Cancellation notices soar above enrollment rates.
We don't know what we are buying, when and if it will ever exist", says one who has withdrawn from Obamacare.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
NSA Monitored Calls of 35 World Leaders
Russia suggests that U.S. communications satellites be brought down. No word from President, although most are expecting "It's not my fault" any day now.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Dummy data file on Healthcare.gov includes Star Wars, Transformers characters.
Hackers say they are completely innocent.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
U.S. Planning Stricter Control of Widely Used Painkillers
"We're going back to plain old alcohol. You have a dental, get loaded...but get a designated driver."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
School Kids Must Use Big Pencils Used 50 Years Ago
Pres. Obama has told schools to lose sharp pencils as they could be used as a weapon. "We're going back to those big flat ones used years ago, the ones you write with that balance on your shoulder."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Obamacare worker fired after taking calls from Hannity..
Operators have since received over 1,000 calls claiming they are Hannity or Mrs Hannity.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Things We Didn't Know About the Fungal Outbreak
That we could get it from Green Party Initiation. That you could get it from wiping your tail with leaves while camping. What else have they not told us?
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Wife of Man Who Traded Wedding Band for Beer Doesn't Want Ring Back
"I got it from my boyfriend's nose while he was passed out a few years back."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Obamacare Website Contractors Shirk Blame for Foul-Up
"Let him take the blame for himself for a change. After all, he's the one in charge!"
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Baltimore Hooters girl says her hair color got her fired
No kidding!? Is this the human resource management of a corporation that makes women wear practically nothing with their breasts hanging out, while coercing them to flirt with ugly old guys?!
written by Samuel Vargo, 24 October 2013
Asteroid that whizzed by the Earth to rebound in 19 years
NASA says not to worry, the rock's chance of hitting Earth is only one in 63,000, much greater than the chance of winning a state lottery (one in 175 million).
written by Samuel Vargo, 24 October 2013
One-third of American adults get their news from Facebook
- Which leads us to believe most think the world is flat and that the Tea Party is not the 'Stark-Raving Serious LSD Party'
written by Samuel Vargo, 24 October 2013
Despite billions in aid, Afghans can't find work!
Meanwhile, here in the United States, trillions of dollars on welfare and able-bodied people still cannot find work.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Energy Companies Heed Advice Of The Archbishop Of Canterbury To Behave Ethically In Relation To Price Increases
'We have decided to be totally honest with consumers,' said an energy industry spokesman, 'and admit that the price hikes are driven by pure greed, and that we don't give a shit about any of them.'
written by Swan Morrison, 24 October 2013
True Facts From Snoops #331
According to Snoops: The first cell phones weighed thirty pounds and you had to carry them around in a suitcase with rollers.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
You won't believe what's in U.S. rivers
Chemical dumping has created two-headed 1200-pound catfish. 'No Swimming' signs going up everywhere.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Cleveland Indians ask for opinion on 'Wahoo' logo!
"We could change it to 'Geronimo!!!", says spokesman.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
President Obama Makes Request
"During speeches, please stop yelling 'We Agree!' before I make any statements."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
VP Biden: Country on cusp of mental health changes
"But it won't work until all of us are voted out of the madhouse in Washington."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Website contractors blame Obama administration
"Half the calls that finally make it through have no understanding of what they are calling about. Plus our own answer service haven't read it either."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Shape of Babies in X-rays Change Scientists Minds
"We now believe that humans began as sea horses."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
University: Cowboys, Indians and sombreros 'offensive' for Halloween
Also animals, turbans, anything other than George Bush, Cheney and Nixon! "Then forget the candy", reply kids in area. "We'll just attack WalMart in force!"
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Israel clashes with USA over Iran nukes.
Ron Paul: There go the last two friends we had. Thank you, Washington!
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
US-Saudi Crackup Reaches Dramatic Tipping Point.
Obama still refusing to give them a $5 tip on each barrel.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
NSA Apparently Bugged Obama
FBI agents find that the President's teleprompter has been bugged. Sources agree that caused the sudden yelling of "Heil Obama!" outburst Tuesday.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Germany, France unite in anger over spying
For the first time in recorded history they have agreed on anything.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Biden Blames China
"It's all China's fault for not lending us enough money."
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
SICK: Millions of Americans Losing Health Plans.
Plans for suing Washington for over 50 trillion dollars as lawyers rub hands together in glee.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Pelosi: 'Just fix it'.. 'Just fix it'..."jut plix shit!"
Has to be removed and sent to local hospital while still screaming, "George Bush Doing It!"
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
THE HEARINGS: Health care site contractor to give testimony.
Many blame those studying rooms full of monkeys trying to type Shakespeare on computers tying up all the lines.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Lots of Doctors Pointing Fingers at Obamacare Mess
Especially Proctologists who use middle finger.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
Thefts of hair die
After the discovery of a blonde girl in the Roma camps, Greek police have reported an increase in the shoplifting of black hair dye.
written by IainB, 24 October 2013
Coming Soon: The Colorado Bunnies
Hugh Hefner has hinted that he is considering moving The Playboy Mansion to Colorado for the obvious reason.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Mr. Goombalini, Where Are The Fishing Rods?
Brooklyn Mob boss Salvatore Goombalini stated he's had just about enough of Senator Ted Cruz's playground bully tactics and he's sent him a message inviting him to go fishing in the East River.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
In Search of Sleeping Beauty
If it's true that sleep can make a woman beautiful then Chelsea Handler will need to spend about 21 hours a day sleeping.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Gordon Ramsay May Be Syria Bound
Chef Gordon Ramsay has said that he wants to produce a version of Hell's Kitchen in Damascus, Syria with the losers being incarcerated in prison for two months.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Johnny Depp Admits That He's Theatrically Traumatized
Johnny Depp still not over the box office failure of his movie The Lone Ranger says he starts shaking whenever he smells popcorn.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Will The Real Salma Hayek Please Stand Up
Actress Salma Hayek, who is from Mexico, recently said she totally got rid of her Spanish accent five years ago, but her personal agent asked her to start using it again because it made her sexy.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
The New And Improved Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson stated that he is thrilled at the fact that he has finally learned to control his temper and proudly boasts that he has not bitten anyone in 6 months.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Clint Eastwood Ain't No Dirty Harry
Clint Eastwood, the 83-year-old chair talker, was asked if he plans to marry again as soon as his divorce is final. He replied, "I'm married?"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
The Somali Pirates and The North Korean Rice Raiders
The Somali Pirates have contacted North Korean loose cannon leader Kim Jong Un about joining forces and reeking havoc all over that part of the world.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
Sofia Vergara Would Definitely Disagree With Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson has remarked that what she lacks in the boob department she makes up with her fantastic smile.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 24 October 2013
REPORT: U.S. Spent $3.7 Trillion on Welfare Over Last 5 Years.
However, nearly 200 people managed to get off welfare and go back to work!
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
$500 Per Gallon of Gas in Afghanistan.
"At least that thins out the car bombings", says Afghan President Hamid Karzai.
written by Bureau, 24 October 2013
