New Spy Report
According to the latest, Kim Jong of Korea is planning to sneak a special military unit into the U.S. to seize Warner brothers.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
It's A Conspiracy
For one thing, you can never read their prescription or signature so the Pharmacist can charge what he wants. But when you get that doctor's bill later, a 10-year-old could read it!
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Another Country Music Award Show
This one will offer the very best of the past 6 months of Country Music Awards winners. Lifetime Achievement Award will go to Taylor Swift. That makes 309 Awards so far. We're hoping you win, Taylor.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Lost world -- what happened to Mars?
Seventeen trillion dollars in debt and we're wondering what happened to the water on Mars? What happened to our money here on earth?
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #213
According to Snoops: According to old diaries from the 1800's, if there was one foe that Billy the Kid feared, it was Kid DY-No-Mite!
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Report: Gov't Agencies Victim of Widespread Hack Attack.
Of course, we would never stoop this low. What do you mean most attacks come from U.S. competitors?"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Money sent by US immigrants to Latin America more than doubled since '00.
So somebody is working. Can't blame companies that get a days work instead of a day's cellphone calls for their money.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Thousands of Doctors dropped from health plan!
Patients urge them to stay in office and charge cash only, drop all paperwork lowering costs, patients sign no lawsuit allied agreement. You'll get plenty of business.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
White mayor, black wife: NYC shatters an image
"We have another one here in Alabama. The first mayor whose married to his sister?"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Protest against Dutch blackface holiday tradition #2
"How about 'White Christmas'. Isn't that racist? How about those Stones song, "Painted Black"? How about "Whiter Shade of Pale"?"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Protest against Dutch blackface holiday tradition
"Black Pete" is the equivalent of Santa Claus in some countries but he may not be for long as some say it is not politically correct. "Is Everything politically incorrect?", one Pete asked.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Obama struggles to save his cherished health law
"He cuddles me at night and calls me My Little Healthcare", say First Lady.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Colleges With the Easiest and Hardest Grades
This is always easy to do. Take the top 100 football or basketball schools and turn them upside down!
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Sam Champion Back From Honeymoon #2
"What was our wedding song? 'We Are The Champions' of course. Can't beat Queen with a stick!"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Sam Champion Back From Honeymoon
"Glad to be back. First of all, I'd like to thank all those ladies who wrote in offering to assist me in going straight."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
GOP: Obama knew "keep your plan" promise was deceitful
"Deceitful, deceitful, deceitful! Shazam! Sounded just like Gomer Pyle didn't I? Oh, are we still on? This is another station, not Good Morning America Saturday!"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Preview: "As it Happened: John F. Kennedy 50 Years"
Walter Cronkite: A note just handed to me reads, "There's a piece of snot on your upper lip....we'll get back to the Tragedy in Texas after these words."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #245
According to Snoops: In a recent experiment, a baby's favorite food is not Gerber's but "Dolly Parton."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
President Changing Sign in Oval Office #2
Sign in Oval Office changed from "The Buck Stops Here" to "I Blame The Bush Administration".
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
President Changing Sign in Oval Office
Instead of "The Buck Stops Here", it reads "The Beer Starts Here!"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
'People In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones,' Says Sri Lankan President After Call For Abuses Inquiry
'This is wise advice for all glass house owners,' said a spokesman for the UK glass house builders association, 'even if it does come from someone who should be investigated for human rights abuses.'
written by Swan Morrison, 16 November 2013
EasyJet, Airbus team create world's first man-made ash cloud
Others expected to follow. Greenpeace biting it's toenails.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #229
According to Snoops: Although Mr. Peanut seems extremely sturdy in the commercials, close friends say that he's actually brittle.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #441
According to Snoops: Most blues singers agree that things could still get a lot worse.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Newspaper retraction -- 150 years later #2
OK OK! So no one has ever fallen off the edge of the earth like we've been reporter over the past 50 years.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Newspaper retraction -- 150 years later
OK OK! The earth revolves around the sun, not the sun around the earth!
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
City-size iceberg may threaten ships
"Crow's Nest" now atop many as they cross the ocean.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Princeton reacts to meningitis outbreak
"We're All Going To Die! It's Here! It's Here Already! We Are All Going To Die! Mama! Dad, Come get me!!"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Toronto's mayor -- before the crack pipe
Now here's the mayor "without" the crack pipe: (I can't see any difference, can you?)
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Mississippi man charged in porch killing
Also under attack from PETA after porch falls on eleven coon hounds.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
A look inside 2014's sexiest car
Whoops! Sorry, we must have proof that you're over 18 or have signature of your parents on the slip.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Automobile of the Year picked
It's the brand new modified Popemobile. Now gets 5 miles per gallon and goes 10 MPH. (Actually, this pope takes the bus.)
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
House votes to reinstate insurance plans. Will such fixes sink Obamacare? #2
Mexican Drug Cartel offer their own solution to the problem: Don't waste money on insurance. Get a big bill, you go bankrupt if you have to. Or take a pistol and go into the next room. Stay well.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
House votes to reinstate insurance plans. Will such fixes sink Obamacare?
General view around the country is: We don't know who's done what to whom or whom to what.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Easing of China policy may not result in baby boom
Most say that 'one screaming brat is enough for us." But without free condoms, may have 20.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Health care: Obama's fix for canceled plans throws insurers a curveball
In other words, it looks like he's struck out again.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Study Shows Anti-Wrinkle Cream Really Works
But after an hour or two it needs to be reapplied. "Either that or remodel a room at home with zero gravity."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Erdogan launches peace talks with Iraqi Kurdish Spokesperson
Miss Lill Muffet says that as long as they keep that talking spider quiet.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
BART calls for return to bargaining table
The rest of the Simpson's say they will wait and see what happens between Bart and ABC.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
George W. Bush Comes Clean
"I admit that I was responsible for President Obama's ears sticking out that way."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Official: Iran to make a nuclear by next week
All participation will be based on 'The Honor System'. Israel: That's good enough for us. A word is good as a handshake.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #905
According to Snoops: The Surgeon General says that it is OK to smoke after sex, once you become 65 years old, 62 if you 'retire' early.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #663
According to Snoops: Amish children can ride a mechanical pony outside WalMart but only if a stranger puts in the quarters.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
True Facts From Snoops #821
According to Snoops: "When the going gets rough, the rough usually cut down a bit on their fiber."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Toronto crack mayor apologizes -- again
"I'm sorry I'm a drug addict but you've had alcoholics in charge for years and they've done OK with screwing up the country. I see no difference."
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Bieber's concert gear impounded in Argentina.
"You have six weeks to reclaim or we auction it off on eBay!"
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Government OK' s Illegals that are working.
"I need Carlos to help me with this meth making so he's been approved.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
US Will not deport illegal relatives of troops, veterans.
friends of friends of relatives of anybody in government or working at any business, legal or illegal.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Sensitive information stolen from U.S.
Mostly from e-mails and Facebook over who's cheating on who.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Counter Attack Hacking Fort Knox
Counter attack counting number of gold bricks stored there. Actually most 'Gold Bricks' in Washington.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
REPORT: Gov't Agencies Victim of Widespread Hack Attack.
Probably in return for all the hacking going on from our own country after we were attacked before...a counter-attack.
written by Bureau, 16 November 2013
Free For All Schools
New Free For All Schools are being established by the Government for Young people who want to fight without rules.
written by j.w., 16 November 2013
Enterprising Idea for Troubled NHS
The Government has decided to imprison all Doctors and Nurses who upset Cabinet Ministers when they visit Hospitals.
written by j.w., 16 November 2013
Commonwealth Surprise
The Queen has suggested that the Commonwealth should honour the founder of the Commonwealth - Oliver Cromwell.
written by j.w., 16 November 2013
Football Experiment
Prof Hodgson mixed his ingredients but forgot about the chilli. Result: Bland rubbish.
written by j.w., 16 November 2013
Caring for Old People
Send them home where they can freeze in their own houses.
written by j.w., 16 November 2013
Cameron on Human Rights
Human Rights are for other countries, not for us.
written by j.w., 16 November 2013
UK Politicians Give Themselves Up.
Twenty-three UK politicians, many of whom were involved in Tony Blair's cabinet, yesterday surrendered themselves to Scotland Yard detectives involved in the Jimmy Savile Inquiry.
written by Auntie Matter, 16 November 2013
