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When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's...

...Umami.' Heston Blumenthal

written by pinxit, 11 August 2011

Swim, Swim, Swim, Ouchhhhh!

The elderly female swimmer who was to have swum from Cuba to the United States had to stop when she hit boiling water off the Florida coast.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

At Least Michele Bachmann Is An Honest GOPette

Michele Bachmann was asked why she had that crazed look on her face on the Newsweek cover. She replied, "I was thinking that I could actually be elected president and it scared the hell out of me."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

Sarah Palin - The Woman Who Wants To Be Everything!

Sarah Palin is upset that Michele Bachmann is being called the Queen of Rage. Palin wants to be the Queen of Rage, and the Queen of Mean, the Queen of Ya Knowing, and the Queen of Moose Ambushing.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

The Fortune Cookie Factory Is Not Really A Fortune Cookie Factory

President Obama says he may go on vacation to China. He said that he and Michelle would love to see exactly where the billions and billions of dollars in loans are coming from.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

Mildred Baena Has A Brand New T-Shirt

Ex-Schwarzenegger maid Mildred Baena was seen wearing a T-shirt that read: "I'm a maid, I do windows, floors, and bedrooms, but I don't do bosses."

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

Michele Bachmann and Mitt Romney - The Likeness is Hairy

Mitt Romney hates being called the Male Michele Bachmann. Michele Bachmann said she does not mind being called the Female Mitt Romney because she pointed out that he has much better looking hair.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

It Is Time To Insource The Outsourcers Outsourcees

Congressmen are taking a six-week vacation. Lets make it six months and bring in some of them Pakistani telemarketers to take their place since those fellas couldn't possibly mess things up any worse.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

Al Gore and Sarah Palin Take Stress To A Highly Stressful Level

Al Gore and Sarah Palin are two of the most stressful people in America and if they had a baby together it would probably be a 6 pound nerve.

written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 August 2011

Pope Blamed for Riots

In a declaration that will shock the Vatican the Daily Mail has attacked the Pope for spreading wild liberal ideas which inspired youths rioting in Liverpool.

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

THIS IS NOT A JOKE

All jokes about the Riots are to be outlawed in a new 'Stop Trying to be Funny' law.

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

Waiting for a Bus

A family waiting for a Bus in the countryside have rioted in an effort to get attention.

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

I can't understand!

A secret agent who had infiltrated gangs of rioters has been relieved of his duties as he couldn't understand a word the rioters were saying.

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

England in the News

Worldwide interest in the dramatic events in England have caused the Scottish Nationalists, Sinn Fein and tPlaid Cymru to secede from what they called 'an infantile State.'

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

Riots in the House of Commons

Riots broke out in the House of Commons as MP's feared David Cameron would never stop talking about being responsible for their actions.

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

Spurs Unsafe

Due to UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES Spurs have called off their game with Everton this weekend. 'I got the date wrong' said Harry Redknapp 'we were on holiday in Tuscany discussing tactics with Cameron.'

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

Message to Rioters from MP's

Can we back on holiday now, please?

written by j.w., 11 August 2011

UK rioters and looters to get "six of the best" at their local schools

UK judges confronted with thousands of morons and over-filled jails are sentencing the scum to "six of the best" at local schools. Putting them in public stocks was too harsh, what a shame!

written by unknown

Rubber Heads!

A Nation manipulated by it's government into giving consent for it's police to use rubber bullets - against children - instead of demanding those 'brave' policemen be issued with some rubber footwear!

written by Tommy Twinkle, 11 August 2011

Luton and looting

Rioters are looting in Luton. Well, it had to happen eventually!

written by whatinthe world, 11 August 2011

Federal Government declares August "White History Month"

Congress announced today that Aug. is now officially White History Month. "It came down to August being the hottest, longest, most oppressive month of the year," Pres. Obama said. "It fit the theme."

written by Moustafa Rex, 11 August 2011
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