The Truth About Black Forest Gateau
Abi Quintilla's new novella Throes provides the missing link between incest in 17th century fenland Cambridgeshire and Nick Clegg's conscience.
written by Erskin Quint, 10 December 2010
Cam Newton Can't Spell Heisman
Cam Newton can throw a football, but he can't spell Heisman, so that might disqualify him from winning the award--if academics mattered in college sports.
written by UWGB-Beek, 10 December 2010
Dan Rather Sick of Blogging
Dan Rather is mad as hell that he is stuck blogging and writing drivel for the blogosphere. "I was once a respected journalist, doing important work--now I am doing crap work." he said on Twitter.
written by UWGB-Beek, 10 December 2010
M.I.T. mathmetician solves health woe
Fred Dinggle, a Mathematics Professor at MIT, treated himself for constipation yesterday. Apparently, he worked it out with a slide rule.
written by Dax L'Amour, 10 December 2010
Obama And Congress Celebrate Tax Cuts and Spending Hikes
Wearing party hats made in China, leaders toasted President Bush. Asked about the deficit, one member shouted "I'll drink to that." Representatives from future generations were unable to attend.
written by kslaught, 10 December 2010
Eco-tivists plan to confront rioting students
"All these open fires leave a deplorable carbon footprint. Penguins and polar bears and icebergs shouldn't suffer because them!"
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Assange on WikiLeaks:
"I wasn't going to publish the433 3gsw='kgft'
mG"Macbeth
op0t==
'm, but then the cat stepped on the keyboard."
written by Moby, 10 December 2010
Top Tip:
Guitarists: if you have an electric guitar, don't play it plugged in while bathing.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 December 2010
Jim Morrison Pardoned
Florida - "Glad we can finally close that door!"
written by Moby, 10 December 2010
FAA loses track of 119000 Planes
"Maybe we should pat down the other pants?"
written by Moby, 10 December 2010
General Appearance
A medium size sighthound giving the appearance of elegance and fitness, denoting great speed, power and balance without coarseness. A true sporting hound...
Ahem. Oops. Misread this as "WHIPPETS"!
written by SpaceElevator, 10 December 2010
Jenn Sterger's Amazing Christmas Card From Brett Favre
Jenn Sterger says that she received a Christmas card from Brett Favre that was addressed simply: To The Bitch.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Airline Pilots Sign A Very Unique Pat Down Agreement
Airline pilots have agreed that in lieu of getting patted down by TSA agents they will instead just simply pat down each other.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Judge Judy's Racial Remark Gets Her Reprimanded
Television's Judge Judy has been reprimanded for referring to a black defendant as an Uncle Tom. Judge Judy stated, "But the man is named Tom and I'm sure that he's some one's uncle."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
President Obama's Fantastic Plan To Generate Income
President Obama has stated that in order to generate some Federal income he will be looking into selling the Mississippi River to a group of Chinese investors.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Miley Cyrus Has Turned 18 And Can Now Do All Kinds of Things
Miley Cyrus has stated that now that she has turned 18 and is of legal age that she can give lap dances all friggin day if she wants to.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Attendance Meltdown
Punters don't know what to make of Madame Tussaud's following thermostat malfunction.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Fun Spoilt
Cameron/Clegg 'Baby It's Cold Outside' duet at Royal Variety Performance cancelled due to student riots.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Cameron invokes daylight savings time early in bid to pre-empt more student riots
Believes they won't get out of bed if it's day time.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Those wankers tried to roll my Rolls I'd tell 'em wat r u gawpin' at I'll fookin' bang yer owt.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Student Protestors Attack Charles and Camilla's Car
Couple unharmed, but happy they didn't take the carriage tonight.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Circle the Wagons
Queen to devote entire to Christmas message to telling everybody how great Kate Middleton is.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Sue Me Truly
Lawyers plan lawsuits against TV viewers who turn off the incessant commercials about bad drugs, wanting on/off switches removed. The ACLU and environmentalists defend the use of on/off switches!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Strange Sightings
Beings that appear in myths, legends, or as reported sightings include Nessie, Bigfoot, Yeti, Chupacabra, Washington DC's Obamable Snow-Job and Alaska's Palin Grizzly Mama.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Free Speech Liberal Style
The Democratic far left liberal idea of the other persons "free speech/first amendment rights" is that the ober-liberals opponents have to "shut up!"
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Lots of Protein
Michelle Obama's Food Nutrition bill for reducing childhood obesity includes providing Polar Bear meat, as part of school lunch programs. That's what the 187,000 sq. mile habitat is to be used for!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Political Red Meat
President Obama sends VP Biden to talk to US House Democratic far left liberals about the Bush tax cut compromise. Now you know how the Christians felt when they entered the Coliseum & saw the lions!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
New Occupants are Coming
New US House leadership plans to appropriate $10,000 to fumigate the chamber, prior to convening in January 2011. There may still be some traces of the blue far left liberal virus hiding in corners.
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Come Back and Haunt Pelosi
HS Pelosi is upset over value of the estate tax part of the Bush tax cut compromise. Not only is the government in your pants & fondling you, now they're trying to take your posterity's inheritance!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Crash and Burn
House speaker Pelosi advises House Democratic far left liberals to buy asbestos underwear. As they may be planning to go down in flames over the Bush tax cuts, might as well be prepared!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Rabid House Democrats
Washington DC veterinarians run out of distemper shots for House Democratic far left liberals. They are still foaming at the mouth over Pres. Obama's Bush tax cut compromise with Senate Republicans!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
We Got Short-Changed
USA vanquishes the USSR 20 years ago in the Cold War. Pres. Obama and the Democratic far left liberal Congress ruin the USA economically in two years of useless ideologically driven over spending!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
Obama's Method of "Decreasing" Foreign Oil Dependence
A barrel of oil cost $33 when President Obama was inaugurated and now costs upwards of $88. President Obama then bans oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico and protects Polar Bear habitat (oil areas)!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 10 December 2010
