New labels show meat's path to plate
"But I don't think you would want to eat it once you read it", says restaurant manager.
UN climate talks on 'brink of collapse'
We're being snowed under by red tape and people showing their "credentials", says one representative.
True Facts From Snoops #812
According to Snoops: Charles Manson and Mr. Rogers once worked together at a Huddle House Restaurant.
True Facts From Snoops #424
According to Snoops: There is no Native American word for "Crackerjacks".
Just Trying To Give A Little Extra
Local Chiropractor gets into trouble as word gets out that he throws in a plague shot in the hip for nothing.
Massive, meat-eating predatory dinosaur unearthed
Diggers hastily try to cover him back up but he jumped out and boy was he hungry!
Three Thugs Knocked Out Cold, Hospitalized
Man they were planing to knock out saw what was coming and hired Ninja to wear his clothes down the alley.
Honeymoon Bound Couple Run Off the Road
Apparently groom took a couple of purple pills just after the ceremony and exploded. First night spent at hospital. Docs say: Read the Instructions!
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear #7
Inventor says he is now working on that "Sound" problem!
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear #6
"Now we can have all the Mexican food we want!" Bring on the burritos!
George W. Bush's artwork up for sale.
Might have just the place on that refrigerator for it!
BREAKING NEWS: LAX - Los Angeles Airport
In an effort to put an end to false gun reports at LAX, all ticket carrying passengers will now be issued their own AK-47's and the authority to deal with any situation as they see fit.
written by Wire Piddle, 23 November 2013
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear #5
"Hey lady. Your little pine tree is hanging out the back of your pants!"
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear #4
"Smells like somebody just shit a Christmas tree in here!"
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear #3
Most asked question on elevators now will be, "Did the Avon Lady die or what?"
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear #2
Instead of hearing, "Who cut the cheese?", you'll be hearing, "Who cut the roses?".
Finally: Fume-filtering underwear
Warning: Smell of roses may make you inhale so strongly that your insides curdle!
Thanksgiving might feel like Christmas or Vice Versa!
If snow comes early or if guy in red suit brings you a gift that's a Turkey for Christmas.
Democrats in Senate Vote to Nix Filibusters Except Supreme Court Nomonees
Vote immediately filibustered by Republicans!
First Gay Marriage Counselor Opens Office
"I didn't charge the first couple because they helped decorate it."
Former Veterinarian: Some Vets Sell Unnecessary Shots, Tests
"But then, so do human doctors to get a kickback from specialist.
Second Most Famous Assassin?
Who is the world's number two most famous assassin after Lee Harvey Armstrong? "Harry The Rat", who scared elephant Hannibal was riding through the Alps!
U.N. climate talks blocked as nations battle over finance
"Better to move inland a ways than for the whole world's economy to collapse", says one spokesman.
True Facts From Snoops #224
According to Snoops: According to a new statement by a soldier who was present, Saddam Hussein was found squeezed up in a rabbit hole. "We had already checked the Spider Holes and the toilet holes."
True Facts From Snoops #621
According to Snoops: PeeWee Herman's actual name is Kiwi Haggis McFartass but he changed it. "I thought the kids would like PeeWee better."
True Facts From Snoops #59
According to Snoops: Sirhan Sirhan was always shy at school because of his stuttering. "I-I Get it F-from My-my d-dad."
A Mad Obama Hiding in White House
After discovering someone had typed in "President and wife to run naked through the streets at first snow" on page 5547, paragraph 3 of Obamacare.
Franken Caves: We May Have To Delay Obamacare Mandate
"I'm up to page 2322 and won't be finished by Christmas, maybe Ground Hog Day."
US Congresswoman Mugged in Washington
. . .by a congressman on a cocaine rage. Hey-ohhhh!
Texas Board of Education Casting Critical Votes on Science Textbooks Teaching Evolution
Really?! It might be a good idea to teach theories based on SCIENTIFIC FACT in SCIENCE classes and leave the SciFi and Fantasy in the Literature curriculum.
Arizona Child Abuse Reports Botched; Probe Urged
Is it just me or is the wording on this headline, just . . . well, wrong.
Wheelie Bin Laden Finally Located & Shot
The illusive Wheelie Bin Laden has finally been found and buried at sea. "You'll never guess where he was hiding?", says Navy SEAL.
Obama biography required reading for fourth graders.
"Books come back decorated in mustaches, beards, horns, unmentionables.