Breaking News on Attention Deficit Disorder Research
Researchers at Johns Hopkins have announced that studies on ADD yielded some new stuff. There's also the new Doritos in the 4th floor vending machine outside Oncology. Hey, it's Friday! TGIF!
written by Sparky Fletcher, 07 November 2008
Rham Emanuel denies being undercover Mossad Agent!
Tapped as Chief of Staff for Obama, R. Emanuel is fighting vicious rumors of him being an Isrealie Mossad agent. He admits to being born in Israel, and that his father was a fighter with the Irgun.OY
written by Leslie Mintz , 07 November 2008
North Carolina stunned in Election loss!
OVERHEARD: How did our voters ever go for THAT man! The horror of it all! After all we did for them. Brought them over here and gave them good jobs on our plantations.President Obama, indeed!
written by Leslie Mintz , 07 November 2008
North To Alaska - The Sequel
The New Mexico Land and Fish Dept. head was found guilty of illegally killing a deer. He tells CNN, "That's it, I'm moving to Alaska, where a person can shoot animals 24/7, and even from helicopters."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 November 2008
And That Puts To Rest The Age-Old Cliche, "You Want Fries With That?"
In the Colorado Senate race, Democrat incumbent Bob Bacon has defeated Republican challenger Matt Fries...once and for all answering the age-old question, "Do you want fries with that?"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 November 2008
The 2008 Version of 'Easy Rider'
Massachusetts votes to decriminalize possession of small amounts of marijuana. Fox News has just reported that 50,000 busloads of college students have just left California bound for Massachusetts.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 November 2008
Hey Bobby, Is The Snowblower Plugged In?
A blizzard dumps 4 feet of snow in South Dakota. The governor remarks that the state owns the biggest snowblower in the world and state employees will simply just blow the snow down to Nebraska.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 November 2008
Coming Soon To Your Meat Market: Skinny Sirloin Steaks
The worst drought in decades in California is forcing cattle ranchers to downsize their herds. Most cows will soon only come in small, smaller, and smallest.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 November 2008
Pentagon Needs More Money
When the Pentagon asked congress for the approval of another one billion dollars Friday morning, they said that it was for the Iraq War effort, gasoline and groceries.
written by Bureau, 07 November 2008
What About Katrina?
When someone yelled at President Bush headed towards Air Force One this morning, "What about Katrina?", Bush replied, "She's great but I think Serena can take her!"
written by Bureau, 07 November 2008
Polygamist Sentence Request
A polygamist in Texas has pleaded guilty to 37 counts of bigamy. His only request is that he be placed in a cell with several cellmates.
written by Bureau, 07 November 2008
This is Not Henry Ford's Ford Company
The Ford Motor Company reports third quarter losses of $129 million. The auto giant wonders what it can do to increase sales. The answer is really very simple: LOWER YOUR FRIGGIN' PRICES!
written by Abel Rodriguez, 07 November 2008
World Record Impatient 'Tut' is Smashed
The Impatient 'Tut' record was broken by 6.8k commuters at London's Waterloo Rail Station today after an announcement that a man had fallen on tracks to his death delaying trains by up to 3 minutes!
written by The Big C O Jones, 07 November 2008
2 Poo sketches sold
An original pencil drawing of AA Milne's Winnie the Pooh fetches £31,200 at auction. The turd lot in the auction was entitled 'pile of crap', drawn in brown crayon by Andy Warhol was sold for £75,000.
written by IN SEINE, 07 November 2008
Obama's tan - no joke
Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has provoked criticism for describing Barack Obama as "young, handsome, and tanned". However, environmentalists describe it as proof of global warming.
written by IN SEINE, 07 November 2008
Slim Chance Fatty!
Fat women who 'eat all the pies' have been warned by scientists today that banging on about attending Weight Watchers meetings and drinking gallons of Diet Coke will not stop them getting even fatter.
written by The Big C O Jones, 07 November 2008
Palin on loss of Repulican election:
Well shoot, it was fun and a kick working with John. But I think age played a factor. As for me, I sure loved all the perks. And yes siree, I got my eyes on a Senate seat. Love them Prada purses!
written by Leslie Mintz , 07 November 2008
McCain blames Palin for Loss in Election!
Dammit Cindy," Palin" turned out to be so stupid! How could she think Africa was a Country? Didn't she know it was a Continent! I suppose she thought Delaware was a State also!
written by Leslie Mintz , 07 November 2008
