Bundles of pot fall from California sky.
It's the pot Fairy! Police still investing but most say that Cheech & Chong had switched from Christmas song to Hannakah!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Iran unveils ballistic missile technology
Still more "Peace In Our Time! What else did they agree to, so you would go away?
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Labor Relations Board Oks Unions Paying People To Protest WALMART.#2
Why? Are the unions too lazy to go out in the cold and protest for themselves? At least furnish them with spiked eggnog.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Labor Relations Board Oks Unions Paying People To Protest WALMART
If they're out tomorrow they'll freeze to death and be trampled to death on Black Friday!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Small Business Latest to Bear Burden of Obamacare Failures
"Oh this would have been a great law", stated one small business owner, for the 1950s!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
'Bomb' at the Turner Prize.
Derry N.Ireland where the Turner Prize is to be held soon was in commotion when among the exhibits was found a hoax bomb with "PERFORMANCE PIECE" written on it.
written by Auntie Matter, 27 November 2013
Next Oscar Nominees to Be Tested for Hemoroids!
I'm sorry. that should have been 'Next Oscar Nominees to be tested for Steroids.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Popcorn the turkey wins the presidential pardon
"He will be a free range turkey", stated the President. Just like Pelosi, Reid and Biden."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Small-business health exchange delayed online
Looks like still another site is about to go down in flames!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
New Levitra twice as strong
Cialis, Viagra caught napping. Both warn: That powerful dose could blow your spigot!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #770
According to Snoops: The most stolen fruit at a grocery is the banana. After placing in front pocket, thief can always say he was going to pull that "Or are just you happy to see me" on cashier.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #818
According to Snoops: Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" was written after Robert Plant's drunk girlfriend fell down over 100 stairs on the fire escape.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
President Upset
"I have told her and told her not to do that?" He was referring to Nancy Pelosi rubbing his head for good luck.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Latest From MSNBC
"The President farted several times today and there was only a hint of heather in the air."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
CNN and MSNBC Lose Almost Half Their Viewers in One Year...
"I get bored watching President being the answer to everything and producing nothing", says one who cancelled channels.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Thanksgiving At The White House
Michelle Obama insists on free-range sweet potatoes and cranberry sauce.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Miley Cyrus Wears Leather Bra and Short Shorts in New Music Video
Guess what's going to be hot next year among 13-19 year olds? Cyrus turning into airhead faster than most.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
China's move to establish air defense zone over East China Sea backfires
Al Gore: Over a billion backfires could cause further melting of icebergs!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Sargent: The GOP is certain Obamacare has failed
"They're showing all the plus numbers of subscribers without showing that half of those have cancelled", says Ron Paul.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Is another Republican wave building?
Their fans are beginning to start "The Wave" at most sporting events...even on the House floor!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Piers Morgan To Release New Book For Christmas
entitled 'Yes, I Indeed Get The Most Abusive Twitter Messages Of Any Personality In Media' - Every twitter message he has received since joining CNN. 23,615 pages. $39.99 US/$49.99 CAN
written by Wire Piddle, 27 November 2013
Daily Mail Reallocates 'Evil Alien' Designation
'Until 1st January,' revealed Daily Mail editor, Paul Dacre, 'we will cease to vilify asylum seekers. Instead, we will be warning against the evil Bulgarian hoards who will then invade our land.'
written by Swan Morrison, 27 November 2013
"Religiously-informed Judgment Of Conscience" No Excuse For Gay Discrimination, Rules Supreme Court
'We are relieved,' said a Wicca representative, as Cornish B&B owners, who refused accommodation to a gay couple, lose appeal. 'Christians now have no precedent to burn us at the stake.'
written by Swan Morrison, 27 November 2013
Value Of A Bitcoin Surpasses $1,000 For The First Time
'The price is being inflated,' said one financial analyst, 'by thousands of people buying into the currency who are unfamiliar with the terms: overvalued, bubble and crash.'
written by Swan Morrison, 27 November 2013
Strong Winds May Ground Biggest Balloons at Thanksgiving Day Parade
Chris Christie sends word that he's staying in New Jersey.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Clinton Seeks State Dept. Legacy Beyond That of Globe-Trotter
"Those guys make me look silly while I'm out there on the court."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Syria Will Attend Geneva Peace Talks
"Of course, that still depends on who wins the civil war here!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Karzai's Bet: U.S. Is Bluffing in Warning on Security Pact
See. If you give in one place, no one will respect you after that!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Drug Taking Advocated For All Masterchef Judges
'If Nigella was on drugs,' said one viewer, 'that would explain why she was so chilled-out on her cookery shows. Roux, Wallace and Torode should try it to make Masterchef less intense and stressful.'
written by Swan Morrison, 27 November 2013
A Bird Whose Life Depends on a Crab
"Wish the old lady would let me fly around the room sometimes. Is that too much to ask? I'm a jailbird here. Solitary confinement."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
In Israel, a Dilemma Over Gene Test
Many want to see if they are descendants of Aaron who was a Levite, the priestly tribe. "It's all about wearing Levite Genes", cracked a local man in Jerusalem.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Airspace Claim Forces Obama to Flesh Out China Strategy
"Say what? We sent two planes over the area China is now claiming. Is that what you're running your mouth off about?"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Florida Man Kills Family, Neighbors and Dog
Claims he was just cleaning his gun when it suddenly went off...
written by Harry Buttz, 27 November 2013
Obama Trying to Help Unemployed
Those laid off at a Kansas upholstery business will be able to draw unemployment checks immediately, the President stated. "This is the Holiday Season & maybe this will cushion their sudden lay-off."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Another Terrorist Attack?
Authorities say that a homemade fertilizer bomb was discovered at Fort Elijah this morning.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Latest Consumer Warning
Home Health Agency says that they have found traces of ricin in Strychnine for rats.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
WalMart Customers Warned
"Although we know of no unsafe turkeys here, terrorists could have stuffing with explosives. Be sure to check before placing in oven," says WalMart Spokesperson.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Iran FM says construction will continue at contested Arak nuclear reactor site
"I have no idea what the U.S. President is talking about!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Endangered frogs killed by fungus
News sends thousands of people to doctor's office, pointing to big toenail fungus! "See, it's already started!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Black Friday tricks to avoid
Number One: Jumping in front of a 300-pound lady with a huge 40-pound purse!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
O.J. Simpson loses bid for new trial
Charles Manson: "I don't blame them. That man's a nut!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Police Action
The Police in London are accused of not doing enough to help cyclist injured by heavy lorry
written by j.w., 27 November 2013
Hordes of passengers + Nasty weather = Chaos
Passengers having stay-over at airports told to beware of "Knockout" game as Captain on flight knocked out by big kid. Co-pilot had to land plane. Was then knocked out.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Hello Hello Hello
Cyclist at Downing Street lies on bed of nails after Cycling Crackdown
written by j.w., 27 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #911
According to Snoops: Ms. Lillian Carter's last words were, "Billy Beer, Made Right Here!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #128
According to Snoops: Many people recall Ghandi and his special 'fast' but very few indeed recall his "loose".
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Rwanda launches 'non-surgical' circumcision drive to combat HIV
"We now can use lasers but you must be very very very still!"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Militarized police forces raise concerns.
Also, Neighborhood Watches now driving tanks around at night.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
British tea shop creates 'breathable' tea
Shop manager tells customers that there's a pool of tea out back and you can swim under tea and still breathe.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Scientists testing chemicals that can delete memories.
Scientists testing chemicals that can delete memories. Scientists testing chemicals that can delete memories. Scientists testing chemicals that can delete memories. Scientists testing chemicals that
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
NYC Moving to 20 MPH Limit on City Streets.
Except for bikes and pedestrians!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Europe threatens to freeze data sharing.
"You probably already have it anyway." say leaders.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Media push to make Obamacare right.
President hires Santa Claus as spokesman. White House turkey pardons Washington politicians. Easter Bunny hops from GOP to Dems.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Charles Saatchi Squeaky Clean... Official!
Charles Saatchi who has accused his wife of cocaine addiction has never gone near the stuff himself... "not ever, in over fifty years...not even once,", says his good friend Tony Blair.
written by Auntie Matter, 27 November 2013
Connie Mack Eyes Trey Radel's House Seat
. . . to see if what's left of an "eight ball" fell between the cushions.
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 27 November 2013
Police Chief to be Shot with Taser to Raise Money
Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant! Unprecedented money making scheme. Why didn't somebody think of this one sooner. It's going to bring in unfathomable amounts of cash.
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 27 November 2013
Cops Nab Suspect in Dunkin' Donuts Holdups
Duhhhhh . . .
written by Tony Bagodonutz, 27 November 2013
Obama farts
US President Barack Obama will resign from the Presidency effective noon tomorrow after admitting he "lit a fart" at dinner one evening with the Israeli Prime-minister. Imagine the gas from that one!
written by whatinthe world, 27 November 2013
Risk of superbugs skyrockets as world enters 'post-antibiotic era'
Headlines scaring kids down south. "Just how big are those super bugs, daddy?"
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Why Are We Not Surprised?
Iranian officials say that the White House is misleading the public about the details of an interim nuclear agreement reached over the weekend in Geneva.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
After Iran Deal, Talks With Cuba Next?
"We could start by sending out an envoy to apologize for trying to kill Castro over 100 times."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
At Least the Water Put the Fire Out!
After seeing the airplane land on the Hudson River two years ago, John Lindsey tried to land his small plane in a pond in Kentucky. "I made it with only one broken leg & arm. Wasn't much like TV."
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
Gore Still A Bore
Close friends of Al Gore warn people that they should never mention Ben Franklin or you'll get a one-hour tirade over his inventing Daylight Saving Time!
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #359
According to Snoops: Oddly enough George Washington Carver died from a peanut allergy.
written by Bureau, 27 November 2013
