More Rolling Stones Fans Have Had Enough
"It was bad enough when Keith Richards says he snorted his dad's ashes a few years ago, but this Mick Jagger playing with ashes in Etch-A-Sketch is the breaking point."
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Good Breeder Though
Owners of the race horse "Ass Watcher" already pulled from next Spring's Kentucky Derby.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Saudis Want Iran Disarmed
Saudi Prince warns of Mideast nuclear arms race if Iran not stopped. "Could get out of hand. Take out a lot of oil facilities. Bring Worldwide depression. Destroy the whole earth. Maybe even worse."
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Japan Still Honors The Elderly
Beatlemania is alive and well! Paul McCartney mobbed by hundreds of fans as he arrives in Japan...wearing a kimono!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #757
According to Snoops: The "Saddleback" Church in California is named after the winner of the 1929 Preakness and Kentucky Derby but lost at the Belmont Stakes.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1144
According to Snoops: After a ten year study, a consumer group says that the free one you get is usually worth only 75% of the one you actually buy.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
U.S. Spying Game Getting Completely Out of Hand
Hatfields say they have been hacked by McCoys but McCoys say they found Hatfield bugs in their barn.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Wind Turbines Blamed in Deaths of 600,000 Bats in '12.
Wind power could give us 2% of energy, one quadrillion more crop-destroying bugs. Al Gore, Come on Down!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Nigerian army clashes with Boko Haram in Kano
"Sounds like these guys have changed a lot since "Whiter Shade of Pale", suggests Joe Biden.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Man bolts through airport checkpoint, boards empty plane
Demands that he be taken to Alpha Centauri! "I'm ready. Where no man has been! Light the rockets!"
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
S.F. programmers build alternative to HealthCare.gov
"Everybody's got a plan!", yells President who is trying hard to remain sane.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Youth Makes Old Trooper Sick!
Veteran's Home resident objects to youth wearing ear, nose & lip studs. "That sort of thing went out with "The Lowell Thomas Specials" 70 years ago. What next, saucers to stretch their lower lips?"
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Dubuisson Leads by Live Turkey in the Woods in the Mix
I'm sorry. That should be 'Dubuisson Leads by Five in Turkey; Woods in the Mix'.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Chris Christie charging ahead in NJ and beyond
On the heavy heels of the late President William Howard Taft!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
4 Thieves Charged With Cutting Off Marijuana Dispensary Owner's Penis.
All others close their dispensaries down. Some found in fetal position by police who promised protection.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
US/Iran Talks Strain Mideast Alliances.
Saudi Arabia, Qatar: "And exactly when were you going to tell US, when Iranians attacked the oil rigs?"
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
French Socialist Administration Tougher on Iran than Obama Administration
In fact, the Iranians are laughing and talking about the American Foreign Legion!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
......."I want my Mummy!"
Woman tries to sell baby in Airport toilet....or, as it is known in the trade: a bog standard deal!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 09 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #117
According to Snoops: While as estimated 96% of all males have peed outside in the dark, only 2% have had their stream hit an electric fence!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
.."BEHOLD THE EYES IN THE SKY!"
A one-ton research satellite will crash to Earth on Sunday night........hopefully it's satnav will locate Number 10 Downing Street OK!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 09 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #1006
According to Snoops: The record for appearing on the cover of Newsweek magazine is 129, by President Obama. The magazine then went belly up.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Another teen girl arrested for cyberbullying
According to little pimply gassy wart hog like teen pansy.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Goodbye, good riddance trans fats
Hellllooooo natural organic Lard!!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
CBS: 'We were wrong' on Benghazi
Also, 92% of all our other reports. That still beats NBC!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Obamacare rattles Democratic nerves
Also, it happens just as most of them lost their insurance for Valium, Xanax.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Paying Too Much for Health Care? How to Lower Your Medical Costs.
Experts now saying drop all major illness policies and get info on doctors and hospitals in India, Mexico.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
New U.S. rules require equal insurance coverage for mental ills
Washington DC to declare mental illness for a group policy.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #98
According to Snoops: Adolf Hitler's reported last words were "Now I vill blow out all 102 candles."
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #3336
According to Snoops: The original theme for "Rocky" was "Tiptoe Through The Tulips!"
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Doctors Say Measles, Mumps Making Frightening Comeback.#2
Scientists say Chicken Pox may have merged with Chicken Flu, having mumps while obesity could cause human to explode.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Doctors Say Measles, Mumps Making Frightening Comeback.
Also, old time bellyaches causing record runs!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
President: It's still not my fault
"Everyone in the world is hating us but it's not my fault." Eyeballs VP Joe Biden!
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
REPORT: 52 million Americans have lost or will lose health insurance.
Along with every other failure of Washington, they are expecting an average of a million man march every weekend all through next summer. Vendors delighted.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Whoopi Goldberg: It's Official
Whoopi Goldberg has announced that it is official. She has replaced Phyllis Diller.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
Right Wing's Surge Rattles Europe.
Left Wing surge rattles the United States. Everyone else just rattled.
written by Bureau, 09 November 2013
2014 GOP Candidate only wants votes...Not Money
South Carolina 2014 GOP candidate Nancy Mace is asking for constituents to vote for her and not to bother contributing to her campaign. She wants to run as a clean candidate and not a money candidate.
written by Heeke, 09 November 2013
2014 Democratic Senator Does Not Trust Illegal Immigrants
Senater Max Baucaus (D) stated that he won't vote for amnesty for illegals because they broke the law to come here and feels that they won't abide by the laws if given amnesty.
written by Heeke, 09 November 2013
