WI News
Middle Lower Upperbury and Upper Middle Lowerbury WIs held a Ben Hur evening in the Pol Pot Memorial Hall, Lower Upper Middlebury. Mrs Gumper's oyster soup went down well. Miss Fippler won best embroidered chariot.
written by Erskin Quint, 02 March 2010
Bishop 'Missing'
Reported missing since Thursday last: The Bishop of Timperley. Described as green-eyed, with mottled verdigris cheeks and spavined knees, he is notable for his rare 'Bakewell Gaiters'. Do not approach.
written by Erskin Quint, 02 March 2010
Grow Your Own Ombudsman
Jessop's Ombudsman Seeding Kits are just the thing for Spring! Just plant in a silty clay loam and water well for pleasing results. Why not have ranked ombudsmen in your front garden?
written by Erskin Quint, 02 March 2010
Service Supper
Former Officers of the Queen's Own Deserters (35th Foot & Mouth) were able to hold their annual St David's Day luncheon as a supper in the Trumpington Yeomanry Officers' Mess, as it had been cleaned up.
written by Erskin Quint, 02 March 2010
Service Luncheon
Former officers of the Queen's Own Deserters (35th Foot & Mouth) were unable to hold their annual St David's Day luncheon in the Trumpington Yeomanry Officers' Mess, as it was far too messy.
written by Erskin Quint, 02 March 2010
SuBo Singing Stones
Susan Boyle to do second Rolling Stone's song for second album. This time it's "Satisfaction".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Where Toyota Has "Lead Foot"
Government Motors (GM) is recalling 1.3 million small cars in North America because of under-inflated tires, one of the things the President warned us against.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Cooking seperates humans from the apes, shame about Gordon Ramsey!
Scientists have proven that only cooking seperates us from our Ape Bretheren, its a shame that Gordon Ramsey has not yet discovered the difference!
written by unknown
"Always Gets A Replay"
Roger Daltrey says "My Generation" not the Who's #1 requested song. "That would be 'The SuBo Wizard'."
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
"Puff" Not #1 Request
Peter Yarrow says that "Puff" not their most requested song over the years. "We had a lot more for "Old Subo Was A Racehorse".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
New Nader Book
Ralph Nader releases his latest book, "A Hitchhikers Guide To Toyotas"!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Quake Hits Iran: U.S. Blamed.
A magnitude 7 earthquake has hit Iran, resulting in millions of casualties and billions of dollars in property damage. The United States has been blamed, and the United Nations is expected to not act.
written by Daniel Bristol, 02 March 2010
Three Goldbricks!
Only five gold bricks found in Fort Knox, Kentucky inspection and they were troops.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Corn Flakes to feature porn cartoons on the back of every box.
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Toucan Sam will become Two-Tit Samantha, a growing boy's best friend!
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Trix will become Twilights, because teen girls will buy anything with that name on it.
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Special K cereal will be marketed as Special Kid, for the teens who ride the short bus.
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
The marshmallow moons in Lucky Charms will resemble the type of moon where you pull down your pants, stick your ass out the car window, and honk the horn.
written by unknown
Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Expands #33
The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like The Police "Message In A Bottle".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Clinton gobsmacked
Ex Pres. Bill Clinton was put on the spot, yet again, by the press. You can guess the question: His answer, "Susan WHO?" Proving my point that he is the dumbest man on this planet.
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Cocoa Krispies boxes will include a free tube of acne cream as their next prize.
written by unknown
Rock & Roll Museum Expands #32
The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Gordon Lightfoot's Old Cotton Jenny's "Penny".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Lucky Charms will become "Did you get Lucky?" Charms
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
All Bran replaced by All Bra, with special vitamins for girls who want to improve their bust line.
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Rice Krispies to offer a free condom in each box
written by unknown
Cereal Manufacturers Go After The Teen Market
Cherrios become Cherry-Ohs, with bits of real hymen (so girls remember what it was like to have one and guys can get familiar with the taste).
written by unknown
Obama likes to chill out with a fine smoke, a six-pack, and good company
drinking smoking pals
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Two Subo Fans Flee Site Clutching Bibles
Two Subo fans fled from their Subo site. They found out they'd been duped by atheists. When last seen they were clutching bibles. It's reported they have entered the Holierthanallofus Wit.Protec.Prog.
written by unknown
'Keyboard Fingers' and "New Ideas" spurns "New Generation of Spyware"
Secret Service agents read Spoofer's spoofs for ideas
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Secret Service Internal Memo
East Anglia University climate hack team observed bugging bottles in Washington, DC liquor stores
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Secret Service Report
"Chinese SECs observed driving up/down Con Av, Penns Av, 15th St NW, 17th St NW - tuning into drunken rave parties in the WH hoping to get the 'juice on the President'."
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
"I spy with my little eye a Chinese"
advanced Bug as in a spy bug or Chinese as in Chinese Take-Out or a combination of the two with the possibility of a Bug in the Chinese.
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Kristian Digby put a bag over his head
during conversation with Gordon Brown
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Al gore - switches track
he's moved onto 'global warming causes global cool down'.
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
For Sale:
Spacious one bedroomed apartment, glorious views, wonderful kitchen, body of BBC presenter in front room. Reduced for quick sale.
written by Earl Grey, 02 March 2010
"Obama warned by doctors to drink less alcohol"
So the check-out line magazine stories about wild drinking parties at the WH are true
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Copying Airlines
Wallyworld to begin charging $1.00 entrance fee to big ass customers who block normal people from aisles.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Fart Czar #3
President Obama appoints new Fart Czar to use spray every two hours in public bathrooms.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Met Office Finally works out that we had a cold winter
"Sack them all".
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Another Czar #2
President Obama appoints Baby Changing Czar to rush into bathrooms to make sure babies are diapered right.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Subo "First Blood" Begins Filming!
She's back but this time it's personal!
written by Lightning Conductor, 02 March 2010
Dog Shit Czar Appointed
President appoints Dog Shit Czar to make sure all animal feces scooped up or heavy government fines will be demanded.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Early Evening, Late Night With Obama
Obama to spell out rebates for energy efficiency. At least three hundred more viewers expected to be bored to death.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
O.J.'s Suit Donated
O.J. Simpson's 'acquittal suit' to be donated to Ripley's Believe It Or Not in Gatlinburg, Tennessee.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Marines Retake Iwo Jima
US Marines land on Iwo Jima to mark anniversary. Each receive a brand new Toyota Camry.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Dishonesty In The Dark
Darkness Begets Dishonesty, Study Finds, as lights get dimmer in Senate, House and White House!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #15
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as dozens fall off Mount Rainer.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gang #14
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as hundreds deported from The Worselands in South Dakota.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #13
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as many discovered skinning dipping in Crater Lake.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #12
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as all four presidents on Mount Rushmore puffing on Marijuana trees.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Surge In Cocaine Use Prompts Medical Review
Doctors say it's really good shit.
written by Earl Grey, 02 March 2010
Gangs #11
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as park rangers find hundreds stoned in Yellowstone.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #10
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as big pink mammoths spotted in Mammoth Cave!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gang #9
Drug gangs taking over US public lands. Yosemite Sam apparently using new 'suffering succotash' recipe!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #8
Drug gangs taking over US public lands! Park rangers say that many found higher than the Redwoods.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #7
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as overdose cases, gang wars start to fill up Death Valley.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #6
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as Hot Springs now 10% Meth.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #5
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as Petrified Forest beginning to mellow a bit.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #4
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as Grand Canyon filled with old needles.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #3
Drug gangs taking over US public lands. Marijuana smoke coming out of Washington, Lincoln's Noses at Mount Rushmore.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs #2
Drug gangs taking over US public lands. Really freaking out over painted desert!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Gangs Taken Over Parks?
Drug gangs taking over US public lands as the Great Smoky Mountains getting even smokier!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Not All Bad News
Tsunami apparently swept away fleeing Geraldo Rivera rushed to Chile To Cover Quake!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Is It 'Spring Forward' Already?
Hello again to Jay Leno, back as 'Tonight' host, from callers. Audience came and left hour and a half before.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Some Positive News
US daredevil smashes Harley-Davidson jump record, right over the sharks.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Consumer Group Sues Everybody They Can Think Of
Consumer group sues insurer over policy changes, canning factory for using smaller cans, cereal factory over smaller packages.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
But Shoot Anything Else That Moves
AP IMPACT: Drug gangs taking over US public lands. Living mostly off poached buffalo.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Who Was That Lone Republican?
Lone Republican Senator blocking a million-plus Americans from receiving unemployment benefits. Leaves a silver bullet to pay a little on new US welfare state.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Lone Senator #2
Lone Republican Senator blocking a million-plus Americans from receiving unemployment benefits. Indian friend blocking building of more Indian casinos.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Lone Senator
Lone Republican Senator blocking a million-plus Americans from receiving unemployment benefits. Dares to ask HOW do we pay for new programs daily.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Ignore The Applicants Also
States may ban credit checks, time in prison on new job applicants.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Global Warming Tragedy
Family suicide over fear of global warming fails to receive apology from Al 'Chicken Little' Gore!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Massive Head, Small Penis
Massive head of pharaoh unearthed in Egypt! Believed to be victim of fake penis head enlargement he had sent for and received in what is now, Nigeria.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
90% Taxes Would Do It
President Obama to address UN on how throwing money after everything will fix it.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Obama:Money, Money, Money
Obama to pitch "cash for caulkers" in Georgia, for the next time "The Lights Go Out In Georgia".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Government Recall
GM recalling 1.3 million vehicles over steering problems after importing parts from Tokyo, Japan.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
The Future's Bright......
It's not orange anymore. Farewell Dr Paisley. You have shouted your last slogan of hatred.
written by Earl Grey, 02 March 2010
"US secretary of State says UK and Argentina should talk 'in a peaceful and productive way'"
Gordon Brown orders two nuclear killer subs into waters between the Falklands and Argentina.
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Obama finally seals 'nuke peace deal' with Iran
Obama gives green light to shipping half of America's vast nuke arsenal to Iran for recycling in their "baby milk formula" factories.
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Weight Watchers Have Question about Fossil Finding that Prehistoric Snakes Ate Baby Dinosaurs
How did the snakes stay so slim?
written by Gail Farrelly, 02 March 2010
Heads Up!
Huge red granite head of Amenhotep III dug up in Egypt. More heads to follow?
written by Gail Farrelly, 02 March 2010
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary . . .
Who the heck cares how your garden grows.
written by Gail Farrelly, 02 March 2010
Mass Hysteria by Subo Fansite Members
Subo would be gobsmacked if she knew how some fans are attacking each other,verbally,on fansites. They're resigning en masse as a result of not being able to laugh on site. Susan loves a good giggle.
written by unknown
SuBo Gangs
You've heard of Biker Gangs showing their colours. Now SuBo fans are showing theirs. Blessed, holier than thou, fanatics are sporting RED. The fun-loving fans of Susan are sporting Purple. And you?
written by unknown
Republican Government
Dem. House Speaker Pelosi has the same relationship with the American people that Louis XVI had with the French people! A Republican Government was established in France following Louis's departure!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
Liberals get it wrong about the "Tea Parties"
Air America (defunct), B. Maher, A. Franken & the Democratic liberal left wing Congressional loons created the Tea party movement! Blame yourselves when the door hits you in the arse on the way out!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
EPA Issues a New Warning Label
The EPA has issued a single new warning label to aid the American people avoid danger. The label "I'm Bad for Your Health" is to be affixed to House Speaker Pelosi!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
Congress Bans Bag Ladies
Congress voted to ban bag ladies & the president will sign the bill. The original bill, sponsored by the EPA, was meant to ban plastic bags. Congress figured they could get two birds with one stone.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
Who says President Obama has Done Nothing?
The Obama administration has screwed up the economy, the military, health care, foreign policy, energy and lost the trust of the American public.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
Hari Kari American Style
Democratic members of the US House are being asked to take a political bullet for House speaker Pelosi by voting for the Senate Health care bill. This is committing political suicide in November 2010.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
Democratic Liberalism Religious Chant
The far left has a chant that goes "ban it, tax it, put a warning label on it and then spend the taxpayer's money on everything else!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
An Old European Proverb Updated
House Speaker Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Reid are Reconciling up a health care reform bill that looks like honey, but smells like s**t!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 02 March 2010
Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Expanding #31
The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like the Beach Boy's "keys to the T-Bird"
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Expanding #30
The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Joni Mitchell's "Big Yellow Taxi".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Expands #29
The R&R Hall of Fame and Museum has fascinating relics like M. Jackson's "Thriller" mask. Soon it'll have space to showcase less flashy artifacts, like Donovan's "e-lec-tri-cal banana"
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
"Whole lotta shakin' goin' on" in the Pacific Rim
Okinawa, Chile, blame problems on resurgence of Jerry Lee Lewis recordings.
written by Wumf, 02 March 2010
Court OKs possesion of firearms in national parks
Bright orange vests will be issued at entrance gates to protect park visitors. Snack shops will offer heavily armed toy Smoky the Bears and different calibers of ammunition for
those caught short.
written by Wumf, 02 March 2010
Vatican Holding Sale To Pay Off Clergy Lawsuits #3
Genuine Iron Maiden and body stretcher moved into attic many years ago, believed to have come from Spain.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Vatican Holding Sale To Pay Off Clergy Lawsuits #2
For Auction: 14 rebuilt, just like new, popemobiles. No water damage!
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Vatican Holding Sale To Pay Off Clergy Lawsuits
Those included in the auction: over 500 Father Dowling Monk's lunch boxes for field trips.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Obama threatens US security
Said Obama: "I'm putting in place a negative feedback loop - the more I go down in the polls the more nuclear weapons I retire from America's nuclear arsenal".
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Usually Caught Them !
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's worst nightmare may be coming true as new book by visiting bagpipe player confirms that Bill would chase anything in a skirt.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Some Jobs Open
Feeniment says there are definitely jobs out there as they have over 100 positions for testers.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
No Two Wails About IT!
Ghost Hunters say that the "Old Comfort Inn Buried Over the Sacred Indian Graveyard" definitely haunted.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Black Panthers overwhelmed by white lightning
They should have known better than to drink out of clay jugs with corks and XXs on the sides.
written by Wumf, 02 March 2010
Chilly Willy, King of the Gypsy Penguins heads North on giant iceberg
Everyone knows that penguins have that "wandering urge" and King Chilly is no different. He is taking his large family on another quest for adventure. Expected landing date in North America-2093
written by Wumf, 02 March 2010
Critics Say It's A Blowout!
Kirstie Alley signs to play in ne film about the 1990's White House scandal, "The Big Lewinsky".
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Greece - We are Idiots
We listened to Rhodri Morgan - then First Minister of the Welsh Assembly Government.
written by Tcoah, 02 March 2010
Factory Explosion #6
Doctors say that all 54 people survived the Bug Spray Factory explosion with only minor injuries. However, they warn that all 54 will sleep on their backs with feet & arms in the air for a month.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Factory Explosion #5
Over 500 people pulled out of beer factory after big explosion there. The factory had employed 75 people. One man pulled out of rubble three different times.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Factory Explosion #4
That big explosion at the Heinz tomato ketchup factory not nearly as bad as first thought. After a clean-up, a dozen ambulances responding to the scene returned empty.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Factory Explosion #3
Super Glue factory explosion leaves 200 workers with their arms glued to their sides, like penguins.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Factory Explosion #2
No one was seriously injured but explosion at Disney World leaves over 300 people acting goofy.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Lincoln's ghost visits Obama in vivid dream
The American President's sleep was disturbed by a vision of the Great Emancipator imploring him to use his freedom and office to bring good to the people and check out a cool bar in downtown D.C.
written by Wumf, 02 March 2010
Factory Explosion
Explosion at plastics factory amazingly leaves no one hurt but over 300 looking like Cher, even the men.
written by Bureau, 02 March 2010
Iceland puts singer Bjork on Ebay for a little extra cash
Country reports no bids yet for the diminutive vocalist.
written by Wumf, 02 March 2010
