Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Monday, 16 January 2017

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Famed attorney Beth Cassandro will represent Melania Trump in the divorce.

Donald Trump has set precedent after precedent on his way to the White House, now it seems he will be the first sitting president to get a divorce.

According to a close friend of the First Lady, Melania Trump cited Donald's womanizing and bullying behavior as the reason she is filing for divorce.

The friend, who wishes to remain anonymous, filled in more details of the impending Trump divorce when talking to this reporter.

"Melania believed Donald when he said she would be deported if she divorced him, it was only after I had her contact an attorney that she realized Donald filled her head with lies. She even believed he could divorce her if she gained too much weight, and partly that's why she put on the three pounds during the campaign, because deep down she has wanted to get away from him for years."

President Trump went on a Twitter rampage denying Melania's claims, saying she was a fake wife anyway.

Donald J. Trump ?@realDonaldTrump My other wives were more real, without going in to more detail I'll just say Melania is from Transylvania.

Donald J. Trump ?@realDonaldTrump Melania will never ever get Trump Tower, my lawyers are the best.

Our source told this reporter Melania will not be leaving Trump Tower once Donald leaves for the White House. If so, and Trump Tower remains her primary residence, Melania actually will have a strong legal claim to it in the divorce. Also, according to the friend, Melania is going to paint Trump Tower pink and rename it Vagina Castle in revenge for his bad treatment of her.

"It's such a part of his ego and she is so mad, so she wants to get him where it will hurt the most besides taking his money, but she'll only get a hundred million because of the pre-nup."

Donald Trump's attorney, Mac Fullek, filed several motions in court: First to bar Melania from changing anything at Trump Tower, and a second motion was filed to have Melania's attorney Beth Cassandro dismissed because of conflict of interest issues. According to Fullek, the fact that Cassandro is representing several class action lawsuits against Donald Trump should disqualify Cassandro from representing Melania Trump in the divorce.

Cassandro publicly laughed off the accusations of a conflict of interest outside of a Nevada brothel/Taco Bell, where a judge denied Fullek's motion before returning to filling orders at the drive-thru.

"If the judge disqualified every attorney who is suing Donald Trump for something, my client would never be able to find representation."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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