There were 698 spoof news snippets published in June 2011. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
British Get Taken....for fools?
Police abandon investigation re. TV talent show as they suspect publicity stunt. No convincing reason offered yet about how the makers of a show with millions of viewers could gain from such a stunt!
written by Tommy Twinkle, 06 June 2011
Cheryl Cole in denial!
Extremely talented British singer Cheryl Cole said today she absolutely HAD NOT been blogging from Germany recently.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 04 June 2011
Miracle Announced in America
Politician shows his pants on Twitter and still has a job.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Government's 'Work Training' plans.....for Children!
...Mr Cameron insists plans to end child support benefit will not result in children being abandoned onto the streets. Old style Victorian workhouses will be brought in to accommodate them he says.
written by Tommy Twinkle, 12 June 2011
Woolly Jumpers Deployed to Battle Gas Price Hike
Yes, that's right, jumping sheep will power a treadmill that will provide electricity for half of London. Hurrah.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
Diddy Changes His Name To 'Chuck Berry'
Purchases Naming Rights From Johnny B. Goode
written by Michael Balton, 24 June 2011
5'6" Nicholas Sarkozy Deemed 'Sex Machine."
Report appears in June issue of 'Little People ' in Poll taken by Canadian 'Lady Godiva', 4'1", during her retirement tour of the Provinces saying,"I just love Poles, especially little pink ones!"
written by unknown
I don't want to be too negative
But there is no plus button on my calculator.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 14 June 2011
Mr Davies is confused !
MP Philip Davies is confused. He asks, "If disabled people have to be paid at least the minimum wage shouldn't it follow that no able bodied person will be working for the same measly amount of pay?"
written by Tommy Twinkle, 18 June 2011
Ayrton Senna film crashes
A film about the Brazilian racing driver Ayrton Senna opened at The Curzon,Mayfair last night.Senna's nephew Bruno was due to attend but was involved in a 10 car pile up on the way to the cinema.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 03 June 2011
Ryan Giggs song banned from terraces by Judge.
He's Welsh, he's red, he's in his brothers bed, Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 07 June 2011
Anthony Weiner - Shocked!
Anthony Weiner is shocked that no-one wants to shake his hand anymore.
written by unknown
Bag of commas stolen from HQ of Spoof.Com.
A bag of commas has been stolen from a Writer's Forum and have, been found, in very, strange places,
written by Rebel Not Taken, 13 June 2011
Rooney has new nickname
Rooney's mates are calling him 'Scabby 'Ead Scouser'.
written by unknown
Couple sue Chelmsford council for dogging fine
Mr & Mrs X were fined £80 for performing indecent acts in a public car park. Mr X argued; "The sign clearly said; Park and ride"
written by Les Being, 28 June 2011
As reported on CNN Pope Papped
As reported on CNN tonight, the Pope was well and truly papped. Yes 'Pontif Papped'.
written by unknown
Brits Find French Aircraft Carriers Unsafe!
Reports are craft are too slow to launch planes into the wind as crew is cultivating mussels on the keel and only harvest once a month as part of 'self sustaining' EU Eating Mandate.
written by unknown
Doctors recommend power naps at work
Unless you're a Polish lorry driver or airline pilot. In which case staying awake seems like a better idea
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Why is Weiner Whining?
Dozy sod should have changed his name years ago!
Only trouble can come from hanging on to Weiner.
written by unknown
Papers Prefer Papping Pippa
Most newspapers obviously prefer papping Pippa Middleton. Kate is attending weekly therapy sessions to help her cope with her recently acquired inferiority complex.
written by unknown
BREAKING News
Neighbour's son threw baseball through Lady Godiva's living room window. Broke it!
written by unknown
Spoof Writers wanted
The Spoof is in need of some new Spoof Writers who are creative, funny and not afraid of criti, ctitisi, critisism... You can be a Brit. or from anywhere else in this wonderful world.
written by unknown
Bruce Forsyth to be 'knighted'
Bruce has been given strict instructions NOT to say 'Give us a twirl' to the Queen during his knighthood ceremony.
written by unknown
So Farewell, Clarence Clemons.
The Big Man - Born To Play!
The E Street Band has lost another.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 19 June 2011
So Farewell, Nathan Clark.
I have two pairs of your boots. Love them.
(Look him up!)
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 29 June 2011
CHCH t.v . Ontario reports on pappings
CHCH t.v. Ontario is concerned about the number of residents on Southern Ontario being 'papped' without their concent. Many are taking such 'pappings' to court.
written by unknown
New 'Super Diet'
Just eat the 'holes' out of your doughnuts!
written by unknown
Spoof Writer, Lady Godiva, retires from teaching
Red Alert! Lady G. HAS officially retired from teaching and promises to be more ACTIVE on the Spoof. Gird your loins boys. Batten down the hatches maties. You have been warned. LOL LOL LOL
written by unknown
Police to Investigate Whether Britain's Got Talent Is Fixed…
Simon Cowell has called in the police to investigate whether BGT has been fixed. Why? Haven't they got better things to do like chase speeding motorists and help old ladies cross the road?
written by IN SEINE, 03 June 2011
For Those Who Baldly Go…
Foul-mouthed footballer, Wayne Rooney has had a hair transplant with Kevin Keegan in the hopes that he will be able to score more goals next season. It is expected to be a permanent fixture.
written by IN SEINE, 06 June 2011
Free beer tomorrow.
There is a sign in my local pub promising FREE BEER TOMORROW.
Lots of idiots turned up. Like they do every day.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 17 June 2011
Spoof Writer fails test to compete on Deal or No Deal
Lady Godiva failed to pass a test to become a competitor on the game show 'Deal or No Deal'. Apparently she can only recognize numbers up to 10.
written by unknown
Miracle Announced in Germany
Scientist eats a cucumber and a Bean Sprout... and lives.
written by Katarina Frogpond2, 07 June 2011
So Farewell, Miriam Karlin
I missed the obits last week - how?
"Everybody out!"
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 14 June 2011
Terry Waite handcuffed to radiator
Terry Waite was handcuffed to a radiator for three years, given little food and mentally tortured on an almost daily basis. This is not Beirut but his old people's home in Manchester
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Good news and bad news
Ex PM Margret Thatcher is in hospital. You make up the bad news
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Essex car thief caught
Habitual car thief Wayne Burberry was chased today by five police cars and a helicopter. Total cost of the chase was over 100K. He was given an on the spot fine of £80 and asked not to do it again.
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Rhianna Falls
Not as good as Niagara Falls!
written by unknown
I am getting all of my tax back
Sorry...that should read 'I am getting all of my tacks back'. My neighbour borrowed them for her notice-board and has now bought her own.
written by unknown
Teenagers found stripping in Ontario, Canada
No cause for concern....they are stripping tobacco leaves - part of the harvesting of tobacco - necesssary for you smokers out there.
written by unknown
World's oldest brothel to close
Brothel owner Ben Dover said; "My girls were always on top but since the recession it's all gone tits up"
written by Les Being, 28 June 2011
Snuff movie awards
Thirteen snuff movie actors received posthumous awards at this year's ceremony in London
written by Les Being, 28 June 2011
Eric Pickles in a pickle
Eric Pickles wants to open shops at Whitehall HQ in empty space. He wants to open a fresh produce shop 'Pickles Produce' but is in a pickle as a result of the recent drought affecting crops.
written by unknown
Basildon candle factory catches fire
Locals blow it out and sing "Happy birthday"
written by Les Being, 29 June 2011
News on Royals
This just in: Prince William and Kate still madly in love.
written by unknown
Prince William has special flag designed for visit to Canada
Why?
written by unknown
Spain importing cucumbers from Southern Ontario
Cucumber farmers in Ontario are reported to be delighted to have been asked to export cucumbers to Spain, especially since a well know Pickle giant-who they supplied, moved factories to Mexico.
written by unknown
A doctor said; "Men think about sex every ten seconds"
We don't know who that doctor is but we guess she had massive tits
written by Les Being, 30 June 2011
UK teachers strike over pensions
Pupils offer full support for further action. Hey, wait a minute…………….
written by Les Being, 30 June 2011
America to Go Cashless
Wallet manufacturers are furious - especially in China!
written by IN SEINE, 30 June 2011
Uri Geller confession
Mr Geller says "Yes I did bend spoons and keys but I never touched Cliff Richard, I swear, he was already bent"
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
World's worst inventor's award
First place goes to Earl Grey whose inventions include; soluble tea bags, water resistant soap, a luminous sundial and solar powered torch. Proud to be British
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Jolly Green Giant and Hulk are in a relationship
Tired of being alone, the Jolly Green Giant and The Hulk are now in a relationship, sharing a house in Greensville, Kentucky.
written by unknown
Justin Bieber's teddy bear kidnapped
Justin refuses to perform until 'teddy' is returned.
Kidnappers demand Bieber perform less 'effeminate' moves on stage and 'teddy' will be returned.
written by unknown
Bruce Forsyth - knighthood gone to his head
Sir Bruce Forsyth is taking knighthood a bit too far. He has taken to wearing armour in public and carrying big sword.
written by unknown
Margaret Thatcher's Handbag Is Expected to Realise Millions
A handbag which once belonged to Margaret Thatcher is expected to sell for millions of pounds. Particularly as it is rumoured to be bombproof and contain the title deeds to the Falkland Islands.
written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2011
Now it' s Jane Norman
First it was Focus, then it was Habitat that went into administration. Now it's Jane Norman - I wonder who will be NEXT?
written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2011
Andy Murray Mugged by Wombles
Andy Murray was attacked by 6, six-foot Wombles this evening on Wimbledon Common as he walked away from his fourth round victory against Richard Gasquet a police spokesman said this evening.
written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2011
Mark Lowton nominated for Pride of Britain Award
NO THIS IS NOT AN AWARD GIVEN TO GAYS ONLY!
written by unknown
Man Who Bought Chocolate for Girlfriend Is Irate
A man who bought chocolates from Thornton's is angry because he brought them on Saturday, his girlfriend left him Sunday, and today Thornton's announces that it is to close and he cannot get a refund!
written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2011
Doctors Reveal Cause of Illness
Doctors have reported that the reason why so many people are "ill at ease" is because of MEDICAL INSURANCE
written by IN SEINE, 28 June 2011
Nothing works better than 'Xtra' detergent to keep your clothes clean
So...use NOTHING in your washing machine, apart from water, and you will see the difference in cleanliness straight away.
written by unknown
The law really is an ass
In a bizarre miss interpretation of changes to the sexual offences act, Essex police charged thirty stable hands with "grooming horses"
written by Les Being, 29 June 2011
Nottingham Forest appoint Umbrella as new manager.
The Umbrella is expected to bring in ex England coach Steve McClaren as it's assistant.
written by Rebel Not Taken, 13 June 2011
US cocaine contaminated with flesh-eating bacteria
Doctors say; they may die in vein
written by Les Being, 30 June 2011
Catholic High Schools new ruling on uniforms
Girls attending Catholic High Schools where a kilt is part of their uniform, have been told they must all 'go commando'. Male kilt-wearers say that it's time for equality.
written by unknown
Black bear mauled by man in zoo
Black bear seriously injured when attacked by male visitor to zoo he resided in. Apparently the bear reached across a gap and stole the man's Red Sox baseball cap. The fan went wild. Was sedated.
written by unknown
Scarlet Spoofer sighting in Blackburn Scotland, home of Subo
Report of Scarlet Spoofer received by Blackburn, Scotland police. Blackburn,home of Subo.Normal fans believe it is NOT the Scarlet Spoofer but a crazed Subo fanatic who dresses head to toe in RED.
written by unknown
Dr Who bollard stolen
Council worker Gerry McCann said, "I just popped around the corner for lunch. When I came back it was gone. I was only away for ten minutes"
written by Les Being, 25 June 2011
New economic stimulus scheme...
Schedule interest in dog years.
written by Michael Balton, 28 June 2011
Headlines from Bilderberg Group
Humans are to animals what weeds are to plants.
written by Aspartame Boy, 05 June 2011
Computer Keyboard Instruction Manual Desperately Needed
Will someone please send Lady Godiva a Computer Keyboard Instruction Manual as she keeps 'buggering up' her keyboard and has to type, 'insert question mark'...whenever this happens.
written by unknown
Good news. Stabbing intruders in your home made legal
Bad news. Jehovah's Witnesses and mothers-in-law excluded from act
written by Les Being, 30 June 2011
Cheat tells brother to dump cheat
It is reported that Ryan Giggs has had the nerve to tell his brother to dump his cheating wife because she 'is trouble'. What a gentleman! Always thinking of his family first!
written by unknown
Cadburys Advert Attracts Wrong Naomi
Naomi Campbell claims that Cadburys are associating her with a chocolate bar. There are many models called Naomi and there are many Divas, so why does she think that Cadburys are pinpointing her?
written by IN SEINE, 05 June 2011
Danny Dyer
During a routine genealogy test, cockney actor Danny Dyer discovered that he is in fact Welsh. Our thoughts are with Danny and his family at this unhappy time.
written by Les Being, 23 June 2011
Aviva sell RAC to American equity firm
Talks broke down but the AA were called in and restarted them
written by Les Being, 25 June 2011
How to Rob a Bank
Walk to counter - pull out gun - ask for money - put money in bag - rull like hell.
written by unknown
Andy Murray breaks arm
Unfortunately it wasn't his but that of an over enthusiastic autograph hunter who mistook Mr Murray for someone famous
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Wickford Hacker
Wickford hacker Ryan Cleary, 19 is accused by the CIA of being….@#£$%,,, I, I mean, he is innocent. He is a very nice lad and should be let off…….{+*&^$.....the world's number one hacker.
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Grapes are bad for you (Official)
A recent study of ill people in hospital has shown that 90% eat grapes. You heard it here first
written by Les Being, 26 June 2011
Economic Alert...
Bernanke gives cautiously optimistic 2nd quarter assessment: "I forgot to replace the batteries in my calculator."
written by Michael Balton, 09 June 2011
Bringing the Boys Back Home Is No Longer A Public Ceremony
Royal Wooton Bassett may no longer be allowed to hold ceremonial parades of those servicemen killed in Afghanistan. "in case" it brings shame on Muslims.
written by IN SEINE, 27 June 2011
Ten policemen change a light bulb
It took two to nick it, and eight to help fit it up
written by Les Being, 27 June 2011
Anyone pronouncing 'Wimbledon' - 'Wimpleton' - to be fined.
This mispronunciation is widely used across Canada and some of the United States. It is not to continue. If you hear ANYONE-especially newscasters-mispronoucing it-report them. This is disgusting.
written by unknown
Kate Moss becomes 'Kate who?'
Kate Moss turned away by burly security guards as she tries to get backstage at Glastonbury. "Kate who?"
written by unknown
Cheryl Cole to star in new Geordie police show
Its called Ha-wi-i five ou
written by Les Being, 27 June 2011
Good news at last. Car tax down by 50%
Sorry, that should have read; Car attacks down by 50%
written by Les Being, 28 June 2011
In Milton Keynes Today… AN UPDATE
After Special Branch were called in to investigate the 'tree-hugger' suspected of spreading Dutch Elm disease, they discovered that in fact he had Deathwatch Beetle. He is now in hospital.
written by IN SEINE, 05 June 2011
Great news for Wayne Rooney
His head scab dropped off today.
written by unknown
Pervert Scottish footballer sacked
A club spokesman said; "We pay him to tackle in front of the net, not show off his tackle on the net"
written by Les Being, 29 June 2011
Peter Papper Papped a pair of 'pappers' according to CKCO news
Peter Papper, otherwise known is Petet Piper picking pickled peppers, recently Papped a pair of Pappers taking pictures of Spoof Writers. Super injuctions expected to follow.
written by unknown
Hugh Heffner's fiancee awoke from her coma
Hugh's been dumped. Fiancee awoke from coma. Looked at him and went into shock. Wedding off!
written by unknown
Americans rename 'weiners'
Weiners (sausages) are being re-named in America. They are now to be called 'willies' in light of the present congressional scandal. No one wishes to put a wiener in their mouth.
written by unknown
Lady Godiva asked husband for an iPod as a retiremen gift
He said, "I thought I'd heard her correctly and bought her a pea-pod. Actually I bought her 1lb of them. She is never bloody satisfied that woman.
written by unknown
Deadly sharks spotted off of UK coast!
The deadly, vicious, evil, Oceanic White Tip shark has been spotted off of the UK coast; they heard that many obese, overweight Brits will be visiting the beach this year, YUMMY!
written by unknown
Distraught Katie Price comments on her botched breast-reduction op
'It's gone tits up' she said.
written by pinxit, 10 June 2011
400 UK nudist shark lovers jump into freezing Welsh sea!
400 UK nudist shark lovers determined to prove to the world that sharks detest human flesh jumped into the sea in Wales and no-one was attacked, the sharks couldn't stomach the sight!
written by unknown
