Obama directs gov't to prepare for global warming.
"Swimming lessons for everyone starting this week, no excuses!"
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
White House to Hit the Road
President Obama and four of the big TV networks will go on the road this week to promote Obamacare! "We'll explain it all to you", says Harry Reed. "Be sure to visit the Joe Biden Kissing Booth."
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Acrobat injured on 'Wheel of Death'
"From now on I'm sticking with 'The Wheel of fortune", he tells reporters.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Sebelius has nothing but sneers for Republican's "gift"
The gift? Two books: "Websites For Dummies" and "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Websites".
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #78
In Paterson, New Jersey during the late 1950's, nearly 75% of everyone's father looked just like Archie Bunker from the neck down!
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #309
According to Snoops: In Hollywood last year, there were 552 more face lifts than faces.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Kerry: US won't allow attacks on Mideast partners
"We'll give them a severe tongue lashing and condemn them in the United Nations."
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Christie promises to avoid 'garbage' politics.
"I used to eat that kind of stuff up!"
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Experts say nuclear power needed to slow warming
At the same time it could really help with the earth's overpopulation problems.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Kerry urges Egypt reform after Morsi ouster
Morsi lawyer has asked for mercy for Morsi!
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Food Bank Volunteers 'panicking'!
I'm sorry, that should be "picnicking".
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Benghazi Whistleblower Says He Was Smeared.
"It was honey and then they placed me on an ant hill but the ants had moved south."
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Chess Grandmaster Takes On 10 Jail Inmates Blindfolded -- And Wins! #2
One inmate told reporters before the game that all of them were hoping to get a "Get out of Jail free" card.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Chess Grandmaster Takes On 10 Jail Inmates Blindfolded -- And Wins!
Inmates say they hadn't played much and that the officials wouldn't let them jump the other figures.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Michigan man wants $25 million reward for bin Laden's death.
Shows voodoo doll and exactly where he placed the pins.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
NYPD will have cameras tracking every inch of route of Marathon.
Both runner will be watched very carefully, they say.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
Police Presence Boosted in All 50 States
Wonder what all that's about? "Honey, there's some people at the door."
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
HealthCare.gov Users Warn of Security Risk, Breach of Privacy.
"Biggest problem with this is having to give your age and weight. At least we are ahead of that silly Obamacare. Sorry, I forgot. We ARE Obamacare.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
De Blasio oversleeps and misses 11:30am event
"I'm one day ahead instead of dropping an hour back because of Global warming and all that fracking kept me up", says still sleepy De Blasio.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
IT BEGINS: Dem calls for law to require all doctors to treat MedicaidMedicare patients.
Doctors already packing suitcases.
written by Bureau, 03 November 2013
U.S. Dogs Protest Time Change
Do not understand why they should have to eat one hour later on Standard Time.
written by The Ruling Authority, 03 November 2013
Frenchy chooses wrong spot for vacation
A French man has been arrested for speaking in French while holidaying in the Greek archipelago. Police from Athens explain that locals hate the language and the people even more. Absolutely right!
written by whatinthe world, 03 November 2013
