Priests to be given PENANCES by Pope
Priests to be given Penances for sexually abusing young boys.'Say 3 Hail Marys + 2 Our Fathers. All sins will be forgiven'.
What about the victims? Sell the Vatican. Divide the proceeds amongst them.
written by Lady Godiva, 15 April 2010
Meteor Shower Responsible for Judge Crabby's Stupidity
Life partner for Wis. District Judge Crabby claims fireball that nearly destroyed their love nest encouraged her to declare Prayer Day unconstitutional. 'If God really existed we would be dead'.
Scientists have crossed early surreal art with a hermaphrodite.
They've called it Lady Dada.
written by Bandersnatch, 15 April 2010
Hamilton's Impounded Merc will "Help Obama heal the world"
Apples over Broadway
sure sign of unrest up the valleys
for complex problem
seen after walking into lamp post
spring onions for breakfast
marshmallows for tea
Man eyes Apple
settles for grape
British Chancellor Darling predicts rosy future for Welsh industry
Eddie Lizard criticised for marathon
running down the heart of Great Britain.
started crying early to garner more sympathy votes. Clegg delays his crying hoping to peak or peek just ahead of election day. Cameron plans to force feed his neice with a bloody burger.
"To Laugh or Cry"
The great question facing the leaders of Britain's main polical parties In re upcoming national broadcast debate.
Man "kicks bucket"
and spills water.
"for the right to de-party".
"Patent Applied For"
New jam-jams made out of lemon-curd.
"Turns out that"
Fat men more willing to take risks.
ACLU demands "rights"
Man responsible for the "deaths of millions"
of germs around a toilet bowl.
Charlotte Church and rugby boyfriend "Over"
the moon about getting married
Nick Clegg Bullies Brown And Cameron Into Silence On Televised Debate
Michelle McGee Says "Bullocks To Boll..."
This headline isn't going to work out, is it?
Sir Paul McCartney concerned about volcanic ash over UK...
... fears inability to get tan from English rain....
Fugitive .357 Magnum captured in Washington DC...
... pleads 'Not Loaded'...
Colonel Sanders orders new KFC sandwich...
... promptly dies again....
US President Obama attends tea party...
... conveniently neglects to wear neck tie....
Iceland Volcano Erupts...
... '70s rock band Deep Purple re-releases 'Smoke on the Water'...
UK Prime Minister Gordon Brown is planning to use anti-terrorist legislation to force Iceland to stop their volcanoes from emitting so much ash.
written by MonkeyInTheBath, 15 April 2010
Director shouts "Action!" and Cameron craps his pants.
New age definitions
Definition of the world's laziest man is one that meets and marries a pregnant woman.
Katie Price Pregnancy Update
Katie announces she will call her new son Handsome Stranger; named after the real father
Supermarket Bans Bruised Fruit.
Oranges to launch a peel.
written by Nick Hobbs, 15 April 2010
Sandra Bullock Shivers
Sandra Bullock shivered when the news was released over "Bombshell" McGee's custody documents.
written by Cal Jennings, 15 April 2010
Westboro Baptist Church To Support Tea Baggers
Reverend Phelps's church WBC is contributing to the tea baggers in the next round of elections. Signs are getting confusing, One says god hates fags and another says that god loves tea baggers. WTF?
written by Stump Parrish, 15 April 2010
Blame it all on Margaret Thatcher
First paragraph, page 1, Welsh Labour Excuses Manual.
There can be no doubt
that what passes for a dung beetle is not related to any member of the Welsh Assembly Government.
having no manned space capability is OK with NASA. Meanwhile Russia is upping its fees for transporting Americans to the ISS orbiting the Earth.
Gordon Brown wins.
Whitney Houston croaked at her first concert in 11 years in UK. Veterinarians were called responding to a 999 call from someone passing the concert hall believing an animal inside was being tortured.
written by Lady Godiva, 15 April 2010