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Tavez Fails in Bid to Join Werst Ham

Carlos Tevez, Man City's troubled star accidentally did not join his team on the pitch as a sub so he could engineer a loan to West Ham. But City's manager Meancini would not agree.

written by j.w., 01 October 2011

Commissioner Selig orders Leyland to change underwear

NEW YORK, Ny.--When it was learned that Tigers manager Jim Leyland won't change his underwear for good luck, Bud Selig ordered him to bathe and suit up with laundered trunks. Selig: "That just gross."

written by Lyndon, 01 October 2011

The NBA Is Certainly Taking It's Time But Moving In The Right Direction

The NBA shot clock has finally been eliminated. Opponents felt the electronic clock broke down way too much so it will be replaced with a person who will count down from 24 and yell out "Zero!"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2011

Jon Huntsman Knows All About Numbers and Quotas

Jon Huntsman was asked by a reporter what he would do to eliminate poverty in his home state of Utah. He did not miss a beat as he replied that he would move the poor people down to Arizona.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2011

Ron Paul - The Man With Some Strict Stipulations

Ron Paul was asked if he would ever consider making a citizens arrest. He smiled and said that he probably would but only if the perp was 90 and was using a walker.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2011

Newt Gingrich - The Poster Fella For Anti-Gay Marriage

Newt Gingrich was asked why he is so set against gays and lesbians being able to marry. He remarked "Because once you allow them to marry next they'll want to have gay and lesbian pets."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2011

Brutha Herman Cain He Be Talking About Rappin' a Bit

Herman Cain was asked for his thoughts on the illegal practice of cell phone jamming. He replied, "Well I guess it be okay as long as dey don't be using da "B" word too much and all"

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2011

Michele Bachmann Has Denied The 'Inky' Rumors

Michele Bachmann denies she has a tattoo on an intimate part of her body. She said that even if she did have one it would be no ones business but her's, her husband's, and her campaign manager's.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 01 October 2011
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