............Up the Pole
Prince William reportedly jealous of Prince Haribo's Polar Trek. No worries Willie, why not spend a weekend at the Hyde Park Winter Wonderland instead?
written by Herrdoktorfox, 28 November 2013
Correspondence From China:
Man who run through subway turnstile sideways going to Bangkok - Confucius
written by Harry Buttz, 28 November 2013
Correspondence From China
Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day - Confucius
written by Harry Buttz, 28 November 2013
HMV Stop stocking Band's Material
Lost prophets set to endure lost profits
written by Talking Tic-Tacs, 28 November 2013
Dr Who Reveals His Approach To Reducing Stress During The Festive Season
'In mid-December I always take the Tardis directly to mid-January,' admitted the Doctor. 'I can handle Daleks and Ice Warriors, but, frankly, I can't face Christmas.'
written by Swan Morrison, 28 November 2013
Holidays Off To A Wild Start
Huge crowd of shoe-less, shirt-less people attack Denny's in Georgia, clean out buffet table before police can arrive.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Play Closes After Two Shows
"Death of An Amway Salesman" closes after two nights as some former salespeople spotted in audience and attacked.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
It Happens Every Year
Man beats brother-in-law to death with a turkey drumstick in Illinois!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
People we lost in 2013
Among them Patti Page, Lou Reed, Regis...sorry, he was found later on, hiding.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Getting Ready For Black Friday
Many store workers are wearing extra clothes and helmets this year.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Man Climbs 1100-foot Building, Jumps Off
Coroner says he died of a heart attack on the way down before he hit the street. One on street injured, several splashed. Police chalking 100-foot area.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Mike Tyson to Piers: Obamacare is bad
Probably gives Obama biggest boost in the polls yet.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #114
According to Snoops: The squirrel is the only animal besides humans that cover their nuts.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Ozzie Likes American Thanksgiving!
"I always asked to have the turkey head!"
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Woman claims to find snake head in frozen green beans
Another one finds a snake in her husband's popcorn box at theater.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Iran, US to open joint chamber of commerce
Maybe after smoking a few they will mellow out and get along a lot better.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Why Some Women In Their 50s Look 35?
Have you had your eyesight checked lately? Maybe it's time.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
George Harrison's sister found living modestly in rural Missouri
"I hope that Maharashi Macarena Macaroni comes back as an actual a**hole and not just a person who acts like one."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Dems, Obama, head into 2014 distant, determined
Dumbfounded, Dopey...and other six Dwarfs! Meanwhile GOP remains Snow White!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Turkey Hotline #7
"Hello, is this the Turkey Hotline? Good. What if your turkey explodes when you stick it with a fork? Joke? That's what I thought. Do you know how to get turkey butter out of a blouse, hair or skirt?"
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Ladies in Macy's Parade Wearing More Clothes
Not modesty. Just cold. However, clothing will be very tight and flesh colored.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Bulletin: With All-Clear, Balloons Take Their Places
They will all be there but just over the heads of people in the crowds. Warn against trying to fly by jumping on.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
USA Warns Airlines to Take Precautions Over East China Sea.
Also, over active volcano, tornado, anywhere near a meteor, over crazy old guy with stolen missile in east Tennessee that we're still looking for! He'll thinks you're revenuers!
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Storm to Cause Major Thanksgiving Travel Chaos.
In order to help those trapped at airports, most have kindly offered to sell them turkey dinners at cafes for $100 each. "No thanks needed", they say.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #117
According to Snoops: Bob Dylan seldom removes his sunshades these days, even while he's sleeping.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #817
According to Snoops: Horace Elmore, the inventor of the "Knock, Knock Joke" got his idea from listening to his car engine.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #901
According to Snoops: The ancient Incas were the first to create a 'Lost & Found' head box. If you didn't recover head within a week, it was used for sporting events.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
No big balloons today at Macy's, over wind danger
"We'll just have to go 'Cold Turkey' for this one", says parade manager.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Turkey Hot Line #6
"Hello, is this the Turkey Hotline? What if someone thought it funny to give us a frozen buzzard? Can we still eat it...never mind, I'm not hungry any more."
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Turkey Hotline #5
"Hello, is this the turkey Hotline? The Chicken what? Shit? I guess I got the wrong...oh, you were just kidding? That sounded like a fart." (Click).
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Joe A Go in 2016?
Vice Biden says that he may run for President in 2016 but for now, he's just Biden his time.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
Welsh Whiskey
A Welsh drinks manufacturer was forced to stop labelling
their drinks as Welsh Whiskey after they were caught
using Scotch Whiskey to give it a flavour !
written by Auntie Jean, 28 November 2013
Chinese compassion?
The General Secretary of the Chinese Communist Party has announced a new law enabling poorer sections of the population to starve to death. The ruling prevents rice growing in rural areas of China.
written by whatinthe world, 28 November 2013
Ozzy Osbourne Knows His Music
Ozzy Osbourne told Yippie-Ki-Yay Magazine that his all-time favorite album is Journey Plays The Hits of Foreigner, Foreigner Plays The Hits of Survivor, and Survivor Plays The Hits of Journey.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Rush Limbaugh Loves The Amish People
Rush Limbaugh has just said that he loves the CD, A Collection of Amish Dance Tunes so much that he will be giving a copy to everyone on his Christmas list.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Justin Bieber's Career Is Heading South
Justin Bieber is concerned that his career could be going downhill as he learns that sales of his latest album Justin Bieber Sings The Songs of Liberace has only managed to sell 37 copies nationwide.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Bandini Borrapelli Is Looking Around For A Civil War Story To Film
Movie director Bandini Borrapelli has stated that when he makes a Civil War motion picture he is going to secure the rights to the fantastic album Accordion Songs From The Civil War.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Ma and Pa Kettle Are Coming Back
The Lions Face Motion Picture Company will be filming a remake of one of the hilarious Ma and Pa Kettle films. They plan to use the music from the album Celine Dion's Favorite Hillbilly Classics.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Gordon Ramsay Reveals His Favorite Movie For 2013
Chef Gordon Ramsay of the TV show Hell's Kitchen stated that his favorite movie of 2013 was The Saga of The Sadistic Vampire Chef.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Hot Diggity Dog
One of New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's favorite foods is Chocolate Covered Hot Dogs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
The Rolling Stones Are In Talks With Kanye West
The Rolling Stones want to buy the rights to the album Kanye West's Tribute To The Dust Bowl Days because they plan to produce a film on that sad period in American history.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Ke$ha Is Thrilled At The Sales of Her Latest Album
Ke$ha's newest album titled Ke$ha Performs The Most Popular Love Songs of World War I has just been named the #1 album in Poland, New Guinea, and Lower Zamgola.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Ted Nugent - The Hunting Musician
Ted Nugent has announced that he will be going into the recording studio to record the album Sarah Palin's All-Time Favorite Hunting Songs.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Paris Hilton - The Blonde
Paris Hilton confessed that she invested $200,000 in Frozen Jello Taquitos and she lost it all. She said she now has about 20,000 Frozen Jello Taquitos in an industrial deep freeze she had to rent.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Gary Busey Mentions His Two Favorite Albums
Gary Busey said George Strait's album George Strait Performs The Songs of Beyonce is his second all-time favorite album. He said his favorite is Four Way Street by Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Lindsay Lohan's Favorite Boozery
Lindsay Lohan recently told Barbara Walters on The View that her favorite bar is The Drunk Duck Lounge located in Marina Del Rey.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Michelle Obama and Scarlett Johansson Are On The Same Channel
Both Michelle Obama and Scarlett Johansson have said that the album A Collection of Oprah Winfrey's Best Loved Glockenspiel Tunes is one of the finest they've ever heard.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Paula "Giddy Up" Deen
Most people are not aware of the fact that Paula Deen has a Shetland pony that she named Buttah.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 November 2013
Miley Cyrus ditches her eyebrows?
Shocking new pics show the star without brows but with a painted mustache and top hat.
written by Bureau, 28 November 2013
