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President Obama Hires A&E's Billy the Exterminator

yep, you guessed it--to get rid of the vermin on Wall Street.

written by Charpa93, 27 April 2010

Labour Votes Crash on the News that

Gordon Brown announces he will quit if he is not "re-elected"

written by Tcoah, 27 April 2010

Iconic Hollywood sign saved by Heffner

Soft Porn Czar Hugh Hefner donates funds to save the sign overlooking Tinseltown with a caveat: a y was added making the new symbol of glittz and glamour: HOLLYWOODY!

written by Cuff, 27 April 2010

Classifieds - Cat

For sale, a tabby cat, female. Answers to the name Leo, a little aggressive. It has eaten my guinea pig, the dog and my wife. I really miss that guinea pig. £50 or nearest offer.

written by IainB, 27 April 2010

Classifieds - Compass

For Sale: antique compass, once belonged to Christopher Columbus. Not surprised he got lost, no matter which way I turn it, the arrow always points in one direction, hence £1.

written by IainB, 27 April 2010

Orienteering conference

This year's orienteering conference will be held at 102º11º34º. Just by the dead tree.

written by IainB, 27 April 2010

NASA arrests

Technician admits to parlor games - he and others put their finger-prints on Spirit and Opportunity - just removed a glove when no one was looking, and YAM BAM - it literally went to Mars.

written by Tcoah, 27 April 2010

'What Life Without Sex Looks Like'

Fill in the blank

written by Tcoah, 27 April 2010

Simon Cowell to miss Britain's got talent auditions

Simon Cowell is to miss the Britain's Got Talent first round auditions next year, as many people reckon he would not get past the first round.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Nudists from all over country go to Flat Holm Island

Nudists from all over the Country went to Flat Holm Island, in the Bristol Channel, yesterday but Katie Price, and Dolly Parton, were told they would not be allowed in Flat Holm.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Owen left on his Own

Take That, star Mark Owen, went shopping for two hours yesterday on his own.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

The Black Eyed Peas

The Black Eyed Peas claim they are more popular than Mr Bean.
Mr Bean was asked about this as he left a public toilet in London saying "I have just been for a pee.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Former Death Row Scot Richey is now Richy

Former Death row Scot Kenny Richey has inherited a share in an oil field and is now very richy.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Jack Tweed says Goody

Jack Tweed said Goody when he was cleared of rape at
East London's Snaresbrook Crown Court.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Nicklas Bendtner claims he is one of the best strikers

Footballer Nicklas Bendtner, claims he is one of the Worlds best strikers but former Miner, Ian Smith claims that during 1984-5 the miners strike he was one of the best strikers in the World.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Jesse James said he would like to shoot his wife in next Movie

Jesse James said today that he would like to shoot his wife Sandra Bullock in her next Movie. "I have always wanted to get behind the camera" he said.

written by SPECTRUM, 27 April 2010

Nick Clegg Will Welcome Aliens If Elected - The Sun/The Telegraph/The Daily Mail/The Daily Express etc...

Despite warnings from Stephen Hawking that aliens will destroy everything and take our brave boys jobs, loony liberal Clegg is planning to let them eat our children as part of his immigration policy.

written by Ron Smith, 27 April 2010

Timmy Mallet asked to leave library

It's reported, his clothes were far too loud.

written by Bandersnatch, 27 April 2010

Peppa Pig is withdrawn from Labour's election campaign

Peppa Pig is to withdraw from the Labour Party's 2010 Election campaign because she may cause offence to Muslims. However, she may be filming for an episode of Southpark

written by IN SEINE, 27 April 2010
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