There were 1,348 spoof news snippets published in December 2010. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Top Tip:
Women - be aware that telepathy is, in fact, extremely rare. Don't take a chance with the man in your life - if you want something, use spoken words, don't just think at him.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 02 December 2010
Top Tip:
Men - be careful, especially when shaving, not to slice open your carotid artery. It will not end well for you.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 01 December 2010
Thought For The Day:
Going to Hell in a handcart? Not me! If I've gotta go, I'm going in a Maserati!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 03 December 2010
Top Tip:
Have another drink - it'll make you feel better.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 04 December 2010
Merkel Resists Eurozone Proposals
Doesn't fancy anyone and sees herself in the role of a German Elizabeth I - the Virgin Chancellor!
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 06 December 2010
Top Tip:
Guitarists: if you have an electric guitar, don't play it plugged in while bathing.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 10 December 2010
Top Tip:
Virgins - if you wish to maintain your status, avoid sexual congress.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 11 December 2010
Top Tip:
When solving crosswords, remember: you can only write one letter in a box where answers cross.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 15 December 2010
Top Tip:
Renaissance poetry lovers - if you don't understand Italian, make sure you buy a relevant translation of Dante.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 14 December 2010
Report: 87% of Populace Unsure What to Do In Hypothetical Situations
LONDON - According to a report by Imperial Col., nearly 90% of people don't know what to do in a hypothetical situation. Also, nine in four people don't know ratios, and 5-thirds don't know fractions.
written by Inhopeless, 20 December 2010
Thought For The Day:
Boobee-doo do do ... pom te pompom. Tramps like us... what? Oh sorry, tuned out there for a mo... where were we? Ah, yes - the significance of faster-than-light travel in the works of Jane Austen...
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 December 2010
Top Tip:
Vegetarians - while it will probably cause you no harm, be aware that eating meat will mean you should no longer label yourself "vegetarian."
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 18 December 2010
Snippet KIng Writes Snippet
A man who, only last week, was proclaimed Snippet King on the satirical news website TheSpoof.com has, this morning, written a snippet.
written by Monkey Woods, 20 December 2010
Moodys in Sharp Irish Downgrade
"I can't see us playing Dublin or Belfast again any time soon," said lead singer and guitarist Justin Hayward.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 17 December 2010
US Military Switches To Ham Radio.
The US Military has switched to ham radio for use in Iraq and Afghanistan. "This way, Muslims can't listen in," says President Obama.
written by anthonyrosania, 31 December 2010
New Chain Steakhouses to Open Soon
1000 new jobs will be created next year when a chain of 50 Elvis Presley-themed steakhouses will open across the country. They will be especially for people who love meat tender.
written by IN SEINE, 07 December 2010
The oldest trick in the book
A 72-year-old prostitute who works in a residential home in Swindon has got her name printed in the telephone directory. She claims to be the "Oldest Trick in the Book"
written by IN SEINE, 30 December 2010
Midwives Call For "Seismic Shift"
"I, for one, am fed up to the back teeth with the way the continents look. Every year, in the atlas, everything's the same. It's time for a change," says top midwife Felicia Fontanelle.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
Terrorists Do Something Good for Once, Blow Up X-Factor
LONDON - Intellectuals rejoiced in Britain today, as Ali Ibrahim destroyed the studios of ITV's X-Factor talent show. The police are treating the attack as 'accidental', and will not preceed further.
written by Inhopeless, 11 December 2010
Sniffer Snakes
The RCMP are using snakes in order to sniff out any explosives being smuggled into Canada. Snakes are known to have 50 times greater sense of smell than humans. These snakes will be known as Mountie Pythons.
written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
John Travolta to Host "Homosexuals In Denial Who Believe In Aliens From Outer Space" Convention in 2011.
John Travolta to Host "Homosexuals In Denial Who Believe In Aliens From Outer Space" Convention in 2011. Tom Cruise will be a keynote speaker.
written by anthonyrosania, 08 December 2010
So Farewell, Captain Beefheart.
Sorry - I only saw your obits today.
And sorry - I just never got it, although I gather I should have.
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 20 December 2010
Palin slams MapQuest as useless
"Doesn't even have a country like Scandinavia."
written by Catherine the Average, 02 December 2010
Matchstick Mugger Urgently Sought
Milton Keynes Police want to catch a man who has robbed at least 4 people over the Christmas period. He threatens them with a lighted match and police would like to catch him before he strikes again!
written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
England Lose 2018 World Cup
Sorry, that should read 'England Lose Out On 2018 World Cup', bloody predictive text...
written by Nick Hobbs, 03 December 2010
Spoof News Competition Won by News Corporation's FOX News/Sun Tabloid
LOS ANGELES - At the 2010 Journalist Press Corps Convention, website TheSpoof.com came joint second with The Onion in catagory: Spoof News. First place won by News Corp's FOX News and the Sun tabloid.
written by Inhopeless, 06 December 2010
92-year old woman says she's still looking for love
and her glasses.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
The Spoof Welcomes H&R Block Back As An Advertiser!
The Spoof Welcomes H&R Block Back As An Advertiser! In related news, The Spoof writer Anthonyrosania will be on 'vacation' until April 15th, 2011.
written by anthonyrosania, 11 December 2010
Wikileaks Report: Sarah Palin Can See Russia And Guess Who Else From Her Front Porch?
Sarah Palin reportedly told Sean Hannity that she can see Wikileaks' Julian Assange from her front porch in Wasilla, Alaska.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Bad Headline Number 73
Defendant's Speech Ends In Long Sentence
written by IN SEINE, 14 December 2010
Future News: DFS Sale Still On (published 2056)
EARTH - DFS, furniture store, still has sale from 1990. However, DFS exposed as Gfagotn plot to overthrow United Federation of Planets. War is now started.
written by Inhopeless, 26 December 2010
Fire Damages Belgian Beer Abbey
EIF News & Features staff in panic buying spree...
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
At Camilla's age, an unexpected poke is a good thing.
written by Catherine the Average, 12 December 2010
US Cables cite Canadian insecurity
Canada delighted to be noticed.
written by Catherine the Average, 02 December 2010
Delta-Grinch says about 500 Christmas Day flights will be canceled as storm heads east.
Millions of kids will hear 'Grandma is still at the airport' as Delta-Grinch says about 500 Christmas Day flights will be canceled as storm heads east. "Starbucks scones for Christmas dinner."
written by anthonyrosania, 24 December 2010
Scientists claim three times as many stars as originally believed
Reality television blamed.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Snowfall will not harm UK economy
Bank of England says: "A corpse can't catch a cold, can it?"
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Royal Family capitalizes on snow fall
Duchess of York relocated to grace and favour igloo.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Hugh Hefner Spends a Fortune on Telephone Calls...
... voting for 23-year-old playmate, Kayla, in I'm a celebrity, get me out of here!
written by IN SEINE, 02 December 2010
Bright side to FIFA balls up
One less visit from Posh.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
New government plan to clear roads
Princess Anne to glare at snow.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Blue Red Tops
UK tabloids saddened and frustrated by persistent Wills/Kate happiness.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
174 Eclipse Viewers Killed By Robert Pattison / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.
174 Eclipse viewers were killed by the DVD commentary by Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart.
"We believe they died of abject boredom," said the medical examiner.
written by anthonyrosania, 03 December 2010
The World's Most Wanted Man!
Forget Osama bin Laden... nobody has yet found him. Julian Assange is now the world's most wanted man - and that is not according to Wikileaks.
written by IN SEINE, 02 December 2010
A New Book Comes out Today
A possible best-selling book is to be published today: it is called "The Art of Masturbation" by a Mexican author --Juan King
written by IN SEINE, 08 December 2010
Jenn Sterger's Amazing Christmas Card From Brett Favre
Jenn Sterger says that she received a Christmas card from Brett Favre that was addressed simply: To The Bitch.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Tiger Woods Dating Kate Gosselin
Tiger Woods is reportedly dating baby-factory and asian-fetishist Kate Gosselin. "Think of how ugly those kids would be!" say friends.
written by anthonyrosania, 05 December 2010
West Loathian fears over seismic event unfounded
Neighbours aid Susan Boyle after fall on icy pavement.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Game changer?
Prince Charles' secret delight Wills couldn't win World Cup for UK.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
2 for 2
Santa Claus dumps UK from itinerary after World Cup loss.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
International Relations Shattered by Revelations
US insults leave G20 now somewhere between G9 and G12.
written by Catherine the Average, 02 December 2010
Gordon Brown to Deliver Channel 4's Alternative Christmas Message
Record high ratings anticipated for Queen.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
I could've charmed us 2018. Don't send a boy to do a man's work, eh?
written by Catherine the Average, 05 December 2010
UK's Top Ten Winter Driving Tips Delayed
due to road closures.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Petty is the new diplomacy
WikiLeaks resentment so poisons international relations No. 10 won't congratulate Russia over World Cup hosting win.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
174 Eclipse Viewers Killed By Robert Pattison / Kristen Stewart DVD Commentary.
174 Eclipse viewers were killed by the DVD commentary by Robert Pattison and Kristen Stewart.
"We believe they died of abject boredom," said the medical examiner.
written by anthonyrosania, 03 December 2010
Britain's Most Hated Christmas Song Is...
"I'm dreaming of a White Christmas" by Bing Crosby -- looks like his dreams have come true!
written by IN SEINE, 23 December 2010
Say Bro, Can You Pass Me The Watermelon Please?
The Order of National Food Ingredients has just announced that contrary to widely held beliefs, watermelons do not contain any water whatsoever.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Bad Headline Number 72
Dog Owner Ordered To Pay $1,000 To Bite Victim
written by IN SEINE, 13 December 2010
Tiger Woods Is Contemplating Retiring
Tiger Woods has become so disgusted with his golf game that he is thinking about retiring. He remarked he plans on becoming a professional wrestler so he can get his self-pride and self-respect back.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
The Reason Italy Has Banned 'Facebook'
Italy has banned Facebook. Apparently it has something or other to do with the Witness Protection Program.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
"But The Name On The Menu Says Maine Lobsters"
Maine facing a lobster shortage is having to import them from North Dakota lobster farms.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
The World's Only Federal Prison With An Official Musical Instrument
The vuvuzela has just been named as the official musical instrument of Nairobi, Kenya's Tarzan and Jane Federal Prison.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
The International Food Federation's Amazing Sardine Mandate
The International Food Federation is discouraging people in Denmark, Norway, and Sweden from eating sardines that blink on and off, smell like a thermometer, and cackle like an egg-laying hen.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Miley Cyrus Has Turned 18 And Can Now Do All Kinds of Things
Miley Cyrus has stated that now that she has turned 18 and is of legal age that she can give lap dances all friggin day if she wants to.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
President Obama's Fantastic Plan To Generate Income
President Obama has stated that in order to generate some Federal income he will be looking into selling the Mississippi River to a group of Chinese investors.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
The low pressure super system that stole Christmas
Snowed in, Britain forced to cancel holidays.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Ultimate WikiLeaks Shock
Secret recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken to be released soon.
written by Catherine the Average, 07 December 2010
Palin pleads confusion as shots ricochet off neighbours' homes
"I was house huntin'! That's still legal in this country, ain't it?"
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Bathroom Burglar Caught
The police in Huddersfield caught a burglar last night after he broke into a bathroom window, stood on a set of scales and gave himself a weigh. He was both heavy-handed and light fingered.
written by IN SEINE, 11 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Those wankers tried to roll my Rolls I'd tell 'em wat r u gawpin' at I'll fookin' bang yer owt.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Attendance Meltdown
Punters don't know what to make of Madame Tussaud's following thermostat malfunction.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Hosepipe Ban Forecast
The UK weather Centre in London has forecast a hosepipe ban for Christmas day. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
written by IN SEINE, 23 December 2010
LeAnn Rimes Absolutely Hates The Name of Her Upcoming Christmas Music TV Special
LeAnn Rimes says that she would appreciate it if ABC would change the name of her upcoming Christmas Music Special which is titled, The LeAnn Rimes' Merry 'Husband-Stealing' Christmas Special.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Black Mamba Spotted Emerging from Linford's Lunchbox
A Black Mamba frightened many of the celebrities in the jungle today. It was thought that it had come from Linford Christie's lunchbox which he left behind when left the program. Nobody was hurt.
written by IN SEINE, 02 December 2010
Thatcher abandons Cameron
"Not nearly unkind enough."
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Sour Note
Royal Variety organizers declined Cameron and Clegg offer to sing duet at December 10th event.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
Just back from stables. Gave horses Sainsbury's hays-of-the-world advent calendar.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
The Incredible Trait Found In Female Russian Spies
Why is it that in all of the years of capturing female Russian spies, the United States has never once captured an ugly one?
written by Abel Rodriguez, 28 December 2010
Bad Headline Number 75
Baby Born With Moustache. Mother Tickled To Death.
written by IN SEINE, 28 December 2010
Pretty Isn't Everything
Young Miliband dogged by rumours that party coup is in the offing.
written by Catherine the Average, 05 December 2010
Cameron invokes daylight savings time early in bid to pre-empt more student riots
Believes they won't get out of bed if it's day time.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Judge Judy's Racial Remark Gets Her Reprimanded
Television's Judge Judy has been reprimanded for referring to a black defendant as an Uncle Tom. Judge Judy stated, "But the man is named Tom and I'm sure that he's some one's uncle."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
WikiLeaks gets personal
Hillary Clinton beauty secrets to be revealed tomorrow.
written by Catherine the Average, 03 December 2010
Nearly One In Five To Reach 100
Calm down... nearly 1 in 5. That's more than 4 in 5 won't. You and I know who will, don't we?
written by Ellis Ian Fields, 30 December 2010
The Sexiest Nude Stamps In America
The United States Post Office has stated that in order to stimulate stamp sales it will be issuing stamps showing a nude Megan Fox.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Susan Boyle, Alias SuBo, To Change Her Name
Susan Boyle has told the BBC that she plans on changing her last name from Boyle to the not-so-bad sounding Boil.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 04 December 2010
Cat Fight Brewing?
SuBo's Pebbles rumoured to have signed recording contract.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Three Damn Good Reasons Why The Tea Bag Party Membership Is Skyrocketing!
The Tea Bag Party membership has really shot up in ranks since they began allowing Ku Klux Klaners, the Taliban, and Illegal Aliens.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 December 2010
Fun Spoilt
Cameron/Clegg 'Baby It's Cold Outside' duet at Royal Variety Performance cancelled due to student riots.
written by Catherine the Average, 10 December 2010
Brazilian Taxi Driver Shot Outside Club
A Brazilian taxi driver was shot Christmas morning outside of a club in Sao Paolo, Brasil.
"Bad news, he was killed," says police. "Good news is he doesn't have to live in Brasil anymore."
written by anthonyrosania, 26 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
V. excited to realise Susan Boyle is a dead wringer for the Crown-Princess of Ostrieflander-Abel-Berlich, one of my favourite 17th century German relations!
written by Catherine the Average, 05 December 2010
WikiLeaks! WikiLeaks! WikiLeaks!
Climate Change, Gold Price "feel like Jan Brady"
written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
"And just what the hell were you thinking?"
Having demonstrated promise during speeches, Prince Andrew engaged to act as substitute host of Jeremy Kyle show.
written by Catherine the Average, 01 December 2010
Airline Pilots Sign A Very Unique Pat Down Agreement
Airline pilots have agreed that in lieu of getting patted down by TSA agents they will instead just simply pat down each other.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 December 2010
Attention Span Deficits Hit UK News Cycle
Fifa is the new WikiLeaks
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
Princess Anne Tweet
You don't follow do you? Andrew and I don't give a toss what you think.
written by Catherine the Average, 04 December 2010
