Taylor Swift to Become Nun
In startling news today, Taylor Swift announced that she was tired of the whole dating and music scene and was joining a convent. "It's strange," said her mom, "because we're not even Catholic."
written by Al N., 14 January 2014
Double Dutch idiot in the UK!
After thieves nicked a UK man's cannabis plants, the idiot called the police to inform them of his loss, he is now doing time and is feeling not quite as high as before the theft, no wonder Dumbo!
written by unknown
Welsh "Blarney Stones" unveiled
In an effort to attain the popularity of Ireland as a tourist destination, the Prince of Wales has unveiled a set of "Jones Stones" which can be kissed to improve bullshitting skills.
written by Auntie Jean, 14 January 2014
Suntory Holdings Buys Jim Beam, Plans to rename it Chim Bweam
What?
written by mikewadestr, 14 January 2014
Tragedy In Las Vegas
A stage magician died while performing in Vegas & left over a dozen people crowing, crapping in seats thinking they're laying eggs, walking around like Mick Jagger. Two days of trying hasn't helped.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
Al Gore Back in Rehab
Still making presidential acceptance speech in front of mirrors, to his cats and dogs, hires locals to listen.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
Wal-Mart to Abdicate from United States, Form Own Country
Wal-Mart announced today that they are sick and tired of all the complaints about their predatory pricing, anti-union attitudes, not giving their employees benefits, etc. Therefore, they are seceding.
written by Al N., 14 January 2014
U.S., Russia call for trust-building ahead of Syria talks, spar over whether to invite Iran
Name calling goes on for hours until someone turns the lights out!
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
Dead Whale Found on Uruguay Beach Buried
Over one hundred Greenpeace workers lend a hand to get the big guy buried properly.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
Scientists announce first results from LUX dark matter detector #2
Wasn't this on the second of the three "Back To The Future" trilogy?
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
Scientists announce first results from LUX dark matter detector
Finally! I was wondering if this would ever get done. Now what is it that they done did?
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
Tips to stop procrastination habits
Let's see. Number one... Oh, let's just do that next week. A good time to remember on Martin Luther King Holiday.
written by Bureau, 14 January 2014
