True Facts From Snoops #619
According to Snoops: In recent NSA reports released to the public, the old black & white televisions were programed to keep an eye on your family and reporting it back to J. Edgar Hoover.
True Facts From Snoops #531
According to Snoops: On his own birth certificate, Donald Trump's name is listed as "Donald Turnip".
Pensioners Delighted At Cameron's Pension Pledge
'It's great news,' said a typical pensioner. 'We now need an anti-whinging law to shut those younger workers up.'
written by Swan Morrison, 05 January 2014
2014 Super Bowl may be the most challenging in history
May as well get used to Global Cooling. See what they are wearing in Minnesota or Buffalo.
"Face the Nation" celebrates 60th year on air
I thought that went off the air 20-30 years ago. Don't know anyone that watches it that I can name. Is Bonanza still on?
Last Night on Earth
Visitor to Royal Observatory tweets "Since I had it re-set, my watch keeps good time."
written by Brent Scorn, 05 January 2014
Romney accepts MSNBC host's apology
Even with one of President's guards holding her hand up behind her back.
Obama flies back to Washington - without Michelle
"Oh, she's still got her knickers in a wad over that Denmark Prime Minister", says friend who needs money.
Arctic birds seen in Florida
Florida reporting unusual low temperatures. Birds now eyeing equator islands.
49ers, Packers brace for crazy cold.
49ers have been taking cold showers all week. Packers run in snow wearing jockey shorts.
Some States Confirm Water Pollution From Drilling, Tobacco
While parts of Idaho and western states show some pollution from fracking, Kentucky, Tennessee & West Virginia have mixture of used tobacco juice.
Plane lands on Bronx highway
Given the old Bronx Cheer by motorists scattering all over the highway!
Malware attack hits Yahoo users
I only went there once today so I should be OK. Bureau smells like a monkeys ass.
NFL fined Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch $50,000 for not speaking to media throughout this season!
Pope Francis checking to see if Monks or Nuns guilty of this foul crime also!
Are We Losing Freedom of Non-Speech?
This week NFL fined Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch $50,000 for not speaking to media throughout this season!
Rift threatens atheist church
Apparently not all non-believers don't believe the same thing!
Global Warming Experts Hiding Out Till Spring
Record-breaking cold possible across two-thirds of the U.S. Cars froze to the ground. Several Global Warming experts caught by mad citizens and made to stick tongues to flag poles.
Cubans aghast at car prices as new law kicks in
Nine hundred dollars for a 1973 Ford Pinto? That's ridiculous!
Family Welcomes Rare Set of Siamese Cousins
"This could only happen in Arkansas", say two proud couples.
Obama gives first lady a few more days in Hawaii as part of her 50th birthday present
"She can have the whole week if she'll forget that Danish Prime Minister!"
U.S. breaker to help Russian, Chinese ships stuck in Antarctic ice
Al Gore still not seen now in several days. Reportedly, he is in "Protective Custody".
Kerry: US will support Iraq, but without trollops
I'm sorry. That should have been: Kerry: US will support Iraq, but without troops!
Kerry says Israel, Palestinians making progress on peace 'puzzle'
"We have connected three pieces that were on one side", says Kerry.
Plane skids off runway into snow at NYC's JFK Airport; no injuries reported
Although several who skid out on emergency slide are going back in and sliding out again!
True Facts From Snoops #678
According to Snoops: The most popular tree in the United States is the Popular Tree!
True Facts From Snoops #779
According to Snoops: One way to discover if a bragging guy was ever in the armed services is to ask him if he's ever seen the movies, Spittoon" or "Searching For Ryan's Privates"?
True Facts From Snoops #047
According to Snoops: 98% of all main dishes in Switzerland have cheese in them. The other two percent, cheese topping is available!
True Facts From Snoops #819
According to Snoops: One of Barnum & Bailey's biggest draws was a man with two penises but peed through his big toes, dead at age of 76.
Secret court approves three more months of spying for NSA
"After that, our satellites should be able to take over."
Woman gives birth at WALMART.
Can't decide if she will call it Marty or Wally.
Actor Steven Seagal Considering Run For Arizona Governor. #2
"That's where all the money is today", according to Seagal.
Actor Steven Seagal Considering Run For Arizona Governor.
And if present Governor don't get a move on fast, he'll not be able to run against anybody!
Chris Christie Rushed to Hospital
Sorry. It turned out to be big turtle from the zoo named Chris Christie. Reporter claims he only got a glimpse.
Governors, Mayors from several states ask neighbors to check on neighbors during extreme cold!
But White House and Congress completely silent.
Nancy Pelosi Upset With Posters
Group say they will post how many patients dying from Obamacare.
Frustrated patients walk out of hospitals without treatment.
Catch planes for India or cross border into Mexico.
Update: Coast Guard Now trying to Free Trapped Ships in Ice
Lots of carbon footprints left from group who originally went there to protest Global Warming.
Man burns down house as he tries thawing frozen lines with hairblower
"Well, I did light a small fire", he admits. "Boy, we were all warm there for awhile!"
FROSTBITE in Minutes
Kids warned not to go out and play with Frosty the Snowman, no matter how much he dances or rude gestures he makes.
RECORD Cold closes schools in midwest!
"Doors all frozen shut", says Governor of Ohio. "Bus doors also."
Speaker of the House Boehner Tells Rest of Republicans to Shun Tea Partiers
"That Tea Party hooey is so over," spoke Speaker of the House John Boehner. "Everybody is hereby instructed to shun those bozos-they're even too crazy for us!"
written by Al N., 05 January 2014
Don Everly to Continue as "Everly Brother"
Don Everly, on the death of his brother Phil, announced that he would continue touring as the 'Everly Brother.' "It should be easier to put on the marquee without the extra s, said Don.
written by Al N., 05 January 2014
True Facts From Snoops #444
According to Snoops: The 'Macarena' dance craze was invented in Central America after a grounds keeper ran over a yellow jackets nest with a lawnmower!
True Facts From Snoops #1010
According to Snoops: During the early '60's, The Andy Griffith Show scriptwriters were forced to leave out the term "Up & Down" by censors, even though it was about an elevator.
True Facts From Snoops #1004
According to Snoops: The World's Tallest Midget was just under five-foot eleven inches tall!
True Facts From Snoops #622
According to Snoops: Mel Gibson is learning Hebrew! "I want to know what they're saying about me."
True Facts From Snoops #083
According to Snoops: The state of Kentucky got it's name from the Cherokee word, meaning "Kentucky".
Let's Jail People For Being Fat
Provided the floor structures at jails and prisons would hold the weight.
NYC Mayor de Blasio revels in role as 'man of the people'
I'm just a guy like most of you. I'll be out there with the white trash and the mentally ill just like one of the common people. "I-I-I am everyday people! Boom boom! Miss old Sly Stone."
Man's blood alcohol content too high for police to measure
"Let's just say he had more alcohol in his veins than blood", says arresting officer.