Jay Leno's Next Job
Jay Leno says that once he leaves The Tonight Show that he is planning on renting out his chin as a billboard.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 November 2008
The First Lady's First Book
First Lady Laura Bush has written a book. It will include sketches of what her husband thought the weapons of mass destruction looked like. The book is titled, "My Life With Old You Know Who."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 25 November 2008
Meteorite Hits Canada
A large meteorite was seen streaking across the sky in Saskatchewan, Canada last week. Thus far scientists and astronomers have only identified it's landing area as "somewhere near the Kent farm".
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Consumer Holiday Warning
A consumer watchdog group is warning the public that if they are presented with Christmas gift cards this year to be sure that they are made out by the U.S. Federal Government.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Mouse To Supermouse
Scientists report that the changing of one gene has turned a laboratory mouse into a supermouse. Cries of "Here I Come To Save The Day" have been heard outside the lab door.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
NBC Special
President-elect Barack Obama has agreed to a one-night special on NBC hosting, "Who Wants To Be The Next Secretary Of Defense?" "He owed us one", stated one executive.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
"Seven-Days-A-Coupling"
Pastor Ed Young of the Grapevine Church issued his 7-straight days of sex sermon to married couples last weekend in Texas. Young then spent Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights paying hospital visits.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Neanderthals May Have Talked
New DNA analysis proves that Neanderthals were capable of speaking like humans. Key phrases like "Pull Ogg's finger" still in use by today's Neanderthals.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Economy "Whole Lot Worse"
Latest Report: The U.S. economy is a "whole lot worse" than previously thought. This replaces the previous report that the U.S. economy is a "lot worse" than previously thought.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Iraq Asks Troops To Leave
Several Iraqi leaders have now requested that the United States pull their troops out of Iraq. They have also made the same request of Syria, Iran, Jordan, Egypt and Saudi Arabia.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Another Bush Turkey Pardoned
President Bush has not only pardoned 14 convicts but has now pardoned the official White House turkey. This was the first official White House turkey he has pardoned since Scooter Libby.
written by Bureau, 25 November 2008
Yet Another Bank Bailout
In the wake of the recent rush of UK bank crisies the Royal Sperm Bank of Smegmadale has jumped on the bandwagon and requested a temporary loan of the government's top wankers.
written by Rusty, 25 November 2008
Swimming Shorts
An ex-Olympic swimming & big moustache star has come out of the closet. Without naming names, we'll just say Mark Spitz, but his boyfriend swallows . . .
written by Mahavishnu BBZ, 25 November 2008
Grandmaster Blush
It is reported that anti-drug song "White Lines" is the most requested song by cocaine users in nightclubs across the globe.
written by Mahavishnu BBZ, 25 November 2008
Italy inundated with Benitos
Italy is becoming bankrupt after a political party is offering €1,500 for everyone who names their child Benito or Rachele after their fascisist leader.
written by IN SEINE, 25 November 2008
