallucinate - See Jesus
All firmly believe Democratic pedophiles, friends of Hillary - had thousands of dead people vote so Biden could win. Trump said so. And the Republican Judges ruling no fraud? Clearly, paid actors.
written by UncleDale, 10 August 2022
Trump's Favorite Crowd Gesture - The Mussolini Fist
The Mussolini Fist is very appropriate as he has Mafia friends in NY City who helped to build his New York City Buildings - (and made lots of money). One of these guys was campaigned with him in 2016.
written by UncleDale, 10 August 2022
Horrible Floods in Kentucky - For Last 200 Years
Republican governor has no interest in relocating people away from the rivers but sends his Prayers. And no flood barriers along rivers. "Our money has to take care of the racehorses” - said Governor.
written by UncleDale, 10 August 2022
U.S. Now has Two Seasons- Drought and Floods.
Two thirds of the Country have now had two seasons - Drought and Floods. It's God's Will. It has nothing do with using huge amounts of Oil. "We need more Oil to fight Global Warming" - said an oil man.
written by UncleDale, 10 August 2022
Sesame Street Under Pressure from Right - Increases Diversity
New character - Orange Elmo (Elmo's cousin), fat, white, has orange hair - wears a red 'Orange is Greatest' Hat - is troublemaker - Lies a lot to the other characters, and wears a toy gun at all times.
written by UncleDale, 10 August 2022
Trump Knows Nothing About Stolen Documents-to Sell Later For Money.
Trump said - "I know nothing about 15 boxes of top-secret papers and Letters, at Mar - a - Lago - with my Signatures - that could later be sold for big money as Presidential Memorabilia. Ivanka did it."
written by UncleDale, 10 August 2022
Flordia Gov. DeSantis - When Global Warming Happens, We Will Deal with Problem
At the first sign of Florida becoming a series of Islands - due to Global Warming - the Legislature and myself will spring into Action. Till then, all money will be spent luring Corporations to Florida.
written by UncleDale, 11 August 2022
Trump Drinks a Fifth - Then Takes the Fifth in NY City Deposition
"You know I have never drank before in my life,” said Trump. “Because I always had the pull or money to avoid Court. It was great stuff. That Janis Joplin had the right idea about Southern Comfort."
written by UncleDale, 11 August 2022
In NY City Deposition - Trump Pleaded the Fifth 440 Times
Trump even Pleaded the Fifth on his name- 'I don't remember'.
After that-asked what Time it was, he pleaded the Fifth-"you are trying to trick, aren't you?
Opinion - Possible BigMacitis of the brain
written by UncleDale, 11 August 2022
Trump Thinks about Destroying Biden
"Whenever Biden achieves something Good-I swamp him with my Bad Boy publicity. He hasn't a Chance. I have done so much Bad Shit, I can keep him buried and out of off the News till 2024".
Biden Who?
written by UncleDale, 12 August 2022
New Crime in the World- Russia Holding a Nuke Power Plant Hostage
Russia is occupying the biggest nuke power in Europe - in Ukraine. They built it - so will probably destroy it when leaving. This is the first new Crime invented in years - Nuke Hostage taking.
written by UncleDale, 12 August 2022
Top Secret Doc's Found Found In Triump's Bathroom at Mar a Lago.
The FBI went in to with a legal Search warrant, and they found the suspected pile of documents in Trump's bathroom. They were next to the toilet, and no toilet paper was in the room.
written by UncleDale, 12 August 2022
Ferret News - Gestapo FBI Kicked Down Door at Mar-a-Lago
Mar-A - Lago was trashed-the porno room wrecked. This is worse than Hitler. the Raid-all for No Good Reason. Just because Trump had the Capitol trashed. This was Democratic Pay-back says Tucker.
written by UncleDale, 12 August 2022
China and Africa Main Source of Viruses - CDC
China - because they sleep with their farm animals.
Africa - because they stripping the jungles of all animals - they are so hungry - and they multiply like mad.
written by UncleDale, 12 August 2022
Right Wing Female English Professor Impaled by Anti Trump Sign
A woman stole an anti-Trump sign from a neighbor and threw it away. The Wind caught it and blew it back and impaled her. She fell down - "hoisted by my own Petard" she said and died.
written by UncleDale, 12 August 2022
Doctors Acknowledge That 'Monkey Pox' Is A Silly Name For A Virus So They've Renamed It...
...'Bumpy Yuckies'.
written by Stefano M. Stefano, 12 August 2022
Nude Pics. of Stormy Daniels Found In Trump's Safe By FBI
One had an inscription on the back - "You are still the best, Donnie, Wonnie, and signed with a surprising graceful Large S. (P. S. - I think the Wife knows”) - continued the inscription.
written by UncleDale, 13 August 2022
Big Floods in Las Vegas - As in Other Parts of the Country
Gamblers were flooded right out into the streets clutching Roulette Wheels - still trying to make bets. Chorus girls were up to their G strings in flood waters - but rescued by young firefighters.
written by UncleDale, 13 August 2022
Putin Laughing Ass Off at America Being Destroyed By Conservatives
Getting Donaldski elected President was worth 20 battalions of Russian Troops. Only problem - him not getting re - elected. If he'd been re - elected - I would Own Ukraine by now. Now, have to fight Biden.
written by UncleDale, 14 August 2022
Trump to Franchise Wife Burials at Golf Courses
This will open a new source of income for all golf courses, (and Trump). Rates will vary, depending on what Hole you want to bury the wife next to. Budget burials will be next to the Putting Greens.
written by UncleDale, 14 August 2022
Monkey Pox to be Renamed said World Health Organization.
They feel Primate Pox is more dignified. Tarzan's pox was popular - (blame it on the white guy). King Leopold's Congo pox - for historical reasons. The oddball French wanted 'Le lesions Dangereuse'
written by UncleDale, 14 August 2022
A Family Owes Many Millions and Won't Pay their Bills
Part of the Family wants to pay off the Debt-the other half screams No-so they just keep spending. One day the Debt. Will Bankrupt the Family. This is our Crazy, No Taxes Ever Conservative Congress.
written by UncleDale, 14 August 2022
Foxy U.S.Weather Forcast July-August, 2022
There is a big disturbance near Mar-a-Lago....Might become a major Storm later this month..
This Disturbance has already caused numerous small violent storms all over the country.
written by UncleDale, 15 August 2022
Ukraine Grain Goes to Africa - it's Never Enough
A UN official said - "we are puzzled. We send tons of grain to Africa - - save them from starvation. Then they get healthy - have big families. Then - famine - again - we send more Aid. Puzzling and never ending.
written by UncleDale, 15 August 2022
Miller High Life Makes an Ice Cream Bar that Tastes like a Really Shitty Beer
The Ice cream makers - in retaliation - are going to start making Alcoholic ice creams.
written by UncleDale, 16 August 2022
Jesus was Kicked out of Pub for Drunkeness
Brazilian Soccer player, Jesus tres Santos, was kicked out of the Bull and Scrotum in Daftsdale for Drunkeness and arguing about Gays in Soccer. 100% Hetero in Britain-100% Hetero in Soccer.
written by UncleDale, 16 August 2022
Prince Charles Revealed
Charles was in Scotland,and a gust of wind lifted his Kilt and revealed his shocking secret. He doesn't wear British underwear-but had those Ball lifting American Jockey Shorts. Camilla's Influence?
written by UncleDale, 16 August 2022
Barbie Co. has Developed a Barbie Doll Wearing Hearing Aids
For those little hearing-impaired girls out there (all two of you). What girls want are breast implant dolls - where they can give a Barbie bigger and bigger breast - just like the neighborhood girls.
written by UncleDale, 17 August 2022
Liz Cheney Can't be Elected in her Own State-but will Run for President 2024.
Good Luck.....delusional Liz Cheney...
written by UncleDale, 17 August 2022
How Far Right Can the Republican Party Go?
Trump and other Republicans currently give the Mussolini 'Fist' Salute at Republican events and rallies.
written by UncleDale, 19 August 2022
The Stupid Republicans Wake Up-Extreme Conservatives End up Delusional Fascists
Mr. Donald Trump gives the "Mussolini Fist Bump' at rallies-his new thing.
Since Reagan-every year-the Republican Party has gone further and further Right-and are entering Mussolini territory.
written by UncleDale, 21 August 2022
