Herbert's Law Accepted as Fact
The closer the people park their car to the store front, the bigger their bottoms!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Tennessee Man Ordered to Remove Skylight From Ceiling
"That's all those people upstairs do is complain", he tells court.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Volcano forces thousands to flee!
Most of the people there say they hate living on the Volcano Top Islands! "Where are we fleeing?", asks local. "To another exploding island?"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #221
According to Snoops: Our modern day Santa Claus was actually named for Pope Santa Claus II. in the 14th century.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
NFL Hiring Experts
Swimmer Michael Phelps has been hired to teach backfield of NFL football teams how to hold breath for 2-3 minutes while under huge pile-ups.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
NFL on spot over alleged threats, slurs
Tying tails on the center, 'Hit Me' on the back of Quarterback, Pouring boiling oil over losing coaches head. "It's really getting out of hand", stated one player who has not been heard from since.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Dog knows over 1,000 words
Every single one begins with an "r". "Before you laugh", says owner. "Let's see YOU do it!" "Rrright!" (dog).
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Dolphins suspend Richie Incognito
"We hate to lose that talent", says Coach. "Incognito could fool the other team by suddenly appear as other players, referees."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Billions of Earth-like planets? Maybe!
Either way, we need to be copyrighting the name as soon as we can!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
What today's elections really mean
It means that you could be tossed from your house and attacked by a rabid dog, or else it could be another stupid election without any drama in it.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Toronto mayor admits using cocaine
"Yes I have smoked crack! But at least I haven't been running around with my finger up it like my opponent."
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #825
According to Snoops: "Otis" elevators were named after the Andy Griffith drunk, Otis Campbell. Probably because of all the times he placed himself into a cage while on a high state of mind.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Woman writes of struggle to keep the doctors who keep her alive
Screw up at Obamacare has her automatically switched to a veterinarian.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
More sleep could mean slimmer kids
Experts agree that sending a child to bed without supper could reduce weight by nearly 33%.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
What is Non-Celiac Gluten Sensitivity?
People with celiac disease experience a variety of gastrointestinal and, occasionally, extraterrestrial symptoms when they consume gluten. Might explain crop circles according to scientists.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Jennifer Lopez: "l Lost 88% BeIIy Fat"
Kirstie Alley: "How I lost 88 pounds of belly fat!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
.....ripper!!!
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admits smoking crack-that'll teach him to wear Polyester underpants when eating a curry!
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 November 2013
.............woof! woof!
Retiring Police dogs may soon be awarded pensions like their owners-hopefully bus passes and free eye tests as well?
written by Herrdoktorfox, 05 November 2013
Obama surprises visitors as White House tours resume
"Sorry I'm only wearing a towel but I forgot we had guest once again! Whoops!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Police in Texas say that many illegals die of cocaine poisoning
Apparently, they were paid by drug barons to be mules but the hot sauce in food the have eaten cause bags to melt.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admits to scratching crack
I'm sorry. That should be Toronto Mayor Rob Ford admits to 'smoking crack'.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #400
According to Snoops: The inventor of the Twinkies called them "Twinkle Toes" but the name changed when the product was sold to Hostess.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #766A
According to Snoops: Calif. Governor Jerry Brown is the only politician who has walked on air. (Note: He quit trying after one bad trip).
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Group launches campaign to force Congress members to live by laws they pass.
Already defeated in Senate by a vote of 50-0 in trial run.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
GOOGLE flexes new political power.
"You will vote as we say or No Ads For You!", says The Internet Nazi!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Obama denies health care comments.
Stills quote from Yogi Berra: "I didn't say all those things I said!"
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Legalize pot? Raze Astrodome? Voters head to polls #3
Several gangs have asked that they be permitted to raze the Astrodome. Group from Detroit already at it. Must have planned ahead.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Legalize pot? Raze Astrodome? Voters head to polls #2
Police called in at several voting places as Potheads use voting booths to pee.
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Legalize pot? Raze Astrodome? Voters head to polls.
Several pot supporters getting help from designated sober potheads!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Gallup Poll: President's Approval Under 40%
However, that's 39% higher than the rest of Washington!
written by Bureau, 05 November 2013
Jason Alexander Goes Without Underwear in Shocking Sheer Dress With Body-Flashing Cutouts
Fellow 'Seinfeld' star Michael Richards commented: I think that is even more shocking than my rant a couple of years ago.
written by John_L, 05 November 2013
