Pirates Sue Companies
Media and software pirates sued companies for using the terms Bit Torrent and Peer-to-Peer. The pirates claim that they put creativity into coining these terms, and companies can't use them at will.
Community College Dean Summoned before Congressional Panel
A community college dean faces a congressional panel to answer questions on a shady endorsement scam. Companies had been paying the college to endorse products after merely glancing at photos.
Hacking Can Backfire
China announces that it doesn't have as much American dollars as previously thought. "It was there before great uncle died in Nigeria, leaving me millions", stated new Computer Hacker.
Bank Run A Surprise
Panic run on sperm banks catches everyone by surprise. FDIC says it's not their problem.
President Obama had announced that VP Biden would take up residence in former VP Cheney's secret hideaway while h2 was on any trips. But first, pest control must drive out 10,000 bed bugs Cheney left.
Vice President Biden has put his foot in it again. He told reporters that, yes, the new healthcare will cost taxpayers a bundle. "But they can cut down on food, look how fat they are."
Gore Telling Truth?
Al Gore finally admits that he did not invent the internet. However, he still insists that he invented Global Warming Nonsense!
Growing Trend in Japan
Young men in Japan are obsessed with bayonets. They saw American soldiers in movies use those weapons with honor and discipline, and now have replica bayonets hanging on the walls in their rooms.
Oh, Where Is She, Biden?
National Red Cross wants to know where the present US authority are keeping it's prisoners? "Just where have you gotten Ms. Condoleezza rice?"
M. Night Shyamalan's Super Twist
M. Night Shyamalan unveils ultimate twist: His last three movies were actually directed by Uwe Boll. He needed the time to create the ultimate thriller. There's hope yet.
Cartoon Revelations #6
Mates of famous cartoon characters tell about how they behave at home: Mrs Pinocchio: "Talk about wood, Pokehole has it. Plus, I can always make him lie!"
Cartoon Revelations #5
Mates of famous cartoon characters tell about how they behave at home: Mrs LePew: "Smell? Name me one person in France that DOESN'T smell, Sweetie!"
Cartoon Revelations #4
Mates of famous cartoon characters tell about how they behave at home: Mrs. Leghorn: "Foghorn's all mouth! He also has that, I say, that speech impediment. But he's a great flocker!"
Cartoon Revelations #3
Mates of famous cartoon characters tell about how they behave at home: Mrs Batman: Believe me, Robin is no threat even in that tight outfit. Ever do it while hanging upside down?"
Cartoon Revelations #2
Mates of famous cartoon characters tell about how they behave at home: Mrs Speedy Gonzales: "He will certainly slow down when I ask him to."
Mates of famous cartoon characters tell about how they behave at home: Mrs Wimpy: "Actually Wimpy pays cash on the barrel head! Not much in the sack, unless you promise a hamburger after the cuddle."
OK, Who's The Clown?
Archaeologists "intrigued" by the discovery of a box of girl scout cookies inside just discovered pyramid in the jungles of Brazil. Natives laugh sides off.
Fake Bailout Request
Talk Show Radio request for a bailout makes Dems so mad they walk out. Their full comments and cheering by radio hosts who were faking it will be featured on all major talk shows tomorrow.
Miss Universe Upset
The current Miss Universe, Stefanía Fernández, slapped a reporter today as he jibbed "it looks like the universe is still expanding".
That Sounds Familiar
Even Democrats get spooked today as President Obama referred to the health care bill as "The Mother Of All Health Care Bills!"
The Dog Ate That Page
During today's daily argument in the House and the Senate, it came as a shock to many that the health care bill has been modified so many times that NO ONE knows what's in it for sure.
Tiniest man in the world dies after attempting sex on a bar stool!
Mr.Pingpong, better known as TINY TIM, has died after attempting to have sex with a long-legged raunchy pole dancer on a bar stool, he slipped, hit the floor and ended up STIFF!
Playboy TV (fav channel of Spoof writers) target new audiences, Kiddies channels!
Playboy TV are planning on sending their raunchy programmes out on kiddies TV channels, they've already tested in the US and the response, well, was pretty COOL, the kids loved it and so did DAD!
Man Has Date With A Banana
He said they tasted "Lovely" but not as yummy as "apples and plumbs".
I Never Tell Lies
...Little Jimmy told his mother without much success.
Cleaning the Dishes With the Cat is better for the Enviroment
...or so claimed Little Jimmy to his mother, once again
Wanking helps Cure Headaches
...or so Little Jimmy told his mother.
Pissing in your Shoe is latest Kids Craze
...or so Little Jimmy told his mother.
Ambassors are Spolt
Chocolate maker Ferrero Rocher deny any knowledge of this.
Following their extension of the 1st amendment to give corporations the right to fund politics freely, the Supreme Court is about to extend the 2nd amendment to let individuals own nukes.
Friends Stick Together
A prankster with a tube of super-glue was later arrested.
Boys Will Be Boys
Bill Clinton sneaked into the White House and flushed the toilet while Obama was in the Shower. Obama plans to retaliate simply by telling Hilary about the prank.
Entenders Can Sneak Up on You
Rachel Ray just realized she had been making soft porn all along. Her only regret: She could have been covering the meat with surround wrap and made sex-ed videos instead.
Recognizing Those Who Came Before
Obama organizes reunion of all actors who played black U.S. presidents. Joe Biden also called for a reunion of those who had played retarded VPs.
More Toyota Problems #6
Toyota owner claims his Toyota not only ran away, but Bonsia trees keep sprouted overnight in the ash tray.
More Toyota Problems #5
Toyota owner claims his Toyota not only ran away but clowns keep crawling out from under the back seat and coming up front!
More Toyota Problems #4
Toyota owner claims his Toyota not only ran away but no matter what station she puts her radio on, it plays "My Little Runaway" by Del Shannon".
More Toyota Trouble #3
Toyota owner claims his Toyota not only ran away but, instead of voice saying 'Your door is not closed', it states 'your barn door is open!'
They Must Taste Their Own Medicine
A group of ingenious civil liberties advocates have tracked down a dominatrix who is patronized by right-wing politicians, and convinced her to add water-boarding to routine.
More Toyota Trouble #2
Toyota owner claims his Toyota not only ran away but his side window foggers don't work!
More Toyota Trouble
Toyota owner claims his Toyota not only ran away but the GPS system began screaming something about "Hari Kari!"
Charlie Brown Bumped #6
After Charlie Brown Show knocked off the air for an Obama speech, others discovered that met the same fate & never on TV: "That Was Shroeder's Only Yanni Number, Why Did You Shoot Him, Charlie Brown?"
Charlie Brown Dumped #5
After Charlie Brown Christmas was knocked off the air for an Obama speech, others discovered that met the same fate & never on TV: "You Kicked Lucy's Ass Instead Of The Ball On Purpose, Charlie Brown"
Charlie Brown Bumped #4
After Charlie Brown Christmas was knocked off the air for an Obama speech, others discovered that met the same fate & never on TV: "A Big Owl Got Snoopy Last Night, Charlie Brown!"
Charlie Brown Bumped #3
After Charlie Brown Christmas was knocked off the air for an Obama speech, others discovered that met the same fate & never on TV: "How Many Salvation Army Zig-Zag Shirts Do You Have, Charlie Brown?"
Charlie Brown Bumped #2
After Charlie Brown Holiday was knocked off the air for an Obama speech, others discovered that met the same fate & never on TV: "So She Wasn't A Real Red Head, Why Slash Your Wrists, Charlie Brown?"
Charlie Brown Bumped!
After Charlie Brown Christmas was knocked off the air for an Obama speech, others discovered that met the same fate & never on TV: "Why Are You Hiding That Old National Geographic, Charie Brown?"
Scientist prove that there are no GAY monkeys only lesbians or female BI's
Monkeys observing human males and females undressed only were interested in the FEMALES proving that male apes are not GAY and females like a bit of both, SO WHAT!
Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra of Venezuala
Horror of horrors, if all the trumpets are melted down, we shall never hear these kids playing Danzon No 2 again. Where's my download gone?
written by Nae mair crap, 17 March 2010
"We've Only Just Begun"
Knoller: National Debt Up $2 Trillion on Obama's Watch. After four years, it will take five generations to repay.
Thieves grab $75 million in prescription medicines. Couple are extremely upset as they are rushed to the hospital.
Rush Of Phone Calls
House phone lines were nearing capacity Tuesday as conservative talk radio host Rush Limbaugh encouraged fans to call in objections on healthcare legislation. "Even losing now means winning in Nov!"
Pelosi Handing Out Fringe Benefits
Pelosi Calls All Female Dems to Meeting Wednesday. Bill Clinton also to attend.
Kucinich, pockets stuffed with money, now decides to vote 'yes' on health care.
Now On Train Shit List
Musician kicked off train for writing the word 'Killers'... as he scribbled list of his favourite farts.
If you're enjoying the craic tonight but you're not really Irish, identify yourself by wearing a Guinness hat.
96 Years In Same House
Home sweet home for pensioner who has lived in same house for 96 YEARS! "If it was good enough for me, it's good enough for me", she tells everyone.
A Rough One
Winter bids a wet and windy farewell fart yet as storm blows in!
Found Her Voice
Widow, 92, finally wins right to kick out daughter and son-in-law from house they share... after not speaking for EIGHT years. We're only 72 and on our own", laments daughter.
Fat Asses Also!
Mother's outrage as healthy five-year-old son weighing 4st is branded obese by NHS. "They're a bunch of fat heads!"
That's My Judgement
Boots lab technicians who hoarded photos of customers' naked children for 12 years, given three years of going naked in prison.
Former friends of Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad say he only wants nuclear weapons to impress the babes.
Neighbors say that since Jack Kevorkian learned to put suicide machine into reverse, he's the most popular guy on the block.
Rapper Down For Six!
Rapper DMX ordered to 6 months in Phoenix jail which is the minimum requirement to becoming a well-known rapper.
Arteries Usually Improve!
Arteries improve after smokers quit, study finds. "Except when the smoker quit because of death, of course."
"On Your Feet, Slacker!"
British hospitals: No sitting allowed! Patients must either lie down or roam the halls.
Meow Meow - killer truth
A big cat in England has been named the cause of recent deaths. If you see this cat, don't try and sniff it. It doesn't like it.
Bernanke Having Little Success
Fed. Chairman Bernanke says that despite his best efforts, Americans continue to inflat.
Wearing Down Of The Green
Obama, Irish leaders celebrate St. Patrick's by the President throwing away green money from limousine, House, Senate!
Recent cases show challenge of US terrorists, most of whole are in Washington DC, bankrupting the nation!
Prison Numbers Drop!
State prison numbers drop for 1st time since 1972. "Ten to a cell is about all we can handle", says one warden.
Fuss Over Parliamentary Rule!
House leaders joust over use of parliamentary rule. May appeal to the Supreme Obama!
"Under Cowell's Thumb"
Tim Urban couldn't get any satisfaction on "American Idol" last night."
Cashing In His Chips!
A second suspect in poker heist surrenders to authorities!
Last Thing They Heard
New study shows that a lot of golfers knocked out by a wayward ball, come to with a cry of "FORE!!!"
Get Raeady For A Lot Of Pineapples
Hawaii considering law to ignore Obama 'birthers', receive large contribution for pineapple crop.
Immigrants Avoid Cities
New immigrants avoiding big cities, Arkansas study finds.
New Troop Training
Army drops bayonets, busts abs, sweat to the golden oldies, in training revamp.
Health Premiums Would Rise
FACT CHECK: Premiums would rise under Obama plan. Unlike all the other government plans that have been so successful and cheap!
Fiji Hit Hard
Fiji cyclone damage overwhelming, leader says. Many mourn> Al Gore waving 'Global Warming' flag before cameras!
It's One Of A Kind
Guinness Book Of Records admit that hearse driver Joe Miller of Allentown, Pennsylvania the first on record to die from infection after a paper cut from a toe tag.
Arkansas mortician fired after posing bodies in action poses! "You get tired of those same silly smiles", says Claude Baccup!
New Stephen King Novel #9
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "The CPA, That Made Them All Pay!"
New Stephen King Novel #8
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "The Shit-Eating Tumble Bugs Of Yucca Mountain"
New Stephen King Novel #7
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "Carrie Comes Back To Old Virginy"
New Stephen King Novel #6
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "Danse Macarena"
New Stephen King Novel #5
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "The Red Zone Of Brett Favre"
New Stephen King Novel #4
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "Children Of The Cornpones"
New Stephen King Novel #3
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "Starfarter!"
New Stephen King Novel #2
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "Gagging Boners"
New Stephen King Novel
The latest 1500-page Stephen novel not all that scary: "The Tubby Knockers".
Cure for tiredness
Scientists have found a cure for tiredness they're calling it sleep, apparently it's best used as prevention rather than cure
DC Doughnuts Cleared
Double Cream Doughnuts accused of selling pot on the side completely cleared by police who say that at least one of them were in there every minute over the past month.
That Can't Be Good
Home Security Czar hurriedly posted Code: Red this morning and jumped on the first plane to Australia.
They Can See Better At Night
Morlocks say they saw strange UFO lights in the sky last night that made them scurry back underground.
Picking up Points
Ralph Nader promised a cool Toyota auto overview in the 2012 presidential campaign by Obama.
Avoid This Movie #29
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Sho-Stank Redemption!"
Avoid This Movie #28
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Dial M For 'Messsed My Pants"
Duh, Tarmac Insanity Repeated Again in NY
How hard is it for airline company management to come up with a set of procedures to get people off a stranded airliner, rather than let them sit 16 hours on the aircraft?
Obama's 2012 Election Campaign Slogan
President Obama's new campaign slogan for far left wing Democratic supporters "Sit on your fat ass, the federal government will provide everything eventually!
A veterinarian specializing in felines, who was not hired by Playboy Magazine has filed a lawsuit! The company's defense lawyer said "the doctor didn't know anything about our kind of pussy!"
Hind Sight is Always so Easy
Democratic liberal left winger Tom Hanks bashes the USA, 65 years later, about racism in the Pacific with respect to WWII and the Japanese. I guess he never heard of Pearl Harbor!
Avoid This Movie $27
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Night Of The Grunter"
Hind Sight is not really 20-20
Hind sight is very overrated because the person using it is politically staring backwards out their asshole at the historical situation!
Food Police Hurt in Accident
Three food policemen were sent to arrest the 600 lb woman who wants to become 1000 lbs. One is suffering a hernia, the second has been flattened and the third just cannot be found!
Democratic left wing liberal loons say "we should have passed health care reform last labor day, last fall, last Thanksgiving or last winter! Those pesky American citizens keep getting in the way!"
Avoid This Movie #25
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "The Sixth Scents"
Avoid This Movie #24
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Try Hard!"
Avoid This Movie #23
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Bravefart"
Avoid This Movie #22
Code red: Doctors say Do Not go see this movie after eating baked beans at school or cookout: "Wheretogo!"